the ex is going to mess my wedding up - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

ljeagle · #1 02-26-2006, 07:32 AM

The minter that is performing our wedding called on Thur. he wanted me to come by so we could talk. He is a close friend of my family and my sister does child care for his kids' plus he has married my 3 older sisters. He only lives 4 houses down from my mother so he was always around when I was growing up.

He is a minister at the church that Kenny's ex-wife goes to. When I ask Todd if he would performing the ceremony I told him this so he knew. But we had talked about not talking to her about this. He knows the problems I have had with her. On Sunday she told him she want to talk with him in private. He told me he had never talked to her b-4 this church has over 1000 members. So they had a meeting on Wed. after church servers. Some how she found out he was performing the ceremony. I think it is none of her business. But for some reason she thinks it is hers. She told him she just wanted to inform him that he was marring a couple that wouldn't work out. We needed counseling b-4 we even think about getting married. Todd didn't tell me every thing but he ask me if I was dating another guy. I took this as she had told him I was. I got very upset while talking with him but who wouldn't. She told him we was liven together he new that was a lie he can see my drive way from his. I live 2 house down on the other side of his. He insured me this would all be ok! He does want to have a meeting with Kenny and Me and the ex. Kenny is fine with this and wants her husband to be there. We think he he should be informed on whats going on.

I also got a call from my florist last week. My uncle works at this shop and knew something was not right. Someone called and said they was me and told them we changed the date of my wedding. I can't say this was her but who else would it be! She or who every did this should know that I would talk with the florist a dozen more times in the next 2 months. I never thought it was her till now. I called all the other vendors on Friday and made sure nothing was canceled or changed and I made sure to tell them unless I come in person nothing is to be changed.

Why is this women doing this? How is she finding out every thing? They have been divorced for over 10 years. She is remarried and has been for 7 years. What is her problem with me? He has been married after her and never once caused any problems with her. I have been so sick since I talked with Todd. I don't think I have slept more then a few hours at a time, every time I eat I get sick. I just feel like any day now I'm going to break. I am on meds. and the doc. just up it in Jan. If he ups it any more I am going to be a zombie. A wedding is post to be something to enjoy why can't I be like every one else and look forward to this day. At this point I'm dreading this day just because I'm scared she is going to do something.

Marge129 · #2 02-26-2006, 03:34 PM

OMG, sweetie... I'm so sorry to hear she's doing all this. Go to the meeting with her and the preacher... maybe things can get somewhat sorted out there. She obviously has issues. Maybe just keep as much about the wedding to yourself from now on. Is there any way that Kenny's kids are telling her your plans?

I hope things work out!

ljeagle · #3 02-26-2006, 03:49 PM

The only thing we have told his son about the wedding was where the church was. The DIL knows where I'm renting my stuff but has no clue about the flowers. I'm really not sure how she could be finding all this out. There is a loop hole some where I plan to find it.

breezy · #4 02-26-2006, 04:08 PM

UGGGGGGG! I am so sorry. That is just a miserable thing to do.

Unfortunately it sounds like she thought he would never be happy without her, and is upset that it didn't work out that way. The whole thing is so sad. She is remarried and basically comitting emotional adultery (IMO) by being so consumed with Kenny's life.

I really am sorry you are having to do double work to have the perfect wedding. But your wedding will be perfect and beautiful.

munchkin · #5 02-26-2006, 08:07 PM

that's horrible Lj. Telling the vendors not to change anything unless you come in person to tell them is an excellent idea though. I also think you should go to that meeting, as hopefully it will help.

Solar_Flare · #6 02-26-2006, 08:15 PM

That's horrible of her! Moving on with her life while still trying to ruin his. Sounds like my FH's ex.

fallbride · #7 02-26-2006, 08:26 PM

Sorry to hear all this!! She needs to get over this. She has moved on with her life, why can't Kenny?

555Ann555 · #8 02-26-2006, 08:31 PM

I'm so sorry you're having these problems LJ

It's the last thing you need with just 2 months to go.

