Invite to reception only - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

pandabear7486 · #1 02-10-2006, 12:57 PM

is it ok to invite certain people to just the reception?

deputysgurl · #2 02-10-2006, 01:06 PM

When I asked this exact same question they told me yes, it is fine. That is what I am doing and it seems to be working ok so far.

Marge129 · #3 02-10-2006, 01:09 PM

Simply put... yes.

pandabear7486 · #4 02-10-2006, 01:09 PM

ok. thanks.

ljeagle · #5 02-10-2006, 05:03 PM

I think the only reason u shouldn't invite people to the ceremony is if there is not enough room.

feb-bride · #6 02-10-2006, 05:07 PM

It is considered acceptable because it's the CEREMONY invitation that has a gift obligation, not the RECEPTION invitation. People who are only invited to the reception do not have a gift obligation.

pandabear7486 · #7 02-11-2006, 02:56 AM

thanks for your input everyone. who knows what we'll end up doing. still got lots of time to plan.

prunella · #8 02-11-2006, 02:40 PM

"It is considered acceptable because it's the CEREMONY invitation that has a gift obligation, not the RECEPTION invitation. People who are only invited to the reception do not have a gift obligation."

How funny...In Italy is exacltly the opposite...One never learns enough!!!!!

Summer_Skye18 · #9 06-15-2006, 06:00 PM

It's ok. Especially if you would like to have a very intimate wedding. Just family and close, close friends.. hmmm.. maybe i'd do that..

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Heather · #10 06-15-2006, 06:47 PM

Yep! It's the other way around (invited to ceremony but not reception) that is considered very bad etiquette.

AngelRoseFyre · #11 07-12-2006, 01:41 AM

I think it should be ok. I just have a couple questions though. What is the reason? (do you want a small intimate wedding, is there not enough room, something else) Is your wedding and your reception on the same day?
I'm just curious.

I had a friend who got married in the woods with just immediate family and then had a reception at her mothers house a few weeks later, where she displayed her wedding album. It was really beautiful.

On the other hand, when my brother gets home from Iraq September he is planning to marry his fiancé in a small JP ceremony (so she can get citizen ship in the state he is transferring to so she can attend school where he is, and to get medical benefits), but they are going to have a second "formal" ceremony the following July for family and friends to attend.

So I guess what I am trying to say, is what ever feels right to you, is what I would go for.

Heather · #12 07-12-2006, 02:03 AM

The original post is from February so I doubt she'll be back to answer your questions. (She hasn't logged in in 3+ months.) I didn't realize that either when summer posted.

AngelRoseFyre · #13 07-12-2006, 05:08 AM

Oh woops. Oh well, I wish her the best!

breezy · #14 07-14-2006, 07:42 PM

I did this... so I have to chime in with a YES it's ok

Complicated Woman · #15 07-14-2006, 08:14 PM

Pandabear actually broke off her engagement, if I remember correctly...but, it is a question that other people ask, so it's probably a good thing to have answers to it!

DragonYoga · #16 07-15-2006, 01:29 AM

Now this is an idea worth looking into... a small intimate wedding but a large reception.... hmm.

555Ann555 · #17 07-15-2006, 11:40 AM

Definately worked for me

But then again it is almost always done that way over here

But Sparklesweetie had her's that way too. In her case it was because the ceremony venue had limited space, but there is no reason that you coulodn't have a more intimate wedding ceremony for other reasons.

I like it that way... You have the peple you love the most witness the ceremony, then all your friends & more distant family join the celebrations with you.

It felt wonderful having such a limited amount of people around us, because we personally knew each & every one, it didn't feel at all over whelming. We only had 40 guests at our actual wedding ceremony.

DragonYoga · #18 07-15-2006, 12:24 PM

HMMMMM..... The more I think about it, the more I like the idea...

weddingadvisor · #19 07-15-2006, 03:54 PM

Actually, I think it's very rude and disrespectful. Why wouldn't you want them to attend the ceremony?

Unless you are having a destination ceremony where you don't want people to have to travel to see you get married, this sounds like a terrible idea.

peckmiranda · #20 07-15-2006, 05:45 PM

I would love to do this because I know my family...all of my mom's friends will have to be invited, and all of my dad's friends will have to be invited, and all of my sisters' friends...yada yada yada...

555Ann555 · #21 07-16-2006, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weddingadvisor

Actually, I think it's very rude and disrespectful. Why wouldn't you want them to attend the ceremony?

Unless you are having a destination ceremony where you don't want people to have to travel to see you get married, this sounds like a terrible idea.

Speaking of people being very rude... Don't hold back huh?

So why do you think it is disrespectful?

If you were close family you would be invited to witness the ceremony. If you weren't close you probably wouldn't be too bothered about seeing the B&G exchange their vows anyway and would just want to join the celebration.

Aside from that sometimes ceremony locations dictate the amount of people who can attend.

weddingadvisor · #22 07-16-2006, 04:56 AM

Well, I know I'm the minority here, but you aren't even giving people a choice. Maybe they want to see you exchange your vows? If you don't know them well enough to give them that chance, why invite them at all?

I'm inviting just close friends and family, and have been able to keep it under 100. Anyone else gets an announcement in the mail after we wed. I wouldn't send someone an invite to the reception only because I would feel that I'm telling them "I don't like you enough to have you witness the ceremony, but I want you to come so I can get a gift."

Just my opinion, but I think that unless you are exchanging vows out of the area or at the local courthouse, this is a bad idea. Just scale the entire thing down and you should be fine.

breezy · #23 07-16-2006, 05:15 AM

We totally scaled our wedding down... we are invited less than 70 people.

However, the city beach only wants apx 15 people there to *witness* the wedding. I'm pushing that by inviting all our brothers, sisters, parents and grandparents (apx 30-35 people).

**My** inviting others to the reception is about liking, loving and respecting them and the love and support they have provided for us in the 5 years leading to our marriage. Our reception is a celebration of our marriage and a party to share our new beginning with others. In NO way is it about gifts, nor are they expected or requested. **WE** are paying to feed and entertain them... how is that rude!!!???

weddingadvisor · #24 07-16-2006, 05:46 AM

Breezy, you have clearly stated one of those times that is understandable b/c of restrictions out of your control.

SuzyBride · #25 07-16-2006, 05:49 AM

I would in no way be offended to recieve an invite to only a reception. I would actually be honored and thrilled to attend. While the ceremony is very special and of course I would be honored to attend that too, I understand that it is sometimes a very intimate thing that the bride and groom only wish to share with family and extremely close friends. A reception is usually a more open atmosphere and a celebration of the couple and their new commitment to each other, also an honor to be invited to IMO.

Let me just say that I am soooo glad that my ceremony site held about 240 and I had plenty of food at the reception.. My wedding was kind of a "the more the merrier" event!