| Honeymoon & Destination Weddings Discuss honeymoon and destination weddings. |
06-01-2006, 02:59 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Family Drama...
Hello ladies,
I have a little situation I am experiencing with my brother-in-law. I am in the process of planning a destination wedding to the Dominican Republic. My ex-husband and I are re-marrying on Nov. 3,2006. We sent out our save-the-date cards with hotel information and travel coordinator info. We have very rates for a 5-star hotel, all-inclusive. All of a sudden we are getting phone calls from his brother asking if they can stay at another hotel that is cheaper and just come to our wedding. This has just put a bad taste in my mouth. The purpose of having a destination wedding (so I thought) was to have everyone together. It keeps everything organized. I think he was out of line to even consider doing something like that. Has anyone ever experience this kind of unnecessary drama.
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06-01-2006, 03:05 PM
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I've never planned a destination wedding, but I see no problem with him wanting to save some money and stay at a different hotel. He can always come to your hotel if there's anything planned to spend time with everyone.
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~Margie
Livin' life... havin' fun 
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06-01-2006, 03:12 PM
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I agree. Unless there is of course a cheaper rate for you if everyone stays and books at your hotel? Personally I would want to stay where everyone else is, but maybe too they want more privacy???????? 
Welcome Btw! 
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06-01-2006, 03:13 PM
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Oh yeah  Welcome to Pash!
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~Margie
Livin' life... havin' fun
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06-01-2006, 03:21 PM
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I don't really see a problem with it either...if they need to book a cheaper motel in order to come to the wedding altogether, then I think I would just be happy they are willing to come.
Welcome to Pash!!
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06-01-2006, 03:24 PM
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Welcome to Pash. I agree with the other ladies on this one. 
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06-01-2006, 03:33 PM
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I thought the purpose of a destination wedding was to get married somewhere exotic and have a built in vacation.
I don't see an issue with brother wanting to save some $$$. The bottom line question is if saving that $$ is the only way they can afford to attend (may or may not be the case, but still the question) would you want them there supporting you in your re-marriage or to stay home???
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06-01-2006, 03:43 PM
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Hi Cadet, welcome to Pash and congrats on marrying your ex-husband! It's great you've come together again...
It's not out of line for someone to try to save money. Definitely let the BIL stay where he would like. It can be difficult to plan for a destination wedding, especially if it isn't your own, lol. I would support him on that. Make sure he has an itinerary of the events that are going on so that he won't miss anything. It's possible that he may want a bit of privacy too, after all, it'll be a vacation for your guests as well.
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06-01-2006, 03:48 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Heather
It's possible that he may want a bit of privacy too, after all, it'll be a vacation for your guests as well.
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Yeppers, my thoughts exactly. Maybe he and his SO want to relax and have "quality" time together. I know it would be going through our minds......  And, more than a couple days around some of my family would drive me BONKERS!
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06-01-2006, 03:50 PM
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Welcome to Pash!
I have to agree with the others.
Perhaps this is the only way they can afford to come. Maybe they need to make this not only your wedding but also their summer holiday. Maybe they just wanted some privacy, or are fussy eaters & don't think all-inclusive would suit them.
It could be any number of reasons, but the main point is that they care enough to try to come to the destination, so as convenient as it may be for you to have everyone in one hotel, it might not be what everyone else wants.
Why do you have a problem with him staying somewhere else and still coming to your wedding?
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06-01-2006, 05:15 PM
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i'm on board w/ the other ladies here.... i would be honored if he wanted to come, and i would totally support him staying somewhere else. the point is that he wants to celebrate w/ you guys in a way that doesn't put him out too much financially but can still be there for you and with you.
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06-01-2006, 05:19 PM
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Welcome to pass! I'm with the other ladies on this one.
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06-01-2006, 05:20 PM
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I would just be happy that he was willing to spend the money to get to the wedding. International travel can be expensive and you should be sensitive to things like that for all of your guests, including family. I know that if a close family member was having a wedding in D.R., I would have major financial problems with flying there and then staying at a fancy hotel too. 
Now if he's a millionaire and flying down on his own jet -- well now, that's just a totally different story. 
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**Jill**
Happy Trails since JULY 29, 2007
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06-01-2006, 05:40 PM
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Welcome!
I think it's unanimous! As long as you know what hotel he's at if you need to get ahold of him, I don't see the problem.
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06-01-2006, 11:03 PM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Marge129
I've never planned a destination wedding, but I see no problem with him wanting to save some money and stay at a different hotel. He can always come to your hotel if there's anything planned to spend time with everyone.
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Ditto.
I think you and FH will have more privacy if your families stays at a different resort/hotel. I think that if you are not paying for the resort then the guests can stay wherever they want.
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~Kelly~
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06-02-2006, 05:31 AM
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First - Congrats on your upcoming marriage and welcome to Pash!
Second - I don't think he's out of line for wanting to stay at another hotel and just come to the wedding. Be glad that he's willing to spend the $ to come to the destination wedding; I know many people who would opt out entirely.
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06-05-2006, 11:06 AM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by 555Ann555
Why do you have a problem with him staying somewhere else and still coming to your wedding?
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I am with the others on this too!
You should just be greatful that they will be attending!
I agree with Feb too - if I was spending all that money coming to your wedding and you turned around and said you HAVE to stay at this place I would probably turn around and not bother coming! I mean seriously you cant dictate how they choose to spend their money!
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06-05-2006, 12:49 PM
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Welcome to Pash! I agree 100% with everyone else. Since we're in the process of booking our honeymoon in Costa Rica, I know that while I love the five star all inclusives, if our friends and even some family were coming down, they wouldn't necessarily be able to spend the extra money for accomodations like that. Be grateful that his brother still wants to be a part of your day, and try not to make him feel too badly about wanting to stay at a different location. If it's down to a matter of money, perhaps his budget is smaller and he's trying to be a part of your wedding without having to go broke. Or he may just have a hotel preference. If you're dead set on having him at the same hotel, you might consider offering to pay the difference between the less expensive hotel and yours if there's any way to do so tactfully. Either way, I know from friends that it's quite difficult to get family and friends to a destination wedding in some cases due to the expense, so enjoy having your friends and family in such a romantic location-regardless of how they get there or where they end up staying! Enjoy your planning!!
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