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sparklesweetie · #1 06-06-2006, 03:57 AM

I have another question for you all.
Previous Plans: FMIL and FFIL were going to host a dinner the night before the wedding. (Can't call it a rehearsal dinner per se, since we're not having a rehearsal.) That was all good and dandy.
Problem: FMIL fell at work and broke her ankle and tore the tendons away from the bone. Ick.
Situation now: FMIL is off work for at least a month and has to be off two weeks for worker's comp to kick in. FFIL hasn't been working much. So not only can she not cook, I seriously doubt they'd be able to give us the money to do otherwise with.

Solution????: FH thinks we should just tell everyone (BP, special guests) that we're going to X resturant to hang and chill and everyone's responsible for their own dinner. I'm not entirely sure about having them pay, but if they don't have it they don't have to come. We just really do not have the extra to host a dinner (unless we did a pizza thing or something), nor do I want to try and cook the night before the wedding.

So would this work? Is it insulting? Any other ideas?

kenzies_mama · #2 06-06-2006, 04:02 AM

You know I think your guests should understand the extenuating circumstance. We've been having rehearsal dinner planning issues and several of teh gromsman have been involved in the coversation because their around and both have said they pay for their own or chip in, this is not the plan but have they offered.
I think with what's happened people will understand and will be willing to come and pay their own way.

maroki13 · #3 06-06-2006, 04:07 AM

I think people would understand the extenuating circumstances.

The only other thing I can think of is if FILs are still willing to host the dinner (I was assuming it was at their place) while you take care of the food; buy bulk sandwiches at Costco or order some pizza. That way, your guests wouldn't be paying, FILs could still feel like they were hosting it, and it won't be too expensive. I'm sure no one would complain about the food, and no one wouldn't attend because of money.

SuzyBride · #4 06-06-2006, 04:07 AM

I think that would be fine! I mean they have to eat anyway right? I think they would totally understand, and like you said it would be optional! I would come and not be offended one bit!

TheaterDiva1 · #5 06-06-2006, 04:19 AM

Personally, I see nothing wrong with "the pizza thing." Maybe it's a matter of interpretation, but I see this dinner as a chance to relax after the planning's been done, and before the big day. Maybe a casual BBQ, ot pizza would be ideal anyway.

wembley · #6 06-06-2006, 04:36 AM

We had the grill going and salads and such at our dinner. It was actually more fun than my brother's dinner at a restaurant last summer just because everyone felt like they had to sit in their spots be quiet and polite. Not that people weren't polite at our dinner but it was a much more relaxed and outgoing feeling. People also stayed longer to have fun together at our party because there weren't servers and other restaurant patrons that wanted our spot.

I would say think about what kind of party you really want and what's most important. If it's to get together and have fun with your people before the wedding, than talk to your FMIL about still having it at their house and doing the pizza thing or something similar and easy. If it is to have a more formal gathering, than it's totally ok to ask people to pay for themselves. People will understand what's going on, especially the people that are important enough to be invited to the evening festivities.

sparklesweetie · #7 06-06-2006, 05:16 AM

We could still have it at FIL's house, but the only thing with that is that they live in the middle of nowhere and it's not even remotely close to any of us. Before it was no biggie since they were hosting it. It doesn't really make much sense to have everyone drive all the way out there (it's about an 40-50 min. trek) when they're not hosting. We could have it here, which would work too since I'm crashing here with the girls that night.

Just means more clean up before/after for me. (Although I could just use my sister's Papa John's discount [she gets 50%] and that wouldn't be much clean up. Hehehe.)

I'll have to run it by FH, I think he was wanting to go to a resturant so it'd be less work for us I think. Thanks for the input!!

ljeagle · #8 06-06-2006, 05:21 AM

I think it would be fine to just tell every one u will be at ____ if they want to come and join they can. I wouldn't think twice about someone asking me this. Have a back yard party would be fun too. You can do just a big pizza party or hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and chips.

Indigo · #9 06-06-2006, 02:54 PM

I think a pizza party would be really fun and easy. This way you would not have to feel weird about asking people to pay and everyone still gets together. I would do it at your place and just get tossable dishes and stuff. Put out a big trash can and there's your cleanup. Plus if there was anything else to pick up the wedding party could all work together and get it done really fast. Everyone loves pizza.

birdie · #10 06-06-2006, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indigo

Everyone loves pizza.

My thoughts exactly. Maybe I'm biased because I LOVE pizza but who doesn't like it? And it's easy, tasty, and quick for everyone involved. I say go for a pizza party.

If you don't want to have it at your place (so that you aren't left with the stragglers and really just want to go to bed for your big day) could you have it at a park shelter or something? Just a thought.

Robyn Lynn · #11 06-06-2006, 06:46 PM

Have it at a pizza parlour!!! Restaurant + pizza. Unless you are going for the Papa Johns. Then I like the park idea.

feb-bride · #12 06-06-2006, 07:40 PM

If I was in your situation, I'd rather host something I could afford (pizza) than ask all of the guests to pay for their own meals. That's just me, though.

sparklesweetie · #13 06-06-2006, 10:50 PM

Yeah, I feel kinda funny about asking them to pay. I think FH is thinking that because I'm about to run screaming into the wilderness from stress. I think we'll do the pizza thing, I think we should be able to spring that. (Note to self...talk to FH when he gets home tonight.)

michaelsbride · #14 06-07-2006, 12:55 PM

hey chick--

Just my thoughts here.... if you wanted to do something "more than pizza" but probably less money than pizza, you could make a big batch of baked ziti (super easy and i can give you the recipe or even just help you make it) and then ask someoen to bring the salad, someone to bring wine, someone to bring beer, someone to bring dessert, someone to bring maybe garlic bread, and so on... kinda like a pot luck... then everyone chips in to help clean up... still get a "nice" dinner without you having to do much? just an idea..a lthough most people DO like pizza.

sparklesweetie · #15 06-07-2006, 09:54 PM

I think that'll work too. Now to just get a reply out of FH....