I'd go to the meeting if you can face her without having to punch her

I think that if anyone caould talk sense into her it would be the minister, and at least he knows you well enough not to believe her lies.

I wish I had some advice that would make everything work out

Have you got your ushers sorted out? Do they know her? I'm only mentioning it because I'm sure it has crossed your mind already but you might want them to know what she looks like just in case this can't be sorted out & she decides to turn up at the wedding. Hopefully she wouldn't do that but I think it's better safe than sorry.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #9 02-27-2006, 12:19 AM

psycho

michaelsbride · #10 02-27-2006, 12:22 AM

just a thought...

at my brothers wedding, he had security standing by in case some unwanted guests showed up. They were in nice suits and acted like guests but knew who they were looking for. no one was any the wiser. once everyone was settled in the reception hall, they just kind of disappeared. it wasnt expensive either... they made a donation to the officers fund.

tough situation... im sorry you're going through it!

ljeagle · #11 02-27-2006, 01:18 AM

Thanks ladies I hate to keep coming here and telling all you my problems. I feel like that is all I have done in the last few weeks.

Kenny and I had dinner with Todd and his wife tonight. He talked with the ex and she is not wanting to have a meeting with us. Todd told her he would talk with her some more if she wanted it. She just laughed and walked away. They talked b-4 Sunday school and he said she left right after they talked. Kenny's and my niece (Tara and Peyton) will be doing the guest book Tara knows her really well and my niece Peyton has seen her b-4. Peyton also knows every one coming to the wedding on my side. We talked about it with them today and they know if she comes in she needs to let someone know. Kenny's brother said he would be at the doors until the wedding starts. Good thing about this church is auto locks on all the doors. So unless someone is coming out you can't get in with out a code. So we have to have someone at the doors to let people in. The church is only one block from the police station. I would hope it wouldn't come to that. Kenny is going to have a talk with John (his son) and see if he has slept up and told his mom any thing. I really think the only thing he knows is where the wedding is and date.
FMIL called today to see what was going on. She was all nice and I just told her what Todd told me and about the florist and she said it sounds like the bi***. Besides that nothing else was said.
Todd has insured me not to worry about it every thing will work out.
Thanks Ladies

SuzyBride · #12 02-27-2006, 01:28 AM

My thoughts exactly MTGH!! What a freakin psycho! LJ, don't let it get to you! If you do then she wins, cause that is exactly what she wants to happen. Go along with your plans and have a wonderful wedding day!

Also, I see no reason why you and Kenny should have to meet with this crazy woman. I think that would only fuel the fire! If you meet with her she will be getting the attention she is trying to get. I think the preacher, Todd, should meet with her and tell her that he doesn't appreciate her trying to interfere, and that she needs to mind her own business. It is not up to this psycho to determine whether or not you need counseling or whether your marriage will fail.. I mean is she even ever around ya'll to know anything about your relationship anyway!?!? Its up to you, but I think by meeting with her you are validating her and giving her positive reinforcement.

I hope all this works out.. Maybe she will grow up and get a freakin life!

Oh, and I would DEFINATELY let all the vendors know that plans are not to change unless they meet with you in person and tell them otherwise!

ljeagle · #13 02-27-2006, 01:37 AM

I called most of every one on Friday to make sure every thing was fine. I am going to go see every vendor tomorrow and check over things. Kenny is over at his sons house know so I'm just waiting to hear what he has to say about it all. I'm not really up for meeting with her especially with a minster right there. I don't think she will every do it so I don't have nothing to worry about it. If things some down to it and Todd sets it up then I will as long as her husband is present.

I know her step daughter funny thing about it is I went to school with her. lol I will see her this week at a training. so I'm going to ask her if she has heard any thing and tell her my

. I will not let her know how much this is driven me crazy. I just think this is a good way for her husband to know what is going on.

