My Mother - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

sparklesweetie · #1 05-09-2006, 01:07 AM

Background: I know my mom has issues, and I don't agree with some of the ways/things she did with us girls growing up. But I can't change that, and I've accepted her little "quirks".

But she's really starting to piieeessss me off. I may have mentioned it before (can't remember) but she told me when I was dress shopping that she'd help me pay for my dress. That's cool, right? Well, when I found the dress that I bought, she told me she'd give me $200 towards it. Awesome- I go ahead and buy the dress.

The problem? I have yet to receive one flipping penny from that woman. She's always been stingy, but she TOLD me that she'd pay me. The last time I asked (around Christmas, when the pocketbook was hurting) she told me she'd pay me when she got her tax check in. Yeah....I'm pretty sure she's gotten it by now. And to pour salt in the wound, she just got sattelite internet (with a dish that cost about $600 from what I understand) AND she just bought her nephews (they're 5 & 6) a battery operated four wheeler. Which had to have been at least $150, if not more.

Now, I understand that they're kids. But they're kids, and it won't last forever. Niether will my wedding day, but come on. I'm her daughter. I'm more upset over the fact that she's apparently gone back on her word. Nor would I have bought my dress if I knew she wasn't going to help with it.

Sorry, I just found all this out and I'm aggravated. So I'm just venting.

ljeagle · #2 05-09-2006, 01:37 AM

swtdl11552 · #3 05-09-2006, 04:08 AM

Ohhh that is just sucky. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that right now. It doesn't sound fair or thoughtful of her at all..especially at a time like this...with your wedding rapidly approaching. Wish I could help more.. but since not.. here is a virtual

Steph · #4 05-09-2006, 04:54 PM

Oh I'm sorry that you have to deal with that.

feb-bride · #5 05-09-2006, 05:22 PM

Normally, I'd say that you shouldn't buy something if you're counting on someone to help pay for it (without already having the cash in hand), but you should be able to count on your own MOTHER when she PROMISED the money to you. I think it's wrong of her to promise you money and then use that money to buy something for your nephews.

I guess the lesson here is never count on your mom for anything.

labeadel · #6 05-09-2006, 05:25 PM

That sucks Sparkle! I would just try to move forward and know now that you can't count on her.

ladedah · #7 05-09-2006, 06:15 PM

THat sucks....nothing hurts worse than being betrayed by someone you love (especially those who you've found un-trustworthy in past but are giving them another chance)...hopefully she will still help out and it will all work...

Marge129 · #8 05-09-2006, 07:04 PM

That sucks.

Complicated Woman · #9 05-09-2006, 08:36 PM

That stinks.

My mom did the exact same thing to me (except my dad came to the rescue and paid for the dress in her stead, so I didn't lose out).

She actually had a long conversation with me in which she sat me down and said she really wanted to pay for my dress, it would mean a lot to her, etc, and I thanked her and said she didn't have to do it, and she insisted that she wanted to.

So I go and buy a dress and what does she do? She says, "Oh, I can't pay for that. Just can't afford it. Sorry."

The woman has 10,000 in savings. She could have dipped in for my wedding dress. She has since bought my sister a gigantic swingset for $200 and a playhouse for $250. And I can't even say anything because she will think that I don't want the baby to have nice things, which isn't true. It just hurt my feelings terribly again.

I'm her daughter and it's my wedding, for petes sake. I don't think it's too much to ask that she help a little, and I didn't even ask, she offered and then didn't make good.

Anyway -- I know EXACTLY how you feel, Sparkle!

Heather · #10 05-09-2006, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

Normally, I'd say that you shouldn't buy something if you're counting on someone to help pay for it (without already having the cash in hand), but you should be able to count on your own MOTHER when she PROMISED the money to you.

I agree... lesson learned, unfortunately.

Sh@ks18 · #11 05-09-2006, 09:47 PM

Sorry to hear that sparkle. I hope your mother comes to her senses

Robyn Lynn · #12 05-09-2006, 10:08 PM

TheaterDiva1 · #13 05-09-2006, 10:33 PM

That sucks Sparkle!

sparklesweetie · #14 05-09-2006, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

Normally, I'd say that you shouldn't buy something if you're counting on someone to help pay for it (without already having the cash in hand), but you should be able to count on your own MOTHER when she PROMISED the money to you. I think it's wrong of her to promise you money and then use that money to buy something for your nephews.

I agree wholeheartedly. And under normal circumstances, I follow that. But, I got a little "it's my day" type syndrome and went ahead and bought it. The dress is paid for, btw, but she hasn't given me what she said she would, which is why I'm ticked. I probably should have went cheaper anyhow, but...c'est la vie.
And I LOVE my dress.