MOH/BM "rules" - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

powergirl · #1 04-05-2006, 04:22 AM

I'm helping my cousin plan her wedding and we are having an issue with the bridal party. Her older sister who is married is her Matron of Honor. She wanted me to be her Maid of Honor, however, thought she couldn't because I was married, so she asked me to be BM. My younger sister was asked to be a Maid of Honor because she was next in line. HOWEVER, my younger sister will be married by Dec. 2005 before my cousin gets married in Aug. 2007. The thing is, is that my cousin wanted me to be the Maid of Honor in the first place, but thought it wasn't "right etiquette" because I was married. Now my sister is getting married before her, so she has the same dilemma. I know that the only difference of Maid/Matron is the marriage status and she would just make us all Matrons, BUT we all know her ONLY sister will not have us sharing her TITLE as Matron! So my question is, is it still "okay" for my sister and I (who are her cousins) to be a Maid of Honor or would it be more sensible just to make us BMs to keep the peace.

swtdl11552 · #2 04-05-2006, 04:35 AM

Well - ummm...etiquette wise I don't knkow..the other girls will help you there. Usually though, I don't think you have more than one maid or matron of honor. So she should have the one matron of honor...and you two should be her BMs...thats my opinion...again..the other girls are hot with the etiquette advice!

wynelle · #3 04-05-2006, 05:34 AM

She can have all "Honor" attendants who are matrons rather than "maids"- no requirement to have one of each or only one of each. Just divvy up the usual tasks- one holds the flowers, one carries the groom's ring, one straightens the gown/train.

It seems it would keep the family peace betterin this case if the sister remained the only "Matron of Honor," and the two cousins were bridesmaids, since that is sort of the way it is going anyway.

ljeagle · #4 04-05-2006, 07:38 AM

I think I would just do the one MOH and the other too can be BM. It's just a title you two BM know what you mean to her.

cru5h · #5 04-05-2006, 11:41 AM

I can't believe someone's letting ettiquette (that absolutely no one attending the wedding will even question) hold up who she chooses for her wedding party. Sounds like she's going to have loads of fun planning too if this is throwing her for a loop. I'm the anti-ettiquette. If there's no logical or sentimental reason for something, I don't sweat it.

Heather · #6 04-05-2006, 01:41 PM

You can have both a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor. However I agree with Wynelle. Just go the Matron of Honor route, and call the rest of you Honor Attendants. No one is going to be the wiser...

SuzyBride · #7 04-05-2006, 02:31 PM

I say if she wants all of you to be matron of honors, then you should all be matron of honors!! Who cares if her ONLY sister wants to be the ONLY one with the title?!?! It isn't her choice! I wouldn't think that your sis would still be asked to be a matron of honor though since she was being considered as a replacement for you anyway... And none of you should have ever been considered for maid of honor, as maid means single, not married.. How many attendants does she have? I think it would be odd for all her attendants to be matrons of honor... If she is only going through all this because she feels like she has to have a maid of honor, she doesn't.. and then ya'll (you and your sis) should just go ahead and be bridesmaids/bridesmatrons/whatever... BUT if she really wants you all to have the title "of honor" then tell her to go ahead and do it!

whiddle · #8 04-05-2006, 04:23 PM

I don't think it matters what you are called. I would remain a BM though and let her sister be MOH.