dilemma

[lucky7]

I'm planning a wedding for next summer and with just my side the guest list is over 150 and thats JUST CLOSE family.

I have to invite my fathers siblings, however my one aunt has this horrible daughter that I can NOT stand. Shes sort of the primadonna of the family and is overly spoiled. Constantly putting people down and being rude, starting roumers [most recent being me wanting her b/f whom is 6 years younger than me].And no matter how nice something is, she criticizes it and she ends up turning my whole family against me.

Now that you have the background, heres my problem. She still lives at home, I have to invite her parents. How can I make it clear that I do NOT want her there?

I'm terrified that she'll show up with her boyfriend and this stupid dog she takes with her everywhere and complain the whole time and state LOUDLY how special she is and what a princess she is and how her wedding will be soooooo much better. I want my day to be special to me and I don't want some snotty teenage princess putting down whats supposed to be the best day of my life.

I can't NOT invite her parents even though I don't really like them either. How can I make it clear that she's not included on that invitation? And if she shows up and says ANYTHING out of line [she says very hurtful things], I plan on asking her to leave.

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Welcome to Pash, Lucky! Do you think addressing the invite to Mr. and Mrs. ____ she would show up anyway? What about if you clearly put on the RSVP card 2 will [checkbox] won't [checkbox] attend? Are you inviting your other cousins? If you are it might cause a big family drama not to invite her. If you're not, then you have a perfect excuse and she won't take it personally. However, keep in mind with 150 just on your side, so possibly 200-300 with your FH's side, realize this girl won't possibly ruin your day. You will have SO many people to talk to, etc., you really won't notice her or anything she says/does. Of course, I'm sure it's possible if someone really made a spectacle of themselves everyone would notice--but it wouldn't be ruining your wedding, it just would be the other guests at the crazy babe on the dancefloor.

[ljeagle]

I would do what MTGH said just put on the invite Mr. & Mrs. ______. I can't see someone writing Not Miss. ______ on a invite. Just hope and pray she gets the hint. If you see her b-4 the wedding just let her know the invite is not for her. If you don't get along any ways what more would it hurt.
Welcome to PASH!

[lucky7]

Well, she has a way of just pushing her way in. If I tell her she's not invited, she'll come anyways, or it'll tick my whole family off on that side and not come. Either way, I'm ok with it. She throws big fits. I really only wanted to ask one of my aunts and cousins on that side anyways.

She is a horrible person. Example: Last week, my bf and i went to eat at the resteraunt she works at. She starts yelling she wasnt born to work and doesnt do dishes, all around making a scene. I never said a word

2 days later, My whole family is saying that I'm trying to steal her BF and my guy is just a decoy, and that I provoked her into saying it. [never talked to her the entire time i was there] Her mom is calling everyone ranting about me and 'oh why does everyone hate poor ashley?' 'She doesnt deserve that'.

Trust me, if she comes, she will make her presence known to one and all.

She does the same to all of the female cousins. I really want to avoid the drama. And I want my day perfect. Perfect means without her. If it ticks off the rest of them, than great. I dont really know them, they all dislike me and have since i was a child.

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Originally Posted by lucky7

My whole family is saying that I'm trying to steal her BF and my guy is just a decoy.

Wow, that's some plan you have there to go through a sham of a wedding just so she will bring her boyfriend to the "wedding" and you can leave the "decoy" at the alter and run off into the sunset with her man! So, your family members have told you this directly? Sounds pretty frustrating for you!

[swtdl11552]

I don't quite understand how someone who is UNinvited to a wedding can come anyway...that is what you have a mait're de for (forget the spelling). Let him/her know in advance to escort that person out if they should arrive. Thats just childish and I don't think you should feed into it. She is uninvited, she CANNOT attend.

[Sereniti71]

If you address to Mr. and Mrs. and write in "2" will or will not attend, that should send a strong message. My invites were like that. We did get some calls asking if they were allowed to bring more than were invited, and we had to stick to our guns due to the lack of space.

[cru5h]

Hey Lucky! Welcome aboard. First, let me say that I appreciate that you spelled dilemma correctly I don't have the right advice on this. I mean, unless you count "Don't bring your bitchass daughter" on the invitation as good advice Good luck!

[feb-bride]

I don't have the greatest of advice here, but I do have a question. If these people (not just the cousin) are all talking crap about you wanting her man, then why are you inviting any of them to your wedding? I'm sorry, but I would have never invited people like that to my wedding, no matter how they're related to me.

[michaelsbride]

Originally Posted by feb-bride

I don't have the greatest of advice here, but I do have a question. If these people (not just the cousin) are all talking crap about you wanting her man, then why are you inviting any of them to your wedding? I'm sorry, but I would have never invited people like that to my wedding, no matter how they're related to me.

OOOO does that mean i dont have to invite my mother?!??!?!

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Originally Posted by cru5h

Hey Lucky! Welcome aboard. First, let me say that I appreciate that you spelled dilemma correctly I don't have the right advice on this. I mean, unless you count "Don't bring your bitchass daughter" on the invitation as good advice Good luck!

Now would "Don't bring your bitchass daughter" be engraved or is hand calligraphy ok?

[cru5h]

hand calligraphy's classier

[Complicated Woman]

I think if I were going to tell someone not to bring their bitch-ass daughter, I would cut out letters from magazines and paste it on an engraved invitation, ransom note style. Very threatening.

Lucky, welcome to Pash! Honestly, why invite them if they all treat you horribly? They'll create drama if they're there and if there not, so why not save yourself the money and spare yourself their presence?

