Bride wants stores listed on invitation to shower - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

armsss11899 · #1 02-18-2006, 05:25 PM

I am doing invitations for a bridal shower and the bride wants me to list all the stores she and her husband want gift certificates from on the invitations on a slip of paper inside the invite. They have registered for a few items from two stores, but mainly they want gift certificates. Is it tasteless to list the stores they wish to have gift certificates from? What would be a tasteful way to do this on the invite?

cru5h · #2 02-18-2006, 05:59 PM

It's beyond tasteless to put that in the invitation. It's becoming more and more common that brides will insert the card from the store of choice in the invitation, but that is still pretty bad ettiquette since it's the stores that came up with that idea anyway.

If it were me, and I was dealing with a bride who wanted everyone to know each and every store she is registerd with, I'd whip up a quick website at http://www.weddingannouncer.com and include that website address on the invitation (last line, much smaller text than the rest of the invite) or on a separate card/onion paper/vellum/whatever. Then on the website I'd list all the stores.

You'll get a more professional answer from the other girls, but this is the answer of a non-traditional anti-etiquette (to an extent) bride.

Marge129 · #3 02-18-2006, 07:01 PM

I agree with Cru5h. That's completely tasteless.

IMO the only thing that *could* be considered OK (depends on your area) is to put the registry info for the 2 stores she is registered at. Otherwise, she should put nothing and hope for gift receipts or just cash gifts.

roseprincess · #4 02-18-2006, 07:18 PM

I'm in agreement with the previous two posters. Listing the stores she's not even registered at is beyond tacky.

Kim&Bob2004 · #5 02-18-2006, 07:46 PM

I agree also that it is tacky. Since you are throwing the shower there is a good chance people will ask you what they would like or need and then you can tell them. Bob and I wanted gift cards to Home Depot or Lowes, but we didn't put that in anything. We told people who asked us, and my MOH told people when they asked her. Here is the way I view requesting certain items and posting it in the invite (wedding or shower) as a guest receiving it. I

. Sorry but truly, it is tacky and I did get an invite like that recently to one of my BM's weddings. The person throwing the shower for her had a list of all these things she wanted. I thought it was tacky and almost didn't go because of it, however common sense did prevail and I acknowledged that not everyone wants to abide by common decency and not beg for a certain wish item gift. I didn't get her anything from her list (I had already made my mind up weeks before what I would be giving) and another person I know did the same thing.
Glad to know though that I am not alone......

I think the little cards you get in invites are a bit over board too.... but then that is me....

SuzyBride · #6 02-18-2006, 08:07 PM

I think it is very tacky to list stores she isn't even registered at. And I'm trying to think of a way to do it that isn't as bad, but I can't. I don't really see a problem with listing stores she is registered at, but that is common in my area.

Complicated Woman · #7 02-18-2006, 08:40 PM

I too agree that listing the stores she wants certificates from is tacky. I often get wedding invites with the registry card included and I find that to be very helpful and convenient. I know nothing about etiquette, really. But I would definitely not put a list of places she likes to shop and wants certificates from.

As an aside, I just got an invite to a bridal shower that had a crappy B/W copy of a little computer graphic and text sloppily cut out to about the size of a business card that said: Cash for Money Tree and Gift Cards Accepted in lieu of Presents. I thought that was very tacky. Don't tell me what gift you'll accept from me.

Kim&Bob2004 · #8 02-18-2006, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Complicated Woman

As an aside, I just got an invite to a bridal shower that had a crappy B/W copy of a little computer graphic and text sloppily cut out to about the size of a business card that said: Cash for Money Tree and Gift Cards Accepted in lieu of Presents. I thought that was very tacky. Don't tell me what gift you'll accept from me.

Oh my Gosh! Bryanne, what are you gonna do? Are you going?

Complicated Woman · #9 02-18-2006, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Oh my Gosh! Bryanne, what are you gonna do? Are you going?

Sadly, yes. And I'll bring a gift card. It's for Tom's cousin, so I just want to keep peace.

Everything about the wedding is frustrating. It's on a Sunday morning because they're 7th Day Adventists and didn't want to get married on the Sabbath...which I totally get...but what about the rest of us? She's honestly the sort of person who probably did it just to make us miss church because it isn't the "real" Sabbath anyway. I really don't care for her. She's got a HUGE "holier than thou" attitude. She told her small niece whose mother is a practicing Catholic that she and her mother were going to hell.

This really belonged in the random venting forum, huh? I'm sorry, armss!

555Ann555 · #10 02-19-2006, 01:00 AM

Wow, guess I'll be going to hell too then!

I understand keeping the peace though! Do you know what a money tree is? I've never heard that expression...

deputysgurl · #11 02-19-2006, 01:11 AM

Ann- The money trees I have seen are normally just a fake tree with no leaves and they put paper clips or clothes pins for people to pin the money to the tree. That is the way I have seen it done.

