This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by cru5h on 05/01/2005.
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posted by cru5h
I was raised by my mom, dad was...not well, to put it nicely. He died when I was 16, 4 days after our reconcilation. Father-daughter dance...
- I don't have a daddy figure in my life to stand in.
- I don't know if it would be appropriate to dance with the only dad I had, my MOM.
- Skip the dance all together? It's as simple as telling the DJ not to announce a father-daughter dance before hand.
Everyone coming to the wedding knows my situation. They wouldn't be surprised to see me a) dance with my own mom or b) not do the dance at all.
Whatcha think?
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posted by aug05bride
I think it's perfectly fine to dance with your Mom if you want. At my cousin's wedding last year, his bride danced with her dad, then he danced with his mom, then she danced with her mom. Her parents I think were divorced, her mom was extremely closer to her and she wanted to personally honor her mom as well as her dad so she had a special dance with her mom. It was very touching to see. If you want to do that, I think it's great. If you (or your mom) don't want to do it, it's fine to skip it as well. Do whichever you're more comfortable with.
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posted by feb-bride
If you and your mom are comfortable with a mother/daughter dance, then by all means do this. If you and/or your mom are not comfortable with this, then just skip it.
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posted by HeatherR
I debated whether to have this dance as well, but I have two big brothers. They both walked me down the aisle and I danced with my oldest brother. If my other brother would have had a problem with this, I would have danced with my Mom - not even a question. In fact, she was going to walk me down the aisle, until my brothers told me its something they've always wanted to do. Instead, they handed me over to my Mom, and she gave me away to my husband. It was really nice, and everyone was involved.
As you said, your guests will know the circumstances so I'll bet you they would love to see you and your Mom dance together. It's very sweet.
Heather
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posted by syringa
It is fine to skip the dance entirely and it is fine for the groom to skip the dance with his mother if he chooses. It is often less awkward if you do only the bride and groom's first dance and omit the other two.
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posted by swim_a_lot
I understand your situation completely Cru5h, i don't have a father figure in my life that i can have walk me down the aisle or dance with me either, but i do have a brother, he is such a great person, we have been through SO much together and i know that he is always going to be my big brother and always going to be there if i ever need him, there was no other person that could take his place of walking me down the aisle and dancing with me, he was so honored when i asked him to, but i think that your mom giving you away or just dancing with you is a great idea, let your mom know that she is great and she will be honored to have that dance with you.
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posted by cru5h
I immediately knew I wanted my mom to give me away. It just seems totally awkward for me to dance with her. I mean, the woman rarely hugs me even LOL. Thanks for your responses everyone!
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posted by labeadel
I would talk it over with her and see what she thinks. she may think it would be a cool thing, but if she thinks it would be weird for her, then pass on it and don't do a dance at all. I'm sure your guests, knowing you, won't think anything of it.
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posted by sweets731
hey crus5h:
My dad died 3 years ago and I was contemplating what to do about that situation. My brother in law (who has been part of my life for 10 years) is walking me down the aisle. And then my Father in law to be is going to dance with me - I know it's not the same - but maybe it's an idea - I am dancing with him to What a wonderful world - Louis Armstrong - I know it's not the same - believe me - I so miss my dad - but that way - I am gaining an amazing father in law
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posted by cru5h
My FFIL is so unaffectionate, even to his own kids. I'm happy you have a nice one though! I didn't know my dad, so losing him wasn't the hard part. Not getting to know him, and him not getting to know me is what hurt.
We're probably having a brunch instead of a real reception, so it turns out that eliminates the whole dance problem I had...until we change our minds again *growling*
No dad...father-daughter dance?
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