Maid/Matron of Honor - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

justnmary · #1 04-17-2006, 11:38 PM

Hi, I'm new to this so I'm hoping some of you could help me.

I have two very close friends I would like to be in my wedding, but I'm afraid if I ask one to be MOH the other will be hurt. So my question is, since one friend is single and the other is married, could I have a Matron and a Maid of Honor in the wedding, or is that just totally unheard of? Thanks for you're help.

SuzyBride · #2 04-17-2006, 11:50 PM

One of my best friends got married and I was her Maid of Honor and our other married best friend was her Matron of Honor. I think it would be perfectly fine to have both!

ljeagle · #3 04-18-2006, 01:11 AM

It's your wedding do what u want to do. No one is going to look and say "she has to MOH thats not right". Welcome to PASH! Jump on in and tell us about your self and the wedding.

swtdl11552 · #4 04-18-2006, 03:54 AM

I believe it is fine to have one of each ... I have seen it done before... with sisters as well - so I think its a great idea!

TheaterDiva1 · #5 04-18-2006, 02:34 PM

The only real difference between Maid & Matron of Honor is that one happens to be married, and the other isn't. They responsibilities and everything are the same. So, if you're that close to them to want to honor them that way, I say go for it! It's no different than DH having two best men at out wedding - and I didn't even have an extra MOH to balance it out.

feb-bride · #6 04-18-2006, 03:25 PM

You can have both. Just make sure you distribute the duties evenly so that one doesn't feel like she's not as "important" as the other. Some women are really funny about this stuff.

Steph · #7 04-18-2006, 03:27 PM

One of each sounds fine. It's your wedding. You do what makes YOU happy. Don't try to please others.

Welcome to the group!

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #8 04-18-2006, 03:34 PM

Welcome to Pash! That sounds like a great idea! When are you getting married?

Heather · #9 04-18-2006, 04:04 PM

Yep! I had both a Maid of Honor (my engaged, best friend), and a Matron of Honor (my married big sister). I just made sure that each were comfortable sharing their "duties" and they worked together very well.

It's definitely becoming more and more common to have less "traditional" bridal parties, so do whatever you want to do!

Welcome and congrats by the way!

555Ann555 · #10 04-18-2006, 06:53 PM

Welcome to Pash!

I agree with the others, it should be fine to have both.

tmo · #11 04-18-2006, 09:09 PM

Welcome to Pash!

It is absolutely fine to have more than one. I had that for my wedding party. My sis (single) was Maid, my best friend (married) was Matron. That was it for my WP. I've even seen 2 maid of honors. They were her sisters who were not yet married.

You can choose who you want in your wedding. Don't let anyone chose for you. There might be some people who figure they deserve bigger roles than what you've given them. Weddings bring out weirdest in people. Good and bad.

Best Wishes!

555Ann555 · #12 04-19-2006, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmo

You can choose who you want in your wedding. Don't let anyone chose for you. There might be some people who figure they deserve bigger roles than what you've given them. Weddings bring out weirdest in people. Good and bad.

How very true that is.

It has really surprised me; the people I thought who would be excited and helpful haven't been, but on the other hand I've been stunned by the people who are really excited & happy for me, ones that I would never have guessed!

Did everyone else find that???

birdie · #13 04-19-2006, 01:07 AM

I was my sister's maid of honor but she had a matron of honor too. I think it's becoming more and more mainstream since people are focusing their weddings more around what they want rather than purely around tradition. My FH is having two best men because he's been friends with them both since middle school and they are all like brothers. It's what he wants to do and I wouldn't want to make him choose. You shouldn't have to choose between your two good friends.

justnmary · #14 04-19-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marrying_the_Good_Husband

Welcome to Pash! That sounds like a great idea! When are you getting married?

We're getting married on Aug. 19th at 2:30. His name is Justin and mine is Mary. We got engaged Feb. 1st of this year. Time is flying and I haven't even started!!!! I was pricing up flowers yesterday, and looking for a wedding band for him, but dresses??? Haven't even started. We just nailed down our BP! So the clock is ticking and I'm stressing!

