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Wedding Entourage Discuss the roles of the members in the wedding party.

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Old 02-19-2006, 12:03 AM
laurmcne laurmcne is offline
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I am getting married in Aug and need some help with the wedding party. We are trying to plan things and I am finding out that I know less and less about weddings & traditions & etiquette.

I was thinking of having my best friend be a bridesmaid and then my future sister in law & cousin in law. (I am close to all of them) The problem is I am not sure if it is incorrect to have them be bridesmaids. The in laws are married (their second marriage each) and older than I am. I am 28 first marriage and they are in their late 40's. Is this weird or are bridesmaids supposed to be younger, unmarried, or what?

Please help me! I dont have a clue...

Thanks
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Old 02-19-2006, 01:13 AM
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Same exact thing I said in your other post...

Welcome to Pash!

You can have whoever you want as your attendants. It doesn't matter if they're older, younger, married, unmarried, or even men! It's the people that you are closest to that you want to stand beside you on such a memorable day. Pick the people that you know will support you and help you plan the wedding of your dreams.
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Old 02-19-2006, 02:35 AM
syringa syringa is offline
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I agree with Marge. Definitely ask them. If the ladies would feel uncomfortable being bridesmaids (they will probably be honored to be asked), they can decide that they would rather not do it, but you will have given them the opportunity to participate if they would like to.
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Old 02-19-2006, 04:07 AM
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Agree with the others.

The only difference is when your Maid of Honor is married. If she is then she is officially called the Matron of Honor. She would hold all the same responsibilities as a Maid of Honor. You can even have one of each, I did and it was fine.
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Old 02-19-2006, 01:39 PM
cru5h cru5h is offline
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Would married bridesmaids become bridesmatrons?

If you really want to enjoy planning your wedding, you've got to get passed being hung up on the details of etiquette and tradition. In the end, it's really your day and the people you wanted standing up with you should be there regardless of the way things are "supposed" to be. You don't have to fit into the guidlines of a wedding, you make the wedding guidelines fit what you want.

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Old 02-19-2006, 04:55 PM
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[quote=cru5h]

If you really want to enjoy planning your wedding, you've got to get passed being hung up on the details of etiquette and tradition. In the end, it's really your day and the people you wanted standing up with you should be there regardless of the way things are "supposed" to be. You don't have to fit into the guidlines of a wedding, you make the wedding guidelines fit what you want.
QUOTE]

AMEN!!! I don't think I would get married if I had to conform to societies standard and expectations.
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Old 02-19-2006, 06:17 PM
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Welcome to Pash!!!

I think you should ask who you want!!! My advice is to not worry too much about etiquette, especially if it is going to deter you from doing something that you really want to do and is really important to you! If you want these ladies to be your attendants then ask them!!!
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Old 02-19-2006, 06:46 PM
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Firstly Hello & welcome to Pash

As far as I know (and I'm hardly an expert on this!) you can have whom ever you want in your bridal party.

As I understand it the title changes from 'maid' to 'matron' when they are married. So you chief bridesmaid would be called your matron of honour if she was married. I've never heard married BM's being referred to as anything other than bridesmaids... and to be perfectly honest I don't think anyone would be too bothered about it!
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Old 02-20-2006, 12:33 AM
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My MOH and BM's were all married (BMs' husbands were also best men), but MOH and one BM were older than me. Age/marital status has nothing to do with it (except MOH would be Maid/Matron of Honoe, depending is she was marries, but her "duties" would be the same).
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