I just don't know... - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

breezy · #1 02-15-2006, 04:43 AM

We have ALOT non-wedding related on our plates right now.

I am on DF's medical insurance as a domestic partner. (have been since Jan last year) This year they are billing him about $300 a month for my ins. premiums. Definately a big dent in our budget.

The above reason is a motivator for us to move up our wedding. There are a several other motivaing factors, I just hesitate to talk about them in an open forum.

Anyway we are considering getting married this year. If we do I have to really get on the ball.

There are so many factors (all custody, and kid related) that can affect our date, we could have to change it. I am unsure about how that will work... guess I need to do some research with the beach permit people. (would be able to set a solid finalized date by mid-late April) I do not want to get married with out his kids there!!!

IF we get married this year, we won't be able to go on a honeymoon for 2 years.... but we will save about $10,000 in medical deductibles. (there is no additional cost if we are married) So I keep thinking... that is one HECK of a honeymoon

I am feeling the pressure, can anyone predict the future?

No advice, or response needed. I just needed to get some of this stuff out.

Time will tell... we are tossing ideas around and both thinking and sleeping on so many of them!

I do what to know if anyone has done a wedding in under 6 months and if it was everything they dreamed of and wanted?

ljeagle · #2 02-15-2006, 04:51 AM

I'm doing it with 9 months of planning and I think I could of done it if I only had 3 months of planning. I think the major problem I would have in planning it in so little time is money. If you have the money saved I don't see how you couldn't do it.

wynelle · #3 02-15-2006, 04:54 AM

DH planned our wedding in 4 1/2 months and it was wonderful. Encore marriage for both of us, so was a formal but simple service in our church. About 120 people. Heavy appetizers at a historic home, with a 5 piece jazz band for dancing.

Edited to add: the biggest problem could be finding places to hold the wedding and reception, getting invitations printed and mailed out in time for guests to RSVP, getting band and photographer reserved in less than 4 months depending on the time period and location.

We already had a trip planned to Ireland for March 17th. So in November, we decided to go ahead and get married on Saturday the 16th. Luckily for us March isn't a big wedding month here.

SuzyBride · #4 02-15-2006, 04:58 AM

We/I planned in 7 months, but I could have done it in 3 or 4. You can do it!!!

lisa82 · #5 02-15-2006, 05:10 AM

I agree, we've been engaged since July, but I only SERIOUSLY started planning...i dunno, like a month ago if that. So i've given myself about 6 months, but it could EASILY be done in like 4 or 5 months. I only say that because my dress won't be in until May. But if that didn't take so long, i'd say 3 months would be enough depending on how elaborate you want your wedding. The best thing I can think of, would be to decide what you want, get prices on everything, ask how long in advance you need to book these things and just keep a book of all these details. Then you already have everything ready for when you set the date.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #6 02-15-2006, 02:01 PM

Breezy, with my first wedding, we did it in 6 WEEKS!!! (I was pregnant, if you couldn't guess!) And we had EVERYTHING you would expect in an all-out, big affair wedding. However, it was January, so we lucked out because that is notoriously the slowest wedding month, so EVERYTHING we needed was available last-minute. You could definitely do it!

Also, I know of people who have gotten married in a small ceremony and then had the big wedding reception on their one-year anniversary--just for money/time restrictions. Is that something you and Alan would consider?

Best of luck! I'm sure it's stressful working it all out. It sounds like there are a lot of good reasons why it makes sense to move it up!

Steph · #7 02-15-2006, 05:40 PM

Jen I was just going to suggest that! Elope, have a small ceremony, make it legal and when you have the time and finances have a larger gathering.

Marge129 · #8 02-15-2006, 05:53 PM

It took me a year and a half to plan my first wedding... I could've done it in a much shorter time easily.

I'll probably plan my wedding with Jerry within a month of whenever we do it. If you put your mind to it, you can do anything in the time you have.

I have faith in you!

breezy · #9 02-16-2006, 01:23 AM

Thanks so much ladies. I don't really know why the mer thought is stressing me so much, but it is.

The funny thing is that we have made at least 50% of our decision already... I am just letting it overwhelm me because of everything else we have going on. I know in my mind that we can pull it off, but I am still anxious (not 2nd thoughts)

There is no way Alan would elope... he did that his 1st time and then had a large wedding at a later date, and after the wedding his ex told her parents they were already married. (???)

We both are adamant about doing it right, since he really has strong feelings re: the way he did it the 1st time.

I just want a small, intimate wedding, and to do it right the 1st time. Because of his history, his feelings ect, it just would feel wrong *for us* to elope, or not do it 100%. Plus there are a few people that it really wouldn't feel right *to me* if they weren't in attendance. they are such an important part of my life, and they want to share in this event as much as I want them to.

feb-bride · #10 02-16-2006, 05:48 PM

My dad/step-mom planned their wedding in four months. They had the ceremony in a wedding chapel with about 50 or 60 people in attendance. We went to their house for lunch in their backyard. The following day was the "official" reception with about 125 guests (dinner, cake, pictures, dancing).

My sister and her husband planned their wedding in two months. They got married in the wedding chapel at Caesar's Tahoe with about 20 people in attendance. Her husband was INSISTENT that they not elope. He did that the first time around, and he said that when it was all said and done, he didn't feel like he was really married because there was no one from their families to witness it.

So, it CAN be done!

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #11 02-16-2006, 05:53 PM

Yeah, I can understand why based on Alan's "history" he doesn't want to do anything like that again. That's wild that he didn't TELL anyone they were already married, though. Sure it's stressful--in ANY amount of time. I'm sure you can pull it off. I'm just sorry to hear you're dealing with so many OTHER stressors that is just compounding it, though.

breezy · #12 02-16-2006, 06:01 PM

Thanks MTGM... it is life.
We live in cycles, they will ebb and flow.

We just have had no time to really sit and talk.

We are starting to ebb, and once we make a final decision on when to get married (geesh I though we had finalized fall 2008

) that too will be off my plate.

We are celebrating V-Day Sat with a Murder Mystery Dinner. They do dinner
1st so it will give us some time to sit, relax and talk about what we want!! (hmmm, does that make it a D-day instead of a V-Day??)

I think the biggest obsticals (not really that huge) will be getting the beach permit, chair rentals and wireless microphone. The rest will all fall into place (

for am I dreaming?)
A friend lives in a townhouse with a club house that's perfect for the reception. The really great thing is there are no restrictions at the club house, so we can do whatever we want...as long as we clean up!