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #15 04-19-2006, 05:31 PM

Well, 4 months is tight, but you can do it! Have you found a place for the ceremony and the reception? That would be the #1 thing to book ASAP.

555Ann555 · #16 04-19-2006, 05:43 PM

Like MTGH said, you need to nail down a venue for the ceremony & for the reception (although you could have them at the same place) and figure out a rough budget.

Those need done ASAP.

Next you need to work out what is most important to you, what do you remember best from other people's weddings?
Was it brilliant entertainment?
Amazing flowers?
A stunning dress?
All the little details matching?

That way you'll be able to focus your money where it will show. If you make out a list of things that are most important to you & things that would be nice but you aren't that fussed about it should help you see things more clearly.

whiddle · #17 04-19-2006, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justnmary

We're getting married on Aug. 19th at 2:30. His name is Justin and mine is Mary. We got engaged Feb. 1st of this year.

Welcome to Pash! I got engaged Feb 1 too and got married in August! Looks like you'll need to get planning,ASAP. I would start creating a guestlist and then choose the ceremony, reception site, and any vendors you plan on hiring. You'll love it here!

Robyn Lynn · #18 04-19-2006, 07:07 PM

Mary, I am having a Maid and Matron of Honor.

You do have a lot of planning to do!! But it is such fun. Do you have a ceremony and reception site in mind?

Sereniti71 · #19 04-20-2006, 12:13 AM

Hi. I agree that it is okay to have the married friend be the MatronOH, and the single friend be the MaidOH. That way, no one's feelings are hurt and you get to bestow special honors on each of then

maroki13 · #20 04-20-2006, 12:26 AM

August 19! You'll have enough time. We are getting married on August 12.

I agree with the others that you can have a maid of honor and a matron of honor. Even if your sides are uneven, it will be fine. It is important that you each are surrounded by those that love and support you, even if the numbers aren't equal or it seems a little unconventional!

justnmary · #21 04-20-2006, 04:35 PM

We have the church and hall reserved, had a slight issue with the church, the original date was 9/23 and the receptionist at the church said the date was open but the pastor said he had a different wedding that day at 1:30. He said he could do them both but ours would be either very early or very late and we didn't want to stress about setting up and tearing down in a short amount of time so we changed it to 8/19. We could have had it Labor day weekend (my family would've freaked) or 9/9 but that day my neice is getting married and well, I can't be in two places at once. So we settled on 8/19. I'm going this weekend to look for dresses, I've done a lot of online searching and there's been a couple I really liked but I don't want to take the chance of ordering and it's totally wrong for me and possibly not being able to return it....so I'm going to actual stores to make sure I can try before I buy. I'm so happy I found this site, everyone seems to be well rounded and supportive, thanks for all your advice. Mary

Robyn Lynn · #22 04-20-2006, 05:06 PM

That's great that you have booked a place!!! I'm glad you were able to get a date you wanted. And just think -- you are now getting married one month sooner!!

Have fun shopping for dresses!!

koltsix · #23 04-21-2006, 04:50 AM

Your not the first, so don't worry that you are going to set some weird new trend. My older sisters best friend had the same dilema 6 months ago and she solved it the same way. It worked ot great. My sister was the Matron of honor and she said she was happy in her role. She was given a few important responsibilities along with her title and was very honored. So, go for it.

koltsix · #24 04-21-2006, 04:50 AM

Your not the first, so don't worry that you are going to set some weird new trend. My older sisters best friend had the same dilema 6 months ago and she solved it the same way. It worked ot great. My sister was the Matron of honor and she said she was happy in her role. She was given a few important responsibilities along with her title and was very honored. So, go for it.

justnmary · #25 04-27-2006, 06:58 PM

I would just like to say thanks to all for your input, i have asked them both and they both were honored, but i feel weird "dictating" duties to them. Any ideas on how i should approach this?