dilemma - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

michaelsbride · #1 02-21-2006, 04:24 PM

I dont know if this post should go in "jewelry" or what.... hopefully someone can either easy my mind or put me in my place....

We're having a horrible time finding a ring to go with my engagement ring. I have the past present future three stone ring...

like this one...

http://www.zales.com/product/index.j...Id=10539069891

I've tried on the rings that "go with it" and they look horrible. i have small fingers so the three stones go completely across the top of my finger... all of the wedding bands to go with it, it doesnt line up right and all of the side stones go partially around my finger... we put a plastic three stone ring up against it though and it looked beautiful. The centere stone was pink and it was perfect (only plastic).

So heres my problem, to get this ring made or purchase another one of my rings is going to be outrageous to get matching diamonds on the sides. I have however, two diamonds that are the same cut, carat, and clarity. but they are the stud earrings my ex boyfriend got me. Would it be totally inappropriate to use the stones for my wedding band? They mean nothing to me in connection with him and i wear them daily anyway (never take em out except for cleaning). Michael is iffy using them. Said we should sell them and use the money to buy the exact same thing. That doesnt make sense to me to do that. If you have what you need, why sell it and try to find something the same?

Help!! advice on how wrong i am for suggesting it or suggestions on how to convince him they will work.

Indigo · #2 02-21-2006, 04:38 PM

Are you really set on having a wedding band? I am just using my engagement ring nothing with it. I too have small fingers and nothing really goes with it. I also like the way it looks by itself. My sister has done this also. She just has her one solitare ring.

Lizbet · #3 02-21-2006, 05:04 PM

I have a very similar ring, also from Zales. For my wedding band, I have a 5-stone from bluenile.com. I am off to lunch right now, but will post a pic when I get back.

ETA:
This is the Blue Nile ring.

This is my engagement ring from Zales.

I don't have a great close up pic of both of them on my finger, but here is the best one I could find.

BTW, my ring size is about 5.5

Complicated Woman · #4 02-21-2006, 05:08 PM

I think that if your fiance is uncomfortable with it in any way, you shouldn't do it. The ring is going to always be the symbol of your union with him and he might not want to be reminded of your ex every time he sees it.

I personally know I wouldn't want jewelry from one of FH's exes to have anything to do with our wedding band.

Good luck in finding a solution and congrats on your engagement! Welcome to Pash!

cru5h · #5 02-21-2006, 05:14 PM

I'm going to recommend something off the beaten path. Why not get a band you like and wear your engagement ring on your right hand, band on left? Try it out before you decide. See if you like it.

ljeagle · #6 02-21-2006, 05:18 PM

Have u tried a simple band to see what it looks like. It the symbol of the ring not the bling of the ring that counts. I know i couldn't wear something my x gave me as a wedding band. Every time I would look at it I would know. My fh would not stand for it.

Steph · #7 02-21-2006, 05:18 PM

I have noticed that many women after a few years of marriage don't even wear the engagement ring anymore. I just see them wearing the wedding band.

SuzyBride · #8 02-21-2006, 05:21 PM

Have you tried it with just a simple plain band? I don't think you should use the earrings if it makes your finance uncomfortable.

michaelsbride · #9 02-21-2006, 06:17 PM

I have tried the simple band... it just looks horrible.

As for just using my engagement ring, he flips out more hearing that... "so youre just gonna be looking like youre engaged forever?" (lol hes a drama king)

and for the suggestion of putting it on my right hand, we thought of that too. but we have a family tradition of putting black hills gold matching rings on the right hand and he doesnt want me to break from that important tradition.

For me, i just dont see the difference since i wear them everyday anyway (they werent a spontaneous gift... i picked them out and put them on my credit card so he could get them for me for christmas and he just made the payments). Now i just dont see the point in spending the extra money if we dont have to.

On another note, i even said to him if his ex had given him something it would be no where near his wedding band so i see where everyone is coming with that!

breezy · #10 02-21-2006, 07:31 PM

How about trading in the diamonds your ex has for new diamonds for your band?

555Ann555 · #11 02-21-2006, 07:36 PM

How about getting a really sparkly wedding band and just leaving the engagement ring in the box except for special occasions?

I won't be wearing my engagement ring most of the time, just my wedding ring. So for my band I chose a full eternity ring, that way I'll have a bit of sparkle everyday. Have you tried your ring with a full eternity? I think they could work together.

michaelsbride · #12 02-21-2006, 07:52 PM

I suggested trading in my diamonds for others but that seems futile to me. Take 1/4 carat diamonds... and trade them in for 1/4 carat diamonds. lol seems silly but if thats what he needs to see than i'll do what he needs me to do to make him happy.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #13 02-21-2006, 08:02 PM

It might end up being more expensive to have a ring custom-made for the diamonds from the earrings, anyway. And I agree that it doesn't seem "right" to use those diamonds for your wedding ring. If you BOTH felt comfortable about it, then that's one thing, but if there's the slightest bit of difficult feelings on his end it's SO not worth it and tarnishing the meaning of your wedding band to him.

whiddle · #14 02-21-2006, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marrying_the_Good_Husband

It might end up being more expensive to have a ring custom-made for the diamonds from the earrings, anyway. And I agree that it doesn't seem "right" to use those diamonds for your wedding ring. If you BOTH felt comfortable about it, then that's one thing, but if there's the slightest bit of difficult feelings on his end it's SO not worth it and tarnishing the meaning of your wedding band to him.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Thanks Jen!!!

michaelsbride · #15 02-25-2006, 07:00 PM

We went to my favorite jeweler and got everything solved....

We "traded in" my engagement ring for a sort of similar ring... center stone 1/2 carat with a blue sapphire on either side and a trillian cut diamond on the side of that... while we were there, we ordered my wedding band to go with it....

as for the ex's earrings, we were able to trade one in to pay for a portion of my wedding band and the other went to paying for his ring... so now my earrings are gone but i think we really came out the winners because we both got exactly what we want!!

thanks girls... you're great!!