[Kim&Bob2004]

Originally Posted by feb-bride

I don't have the greatest of advice here, but I do have a question. If these people (not just the cousin) are all talking crap about you wanting her man, then why are you inviting any of them to your wedding? I'm sorry, but I would have never invited people like that to my wedding, no matter how they're related to me.

I agree and was thinking the same thing. With friends like that you don't need enemies! Oh and I agree, if you write something about the witch cousin, do it ransom style!

[feb-bride]

Originally Posted by Complicated Woman

I think if I were going to tell someone not to bring their bitch-ass daughter, I would cut out letters from magazines and paste it on an engraved invitation, ransom note style. Very threatening.

You are one twisted sister, CW!

[cru5h]

I like the way your mind works CW...

[lucky7]

Well, If I don't invite them it causes major drama for my Daddy. I don't want to put him thru that. Most of them won't come anyway...[I've got a baby and am not marrying the father] *they are amish* There are a few of them I like and want to be there.

Actually theres just one aunt that I would like to be there and maybe my grandparents [but they wont come] .

And I had suggested to my mom that we just say 'uhh hey biotch you arent invited I dont like you n dont want you causing drama on my day' But well, she said thats not too nice.

I dont really care about 'ettiquite' [sp] They're amish, so yah know? I may just put no kids on theres and say the age is like 345 and over. I'd rather they not come at all.

Her kids are crazy. n all close to my age.

Please anyone, make them go away. Plus i have so much freaking family I cant really invite any friends. Thats not fun.

Eh, maybe by the date she'll grow up or dissappear with her soon to be stolen man. lol

I told my BF that I was gonna start hitting on him from now on. *not really, but it would be funny*

And we really havent announced anything yet. It'll be official on Tuesday. [yay]

[cru5h]

Well, good luck with everything. Stick around and tell us about your plans

[SuzyBride]

Originally Posted by lucky7

I told my BF that I was gonna start hitting on him from now on. *not really, but it would be funny*

I think you should start hitting on him!

[whiddle]

I thought Amish teenagers weren't allowed to date??

I would not invite her. I would send their invitation as Mr. and Mrs. Parent of Bitchass.

Mother Bitch ass:______will attend
______will not attend

Father Bitch ass:______will attend
______will not attend

*No children under 18 PLEASE. LOL

[ljeagle]

^^ ^^ That would work if she is under 18!

[TheaterDiva1]

Originally Posted by whiddle

I thought Amish teenagers weren't allowed to date??

Going OT, Amish teens usually spend one year in the outside world (I think around age 17). They're exposed to drinking, sex, pop culture, you name it. At the end of that year they have to decide whether to stay in the outside world and not see their families again, or give up and "sinful" world and return to their communities.

[TheaterDiva1]

Lucky7, let me ask you something... I know you said you side is 150, and that sounds like a big wedding (I don't know how many people your FH is having), but do you even want a wedding that big? Or are you inviting all those people because you think you have to? It sounds like there's no pleasing them from the way they treat you, so if it makes you feel better, scale back and just invite the people YOU want (never mind whether of not you think they'll come - it's about who you want there).

Oh - and welcome to Pash!

[lucky7]

well first off... with the amish. I think its the age of 18-21 or 16- 21. I'm not sure. Also here, you don't have to stop seeing your family. My dad jumped the fence a long time ago. But with him being ex amish, he has 11 brothers and sisters, whom all have 3 kids and upwards. So it adds up.

Second...lol. If i could get away with inviting a few from that side without seriously hurting people/causing drama, I would. But odds are Half of them won't come even with an invite. Unfortunantly Mr and Mrs. bitch ass daughter, will show up.

I think with the whole list, we had maybe 6 friends invited, and 3 are going to be IN the wedding. It blows not having many friends.

n then theres my other cousin, she's cool, n we get along. I asked her to be my MOH. Since she lives in anoter state it makes it harded, but you know. She's great. But she has this dress in my colors that i want from a previouse wedding [this poor girls been in like 23 weddings] and doesnt want to get the dresses I picked out. She wants to wear that one. Normally I'd be ok with it and understanding, but I really don't want 'leftovers' from someone elses wedding. And she can afford to get a different dress. Thats not as big of a drama though. I'm sure that one will work out somehow

[Blue Eyes]

My best advice is to not let anyone corner you into decisions that make you unhappy. Technically I belive you are "supposed" to invite family up to first cousins, however in your case- that could be tremendous! I think that if you haven't seen or spoken to many of these relatives- scratch them off. Besides I think that anyone over the age of 16 has to get their own invitation anyway! When I lived at home there were several wedding invitations specifically addressed to my parents (with appropriate RSVP cards) and it ws *understood* that I was not invited. There is no need to feed and entertain people who you don't have regular contact with. Umm... are your parents paying for the wedding? If not, then they don't have any say in who is invited to YOUR wedding (other than parental courtesy), but if they are- (some people argue with me on this) you STILL have a say in who is invited or not. You want more friends there- then make them a priority after the close family you have frequent contact with. Such as close siblings to your father and mother and their kids. Concerning the *bitch* daughter- if it comes down to it that you HAVE to invite the parents and it seems like she isn't getting the hint- maybe your mother (or a neutral good friend is better) can call her specifically and explain that her childish behavior is upsetting and that you wouldn't want place her boyfriend in an embarrasing situation and, plus, there are no animals allowed, "so please don't embarass yourself by showing up!" Then if her parents don't show up either- you just killed 2 birds with one stone! Good Luck! Stay strong!