Wedding Brunch - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

UCF_bride · #1 04-12-2006, 04:01 AM

ok...I know this isn't a pre-wedding party...but i didn't know where else to post....

i'm thinking about doing a brunch at this really nice restaurant the day after the wedding, but my fiance is really concerned about the finances....what is the etiquette regarding this? is it ok to ask the guests to pay, or is that something we should pay for as well?

note: most of the guests are from md, pa, and va, so I don't want to burden them with more costs in addition to traveling expenses...but I also know that to pay for another meal for approx. 20 people would be costly...

ljeagle · #2 04-12-2006, 04:26 AM

I don't think u need to pay for it. If they are OOT guest then they will have to pay for that meal any ways. I wouldn't know how to let people know about it and tell them that they have to pay. I think it's a cute plan!

wynelle · #3 04-12-2006, 04:38 AM

If it is an official part of the wedding weekend, then, yes, you should pay.

The wedding brunch has lost favor in the recent past, because so many couples leave the reception to go on the honeymoon. But, when it was in favor, either set of parents (or both) would invite the wedding party and the OOT guests to brunch to say farewell.

(With one of our children's wedding, his mother did the rehersal dinner and his father did the brunch)

It is an invited function, usually in the hotel where the majority of guests are staying (but can also be in a private home), and should be provided as a courtesy. I just don't see how you can invite guests and expect them to pay for themselves.

whiddle · #4 04-12-2006, 04:52 AM

I think that you could let people know that you will be at such and such place at 8 am or whatever, if they want to see you off. It will then be up to them to come and pay. If you list it with your wedding invites- then you should pay.

UCF_bride · #5 04-12-2006, 01:35 PM

ok...cause I haven't mentioned anything yet. I was just planning on running the thought by those who are coming, and seeing what they thought...

Mrs.Levitt · #6 04-12-2006, 02:11 PM

we are doing an after wedding brunch at the hotel we are having the reception at. They actually are providing us with a gift opening room and brunch for 20 people for our first morning married.

The hotel seems to do alot of little extras like that. Makes the price more bearable since we are getting alot that we wouldnt otherwise. If it wasnt included we probably wouldnt do it, To much expense.

Heather · #7 04-12-2006, 04:00 PM

I agree with Wynelle. Mike and I talked about doing a brunch too, but it would have been too expensive for us to pay for it, so we didn't. Many of our guests were from out of town, so most of them left before 9am to get on the road anyway. We did hang out in the hotel lobby for a while saying goodbye to family and friends, etc. Then, we snuck off and had a champagne brunch with just the two of us. It was really nice, quiet time and we got to chat about everything.

Steph · #8 04-12-2006, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

I agree with Wynelle. Mike and I talked about doing a brunch too, but it would have been too expensive for us to pay for it, so we didn't. Many of our guests were from out of town, so most of them left before 9am to get on the road anyway. We did hang out in the hotel lobby for a while saying goodbye to family and friends, etc. Then, we snuck off and had a champagne brunch with just the two of us. It was really nice, quiet time and we got to chat about everything.

That wedding rocked!

Heather · #9 04-12-2006, 04:54 PM

Aww, thank you! People are still talking about the food, lol.

kenzies_mama · #10 04-12-2006, 05:03 PM

We are debating on this as well, atm I think we have decided to have a small brunch at his mothers the next day, muffins, bagels, fruit, for our close family members and wedding party.

Our hotel would have charged us $12-15 a person for a brunch the next morning. Too expensive for us.

ladedah · #11 04-12-2006, 05:40 PM

We are having a brunch on Sunday morning, but we're having it at our house...we have plenty of room and although FH and I aren't staying there the night before my parents and grandparents and two aunts and their families are....so they'll be there to get everything ready. We are going to have several breakfast casseroles that we will have prepared on Friday...they will just have to bake on Sunday as well as some muffins (we pre-mixed the dry ingrediets already in big gladware so only the liquids have to go in)....most of our OOT guests will leave, this will primarily be family and wedding party...people we want to spend more time with to reflect about the wedding.

UCF_bride · #12 04-15-2006, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whiddle

I think that you could let people know that you will be at such and such place at 8 am or whatever, if they want to see you off. It will then be up to them to come and pay. If you list it with your wedding invites- then you should pay.

so it would be ok to say "i'm thinking about having my brunch at this place, if you want to join us, then let me know so I can make reservations accordingly."?

since I work at the place, I would get a discount if i "paid" for it, so what i'm hoping to do is pay for so many people up front, and then have people pay me back that morning if they decided to come...

wynelle · #13 04-15-2006, 11:55 PM

No. That's sort of exactly what you *shouldn't* do.

If a guest said When are you leaving for the honeymoon?" and you said "Sweetie and I are having brunch at XXXX, then leaving for our honeymoon," and the guests said "Oh, we would love to join you. Would you mind? We need to eat brunch before we leave to go home anyway. What time will you be there?" Okay.

Or-- you can get a family member or close friend to pass the word that there is an unofficial gathering for brunch if anyone wants to join in. The brunch costs $XXX, and "friend" will make reservations for anyone who wants to come along.

But for you to ask for money up-front, not quite so tactful or appropriate.

UCF_bride · #14 04-16-2006, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wynelle

Or-- you can get a family member or close friend to pass the word that there is an unofficial gathering for brunch if anyone wants to join in. The brunch costs $XXX, and "friend" will make reservations for anyone who wants to come along.

But for you to ask for money up-front, not quite so tactful or appropriate.

I apologize...I don't mean to sound so...rude. I think that is what I'll do though: tell my mother and FMIL to pass the word along.

ljeagle · #15 04-16-2006, 04:58 AM

I'm sure with your mom telling people it would sound better then telling people we are having a brunch if u want to come its $$$.