Bridal Showers -- invite those not attending wedding? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

swtdl11552 · #1 03-19-2006, 01:33 PM

Here is my question. Since it looks right now like we won't have more than 40-50 people TOTAL at our wedding - my sister was talking about the birdal shower. What is the deal with etiquette on this. Since we are not inviting any friends -just immediate and very close family, is it not right to invite friends to the bridal shower? I'm not positive. But usually, if I go to a bridal shower, its almost a general assumption that I am going to the wedding, ya know? Unless I guess the wording on the bridal shower invite explains that... like:
"We may not get to see her walk down the aisle but we'd love to join in celebrating ..."
I don't know...its early...my brain isn't working

Thanks,
Shannon

ljeagle · #2 03-19-2006, 03:54 PM

I'm not sure on this one but I don't see where there is a problems asking someone to come to the shower and not the wedding. I was invited to a shower and not the wedding of a friend of mine she was just have a small family ceremony and she didn't invite any friends to the wedding. We have talked about this b-4 on here maybe someone else can tell what is really right to do.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #3 03-19-2006, 03:56 PM

The "rule" is that you shouldn't invite anyone not invited to the wedding. Although if it's close friends who understand the situation it would probably be ok.

swtdl11552 · #4 03-19-2006, 04:09 PM

Should the wording on the invite reflect this??

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #5 03-19-2006, 11:45 PM

I don't know.

Waiting for Syringa's expert opinion on this one....

TheaterDiva1 · #6 03-19-2006, 11:58 PM

According to ettiquette, people not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the shower (or any official gifgiving occasion). That would be like saying "You're good enough to give me a gift, but you're still not invited to the wedding)." I know that's not how you mean it, but some people may see it that way. How about having a luncheon instead of (or in addition to) the shower and inviting your friends there? Gifts are generally not given at a luncheon, so it won't seem so gift-grabby.

swtdl11552 · #7 03-20-2006, 02:25 AM

Nice idea. It turns out that the people I was concerned about WILL BE invited to the wedding. Don't y'all love how my plans change every post?

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #8 03-20-2006, 01:40 PM

LOL! Eh, things change! That's ok! Just glad it's all coming together for you!

Complicated Woman · #9 03-20-2006, 01:49 PM

, I was going to reply and then read the whole thing...isn't it nice when things just work themselves out?

swtdl11552 · #10 03-20-2006, 04:37 PM

I'm relieved. I'm at work today - thats why I can't write so quickly like I usually do.