best man in a delima

[ks75]

OK my husband needs help on what is the right thing to do in his situation. He is the best man in his best friends wedding, his little brother is also getting married around the same time, The problem is they are both having wedding parties on the same day. His friends party is about two hours away and his brothers party is here in town. What is the proper thing to do? Should he attend his friends wedding party since he is the best man or go to his brothers? Thanks for any help that anyone can give us.

[NovemberGal]

Ouch, that is a toughie. Are they at the same time? Is there any way to put in an appearance at each even if he doesn't stay for the whole thing?

Also, what kind of party are we talking about--the bachelor party? Is he involved in the planning with either (he's have to go to that one)?

I kind of feel like the best man has a bit of an obligation to be at the groom's bach party, and I think maybe your hubby should talk to his brother about the conflicting time. Or maybe talk to each of them--it's possible one or the other might offer to adjust the time or day so he can attend both. My husband and I both checked in with our "must have" guests for all wedding related parties to make sure the schedule worked for everyone, to the extent possible.

Also, presumably your husband knows these guys well--would one or the other be more likely to not mind if he missed the party, or would one of them be more likely to be very hurt or offended? That could help decide between them as well.

Good luck!