My first bridal shower invitation does have a list of house colors, where we are registered and how to get ahold of the main host. People have found it very helpful, so im not complaining.

syringa · #12 02-19-2006, 02:41 AM

The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts for her new home. Telling guests that they should bring gift certificates or money makes it into a financial obligation, not a shower. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Complicated Woman · #13 02-19-2006, 04:38 AM

Okay, it gets worse. I actually looked at the little thing again and one of the graphics is of a hand holding money out!!! What the frig???

Kim&Bob2004 · #14 02-19-2006, 05:52 AM

Oh no! that is really bad taste!

whiddle · #15 02-21-2006, 08:27 PM

I like cru5h's idea the best.

I agree it is tacky to list stores that she wants gc's from.

cru5h · #16 02-21-2006, 08:31 PM

Oh, and one more thing - I guess I missed the part about gift certificates. That...makes it worse LOL. In order to offset that, I'd have them create a registry for things at those stores, but only put a couple of things on the list. A lot of stores have gift-certificate as an option to be put on the registry. I know Target is like that, and Target is love, people - say it with me. Target.Is.Love.

Ok back to the issue - I hope you'll come back and let us know how you got around this. It's pretty obvious that this wouldn't be well received by the guests if everyone who has responded thinks it's not a good idea. It'll be interesting to see what the bride does.

ljeagle · #17 02-21-2006, 08:53 PM

I think every one has covered what I was going to say. My self I would never put GC on the invite.

ladedah · #18 02-21-2006, 09:08 PM

CW...I am so sorry, but I find it actually flippin hilarious that people think that is okay!! I can understand putting registry info into a shower invite because that is somewhat the idea of a shower....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that gifts are not required for a wedding invite.

Complicated Woman · #19 02-21-2006, 10:10 PM

Ladedah, I think it's pretty funny, too. Annoying, but funny. The hand holding money on the thing slays me.

feb-bride · #20 02-21-2006, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladedah

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that gifts are not required for a wedding invite.

If you are being invited to the CEREMONY, then there is a gift-in-return "obligation" attached to the invitation. It's "reception-only" invitations that do not carry any gift "obligation."

SuzyBride · #21 02-22-2006, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladedah

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that gifts are not required for a wedding invite.

Where I am from gifts aren't required for a wedding ceremony. But most places they do.

armsss11899 · #22 03-01-2006, 04:53 PM

Thanks to everyone for all the advice. I still have not decided and invitations go out next week. She insisted that the stores they want GC's from be listed and I think it's terribly tacky, but I don't want her to be mad for not going with what she wanted. After all, it is her shower. But someone said it turns it into a financial obligation and I feel awful for doing that to people. They registered at only two stores for a few items and I will stick those cards in the invites, but the website thing is a good idea. I may go with that. Another friend suggested wording "To spare you the burden of hunting down a gift from a bridal registry list, the bride and groom have suggested that gift cards from the following retailers be considered: " At least that way, they are the culprits to blame and not me. I don't know, though, any more advice??

Heather · #23 03-01-2006, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by armsss11899

"To spare you the burden of hunting down a gift from a bridal registry list, the bride and groom have suggested that gift cards from the following retailers be considered: " At least that way, they are the culprits to blame and not me. I don't know, though, any more advice??

First of all, the bride and groom should not be EXPECTING a shower. You're under no obligation to even throw one so the bride should keep her trap shut and be thankful.

However, since you are throwing a shower and you're uncomfortable doing something tacky, definitely use the idea above to put it back on the bride and groom.

michaelsbride · #24 03-01-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzyBride

Where I am from gifts aren't required for a wedding ceremony. But most places they do.

I guess im from the school of thought that a gift is just that... a gift... its something someone picked out for you thinking youd like it or be able to use it... and its something you as the receiver didnt have to pay for... a gift should never be required IMO.

and then to be so specific you ask for gc?? i think its ludicris as other people have already said!!

For my shower, we put the little cards in the invites. And for the wedding invites, we're putting a link to the knot for people to RSVP since our invites will be on a cd rather than paper. On there, there are links to our registry.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #25 03-01-2006, 06:33 PM

I have no issues at all with listing the regestries. I think that's helpful. HOWEVER, if I got an invite that read "To spare you the burden..." I would FLIP!

Why doesn't she just register FOR giftcards and then you can list all of the stores! People will go there to buy something and then will be all

when they get there!

I really do think the "To spare you the burden..." will still reflect poorly on you because you're the one writing that--even if you are being forced to do so against your will! Or, just write it in her mom's and grandma's invite or something so it'll get back to her that you wrote it, but just "forget" to include it in everyone else's!