Second Wedding

[Navywife723]

Hello!! I'm hoping you guys can help me in the right direction...
My name is Christine and my husband is Nathan. We've been married since July 2004 and have a one year old son. Anyways...our first wedding was plannedin just a few months and we were married while he was home on leave (He's in the Navy). The end of his enlistment in Aug of 07..NEXT YEAR!!! So we are planning on renewing our vows. But I've got no clue as to what the 'rules' are or what a second time/renewal bride should wear...and such. I've heard that we won't need an officiate..we can have a close friend or family memeber to recite ourvows to us, but Im not sure if this s true or not. I'd also like to include Eian (our son) in the renewal since he'll be 2 1/2 by then, but since we won't have rings this time we won't need a ring bearer (sp?)...so I guess I need help all the way around..in every area...any suggestions would be nice and helpful!!

Thank you!!!

[cru5h]

Hey, welcome to the forum!

You're not really a second-time bride unless this is your second marriage to someone else. What you have is a vow renewal, and I *believe* that it falls under the same category as your first wedding would, especially since I think everyone can understand why you had to do it so quickly before, and why you'd want something a little more elaborate now.

Personally, I'm not big on "rules" and ettiquette. Just do what feels right to you.

[breezy]

To the best of my knowledge you can do ANYTHING you want for a renewal of vows. One of my best friends and her hubby renew theirs every 5 years. They just go someplace by themselves and do it. Their 10 year they found a small pretty church and renewed them with an officiant.
their 5 year they went out in the forest and shared their thoughts with one another.

As for including your son, you could have vows to him, if indoors use a unity candle, or you can do a sand blending (which is what we are doing in our wedding)

Have fun!!! and Welcome to Pash.

[Steph]

Welcome to the group!

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Welcome! I really had no advice here--just wanted to say hello! The only things I can think of for children are family medallion ceremonies, etc., for blended families...not when it's a renewal....

[Blue Eyes]

What are you wanting to do?? Do you want to have another "wedding" or are you looking to do a casual vow renewal. Do you want your whole families and friends to attend? What exactly are you looking for?

If you don't want all the fuss- you could take a small "vacation" somewhere (exotic??) and have a private vow renewal and mini-honeymoon. It would give you both a chance to be alone and intimate (emotionally) to renew your vows of marriage. This is a lovely and common way that many resorts cater to. Mmmm... breakfast in bed by the ocean..... sorry just daydreaming.

Some etiquette "tips" are: Resist the urge to register- if you are celebrating an anniversary also, people might want to get you a gift, but outside of this generally people don't ask for gifts for vow renewals (unless you didn't get any or didn't register the first time). If you had any attendants, think about including them because they are technically your "witnesses", but a long processional isn't neccessary because the traditional "roles" of attendants no longer apply. Your husband normally escorts you down the isle- no one is giving you away this time, you're already "taken". But you could have your son "escort" you, or the two of you could walk from either side of the alter and meet in the middle. Try to add pictures of your original wedding and maybe re-create your bouquet or something simaler. Generally things from the cake to the dress to the party are toned down alot. You usually don't have a BIG 5-tiered cake and a fancy 8ft long train. There's no garter or bouquet toss, but there is LOTS of toasting and dancing!! Since you are already married- you do not need anymore legal paperwork, and it does not need to be officiated by a recognized authority. Anyone can preside over this "ceremony".

Now, with all that being said- if you didn't have any of the above elements- go for it!! If you didn't have a wedding cake and tons of flowers or a father/daughter dance- then do it. The above tips are mostly meant for couples who had a big wedding. But, I am pretty strong about this- if you already got gifts, then don't register. If not, go ahead. Also, it might look funny if your dad was giving you away "again".

But this is an excellent chance of creating a fantasy theme wedding- especially "fun" and casual ideas. It's your party (think festive- not ceremony) have a blast!!

[swtdl11552]

Welcome to the group & congratulations!! Please thank your husband for us on the job he does!!
I don't have too much advice either - I think whatever the two of you feel most appropriate doing will work...Good luck!

[syringa]

As Blue Eyes mentioned, you can do anything for a vow renewal. It can be as simple as the two of you by yourselves or you can invite guests. You can have a church ceremony if you want. You can also have a private ceremony for family first, then a reception for a larger number of guests afterwards. You can have a casual picnic or BBQ or a more formal party with music and dancing. The options are limitless; the only constraints are your budget and how formal/informal you may want the day to be.

As mentioned, you can have witnesses but you don't have bridesmaids and groomsmen (you are not a bride and groom). Your father can escort you in, but he would not present you for marriage since you are already married. You can write the vows to reflect your personal situation. You might make a vow to your son to continue to love him, support, encourage, etc. (If you do that, be sure to video it so that he can see it when he is old enough to remember it). Have fun and do whatever the two of you would like to do.

[Robyn Lynn]

Welcome to Pash!!!!

[fallbride]

I just wanted to say Welcome to Pash!!!