After Death - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

Heather · #1 05-22-2006, 11:54 PM

Our conversation earlier about how we want to be taken care of after we die had me thinking. I saw a little documentary on the Taj Mahal in India - what a beautiful love story.

Though Mike and I have discussed the way in which we want to be disposed, we haven't discussed where...

Neither one of us lives near our family, his is 4 hours South, mine is 4 hours North. If one of us were to pass anytime soon, how on earth would we decide where? If something were to happen to Mike, I'm not sure I would be able to remain in Albany. I think that if anything happened like in the next year or two, I would need to wrap myself amongst my family and I would probably sell our house and move home. I guess cremation would solve that, I would take him with me, I just don't know if his family would go for that. I could see a fight with that. His family & I get along great, wonderfully to tell the truth - however they're also very Irish and Italian Catholic...

For those of you who don't live near your families, have you talked about this in great detail?

maroki13 · #2 05-22-2006, 11:57 PM

We live in the same town as FH's family, so if something happened to him early, I'm sure that his remains would remain around here. I don't know that I would be able to remain here after he passed however.

My parents live about 5,000 miles away, and I'm not sure what would happen if I passed away. I believe FH would discuss it with my parents and they would come to a conclusion. It would be tough because where they live now is not where they call "home" in the US, so I don't know where I'd end up. Home for me has been here the past 5 years, but I have no family in the area.

Good question.

Marge129 · #3 05-23-2006, 12:16 AM

We've never discussed anything along these lines. I know that I would bury him around here since he was raised here. His entire family lives within a 30 mile radius.

I don't know what he'd do with me. He'd probably consult with my Mom about it and together they'd figure it out.

fallbride · #4 05-23-2006, 12:53 AM

FH and I are already paying for our "spots". It actually covers all the kids till they are 18. We have talked about other things regarding this matter.

Heather · #5 05-23-2006, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fallbride

We have talked about other things regarding this matter.

Do you mind if I ask what other things? I certainly don't mean to get too personal. I really thought that after my last two surgeries we had just about everything covered, and I was wrong.

Robyn Lynn · #6 05-23-2006, 01:20 AM

FH has the option of being buried in Arlington National Cemetery, but when I asked him if he wanted to be buried there he said no. I think he wants to be buried here in Florida, but I better ask again. I think I would like to be buried here, but it really doesn't matter. I think I would want to be where FH plans to retire to, but I also want to be cremated (after my organs are harvested and whatever else can be donated to science!!! LOL -- I may not be able to be cremated).
If my mom decides to stay here after she moves here, then definitely i'd want to be buried here (assuming there is going to be a body to bury!!)

Heather · #7 05-23-2006, 02:10 AM

Thanks everyone for the responses & PMs. I appreciate you sharing something that can be kind of personal.

Robyn Lynn · #8 05-23-2006, 03:29 AM

Okay, I talked with FH (Thanks for posting this Heather because it was important) and he said he wants to be buried here in Florida. He says he wants me buried next to him. I told him what I preferred, but if I die first he can do what he wants as long as my organs get donated (he is an organ donor, too). I told him if he dies first I will make sure there is something to bury next to him even if it is just a lock of my hair(morbid, I know).

One other thing we have discussed before -- I told FH that if he dies while in the military I am NOT going to be the one to tell his mother or any of his family -- the military will have to do it. I could just not handle that.

Outside of military -- I will have the Bishop of her church ward do it.

Heather · #9 05-23-2006, 03:46 AM

You're welcome! I'm glad it helped to spark some discussion. The majority of the women here are fairly younger, and it's hard to think about that stuff, though it's definitely good to do it and get it in writing.

555Ann555 · #10 05-23-2006, 02:20 PM

We've talked it over, but mainly aboiut how not really about where... I want to be cremated but he wants to be burried...

we never really came to a soloution on that score.

I think if Mo died first his family would want him burried with his dad... But I'd rather we had a fresh plot for our family.

Maybe we should talk it over... We still need to change his insurance policy (I haven't got life insurance) so that it'll go to his wife so maybe we'll discuss it again then...

Heather · #11 05-23-2006, 03:25 PM

You definitely want to make sure he changes that policy. This is going to sound cold, but Mike is accident prone. He could be in a room 200 square feet big, with only a pole in the middle of the room, and he would walk straight into the pole. He doesn't fall downstairs, but he falls upstairs. Every time. When we got married, I made sure he adjusted his life insurance, lol. (Of course I adjusted mine too.)