| "Wed"iquette Discuss the in's and out's of wedding etiquette. |
06-01-2006, 03:06 PM
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Rose for Dad
As most of you know my dad was killed in Dec 2001, my brother is getting married Saturday, I know the bride and groom have nothing planned but do you think it would be in bad taste if I bought a rose to lay in the seat next to my mom where my father would have been sitting?
At our wedding I had a rose in a vase and also flowers in my bouquet to symbolize to me my dad's presence there..... The morning of I also had flowers delivered to his grave site......... I wont be so presumptious as to request they do that or even do it myself........
Please need help on this. I wouldn't make a big deal of it just hand it to my mom to place next to her.... what do you all think?
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06-01-2006, 03:07 PM
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I wouldn't do anything without talking to your brohter first. After all, it is his wedding. Let him know your idea and do it if it's OK with him. If he says no, though, you'll have to just "let it go."
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06-01-2006, 03:32 PM
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I was thinking about doing the same thing for my mother for my wedding. I have chosen on something else, but I agree with Margie. I would talk to your brother on this first. He may have a reason why he is not doing this, or may be doing it and nobody knows yet. 
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06-01-2006, 03:32 PM
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I was thinking about doing the same thing for my mother for my wedding. I have chosen on something else, but I agree with Margie. I would talk to your brother on this first. He may have a reason why he is not doing this, or may be doing it and nobody knows yet.
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06-01-2006, 03:50 PM
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I would talk to your brother first. It's possible he may already have something planned, and you wouldn't want to interfere with that... If he doesn't, then he may welcome the gesture.
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06-01-2006, 04:03 PM
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I would speak to him about it, like the other said he might not be planning anything in case it would be too upsetting. Or he may plan to do something privately...
I know for our wedding we had a toast dedicated to my grandma & Mo's dad, and it was beautiful although we all got quite emotional.
But Mo & I didn't discuss it with either family.
We also privately went to both grave sides the day after the wedding to deliver flowers to each of them, and just to let them know how much we would have given to have them there. It was very upsetting but appropriate.
I'm glad we didn't let our families know though. It's a strange thing to say, but I think it bonded us even more. We each knew that although our day was more wonderful than we could have wished for, there was still a hole in each of our hearts.
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06-01-2006, 04:10 PM
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Maybe, if your brother either has something planned or says no, you can just keep the rose with you. In a way, you're still honoring your dad *and* your brother's wishes?
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06-01-2006, 05:02 PM
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Thank you all very much, Bob's gut is to not do it either without brothers direct ok. Thank you all again.......
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06-01-2006, 05:27 PM
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What a lovely, and subtle sentiment to your father's memory.
But, it is your brother's and his fiancee's wedding -- talk to them about this. They may already have something planned, or it may be something they've decided against. Honor whatever decision they make.
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06-01-2006, 09:55 PM
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I agree. You should not do this without first getting permission from your brother and his bride.
It's a sweet gesture, but it isn't your wedding, so it isn't your place to be making the gesture.
The bride and groom may have other plans, or prefer just to not do this. Talk to your brother *and* his bride first, and don't be hurt if they turn you down.
Just as a thought, will you be in the wedding or sitting next to your mother?
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06-02-2006, 05:48 AM
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Bob and I are the "acting photographer and videographer." I do hope I can sit next to my mom, but unsure. It's kind of an informal wedding. They still don't know too much about what they will do except be married at sunset, have a horse drawn carriage, a FG and a RB.... and not much else.
I am hesitant to even broach the topic with DB and FSIL, DB's touchy about what he might call "advice". Sooooooo.......... I don't know........ Long story there...... Most likely I will not bring it up, just so no waves get rocked.
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06-02-2006, 04:36 PM
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Pin the rose to your blouse/dress/shirt? Not obvious, and is a double purpose - for your DB's wedding *and* your dad's memory?
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06-06-2006, 03:19 PM
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That's a nice idea DragonYoga.
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06-06-2006, 03:49 PM
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Kim did u every come up with something to do?
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06-06-2006, 05:26 PM
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I will post soon with D&J's wedding details!  I did get some really good shots I think! But boy howdy was it HOT! (well over 100)  Bob and I are off on a picnic and who knows what else !! 
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06-07-2006, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Kim&Bob2004
I will post soon with D&J's wedding details! I did get some really good shots I think! But boy howdy was it HOT! (well over 100) Bob and I are off on a picnic and who knows what else !! |
i'm waiting for the details and pics, kim!!!
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06-07-2006, 06:36 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DragonYoga
i'm waiting for the details and pics, kim!!!
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 Soon, when I have a few minutes to do so! I will post a couple pics but not many as they are kind of private people.
It was hot though! One more day left on our vacation and we are enjoying it!
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06-13-2006, 02:10 PM
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glad I could send you some yuks your way!
So whacha doing on your vacation, besides TTC? 
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06-15-2006, 05:40 PM
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It's really nice of you to do things to remember your dad. I am a self-confessed daddy's girl and I know where you are coming from. Too bad your dad is no longer with you. I agree with them, talk to your brother first then agree on something you can do in order to remember your dad in his big day.. My dad gave me his wedding ring and I hooked it up with my necklace.. more like a pendant.. I wear it day in and day out.. im not living with my parents anymore and this is the way I can think of not to miss him too much and keep him close to my heart at the same time.
Beverly Spencer
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