Complicated Woman · #14 02-27-2006, 03:27 AM

Wow, that's nuts. You've been having some streak of bad luck, lj. Sorry, girl.

deputysgurl · #15 02-27-2006, 03:33 AM

sorry to hear that. Luckily Im marrying a deputy. We have heard that his ex is going to try to ruin our big day, but the deputys know that she isn't allowed to enter the church along with my sister.

Sorry you have having to go through this. Just remember we are here for you girl.

ljeagle · #16 02-27-2006, 04:57 AM

Thanks!! Kenny talked to John he is so mad at his mother. He promised he has not told his mother any thing. He said she ask question all the time and he just says he don't know. So now I'm wondering who has even told her when we are getting married and how she found out Todd is marring us.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #17 02-27-2006, 01:46 PM

Instead of Kenny talking to John and you talking to her step-daughter, and both of you talking to Todd to talk to her, etc., has Kenny addressed her DIRECTLY about it?

but I think that's the best way to handle it and set it straight. Talking to all these random other people about it is only going to incite matters. I think Kenny should talk to her directly about it.

Complicated Woman · #18 02-27-2006, 01:50 PM

I agree with Jen. Just try to keep your cool if/when you speak with her. I know I'd have a hard time.

ljeagle · #19 02-27-2006, 04:41 PM

Kenny has plans on calling her but just has not did it yet. I'm going to stay on him till he does.

ladedah · #20 02-27-2006, 05:35 PM

I'm kind of late, but I just wanted to chime in and say how sorry I am that you have to deal with this...it sucks, frankly...

I know that everything will work out in the long run!!

Just keep thinking karma will get her!!!

Emily · #21 03-02-2006, 03:33 PM

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear about all this bollocks that you are going through - maybe a bit of comfort for you could be that Karma is going to come back on her one day and it will get her good! I know its easier said than done but try not to worry as you have more important things to be focussing on!

Heather · #22 03-02-2006, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emily

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear about all this bollocks that you are going through - maybe a bit of comfort for you could be that Karma is going to come back on her one day and it will get her good! I know its easier said than done but try not to worry as you have more important things to be focussing on!

I love your accent. When I read your posts I say them in my head with an English accent, lol.

Emily · #23 03-02-2006, 04:16 PM

Oh but Dahhhhrrrrllllling - hee hee

Steph · #24 03-02-2006, 04:18 PM

It sounds like this woman needs some serious psychological help. She is actaully quite pathetic.

ljeagle · #25 03-02-2006, 05:20 PM

John (Kenny's son) called last night and told me why his mother was so mad. Child support put a stop to past child support if she don't fight it then they won't take no more money out of his check. We knew something was up cause they didn't take no money out on his last pay day. For you that don't know John has lived with Kenny and his Grandmother for years. But the x was making Kenny pay child support if he didn't she said she would take him back. But Kenny would never report where he was working so there was a lot of back child support. Kenny got a layer and had a court date in May. Well Child support enforcement got all the information from the layer on what Kenny was taken her to court for and they dropped his past child support. I guess they really don't want to go to court. For the past year we have been sending them letters telling them what had been going on but they refused to talk about it. Every time they would set a meeting up they would cancel it. They are given her the chance to fight it but she knows there is a possibility she would have to pay all the money back. She thinks I have something to do with it I might have a little but it was Kenny's choice to do all the paper work. She also found out that her brother had to come to the hearing. After she talked to him and he told her he was going to tell the judge that she shouldn't be getting a dime cause Kenny raised John she was not a happy camper.

She also told John she never talked to Todd (the minister) it was my way of getting him mad at her and that she don't even know when we are getting married and don't care.
She just told on her self and he didn't even hear it! I had to point it out it might of been bad of me but I had to. I ask John how he knew the ministers name was Todd. Kenny and I made a point not to tell any one his name. He just laughed and said mom knew. Then he said he can't believe him mom thinks she has to lie to him. I told him not to worry about it I have fixed every thing and I hope she won't make any more problems.