Shower tomorrow - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

justnmary · #1 06-24-2006, 03:47 PM

Well our shower is this Sunday...I'm somewhat excited (not totally)...I get to meet a lot of his female relatives which I haven't been able to meet as of yet and all the food!!! My issue is the gift opening. I have issues with opening birthday gifts much less sitting in a room full of women opening gift after gift. I'm not a person that will ever ask for a gift or expect one. I wasn't brought up like that and I've got a serious complex with this to the point where I think I might actually need counciling. Justin and I kinda got into it last night about how negative I've been with the whole shower thing....well not the shower itself but the gift opening. He made a point (about how all the negative stuff has been in our lives the past few months and now something good and positive is happening and all I do is bitch) and now I feel terrible. I've apologized for my selfish feelings but "a leopard can't change it's spots". So how do I graciously (sp?) accept gifts when inside I'm cringing because people spent money on us? Boy I've got issues-what woman in her right mind doesn't like accepting gifts? Maybe I have some deep rooted incident in my past that someone gave me a gift and then I was expected or guilted into doing something because I accepted it???? I have no flippin clue as to why I feel like this. I just don't like it when people give me things....Christmas is stressful for me! That's the most giving time of the year! I know it's only a few hours tomorrow and I know I'll be fine, I just wish I could get over this complex. What's wrong with me?

ljeagle · #2 06-24-2006, 04:27 PM

Just relax and have a good time. Don't let the pressure of the gifts kill your shower.

syringa · #3 06-24-2006, 05:15 PM

It sounds like you are one who enjoys giving more than receiving. If you look at the gifts as an opportunity for family and friends to share in your happiness, it may not seem so bad. The ladies wouldn't be there if they didn't want to help you establish your new home and celebrate with you. They are giving a gift because they want to, not because they have to.

As LJ said, relax and enjoy yourself and don't let the gift opening become the focus of the shower for you. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to meet new future relatives and to reestablish relationships with those that you already know.

Let us know how it went.

fallbride · #4 06-24-2006, 05:21 PM

Have fun!!

Complicated Woman · #5 06-24-2006, 06:11 PM

Relax and enjoy it...even though it sounds like you're typically a giver, remember that if people didn't recieve, giving wouldn't be able to happen!

Hope it's a great time!

lisa82 · #6 06-24-2006, 11:59 PM

Don't feel bad. I totally understand what your saying. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I feel guilty when someone gives me a gift. Thats half the reason i've insisted on not having a shower at all (that and we don't need anything). I don't have any advice for you, just try and enjoy meeting his relatives and spending time with the people you already know. Good luck!!!

Sh@ks18 · #7 06-25-2006, 04:44 AM

Just enjoy your shower and dont stress about it. The women are there to shower you with gifts, just think of it as if youre opening a bunch of gifts that dont belong to anyone, because technically you have to open them in front of everyone, so think of it more as a task/chore and not an actual shower, if that made any sense.

maroki13 · #8 06-25-2006, 05:23 AM

I hope you are able to enjoy your shower...let us know how it goes!!!

justnmary · #9 06-26-2006, 03:21 PM

Well the shower was a "success". It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. We receive a lot of really nice gifts. I was able to meet a bunch of his aunts and a few cousins. My side of the family really didn't show.... I had 2 cousins, my ex-MIL, and 3 friends. So other then my daughters and 3 friends that are in the bridal party I had 5 guests there compared to his family of 30 some.....I was very upset and hurt by that. I have 4 SIL's and a sister...no one even bothered to RSVP...my sis lives in Germany and I knew she wasn't coming, but I have 2 sis-n-laws that live in the area that didn't come or RSVP, and 2 that live 3-4 hours away that I knew wouldn't be able to come....but no one RSVP'd.....not an acknowledgement or anything. So I was hurt. But I'll get over it. If I knew I did something wrong I could see why this happened but I don't think I did and if so I couldn't tell you what it was. But it was a really nice shower and my friend out did herself with the food and decorations and stuff. So I will be doing something for her in the near future as a special thank you.

Complicated Woman · #10 06-26-2006, 03:53 PM

I'm sorry to hear your family didn't come out for it. I would be hurt, too.

Glad that it went well otherwise and that you got to meet many of the women in your new family!

fallbride · #11 06-26-2006, 03:55 PM

Glad to hear you had a good time

Lizbet · #12 06-26-2006, 04:28 PM

I'm glad it went well. And, now you get to repay your friend for the wonderful party!

Sh@ks18 · #13 06-26-2006, 04:40 PM

Thats great that you had fun. Hopefully your family cooperates more for the wedding.