This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by rosefeather on 03/13/2005.
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posted by rosefeather
The last couple of weddings I went to, the couple had a "Dollar Dance". Is this a common thing nowadays? Is ayone here having one or has had one at their wedding? Or is it to tacky? Just curious to know!
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posted by syringa
Dollar dances are controversial. They originated in the traditions of eastern European countries including Poland and Italy and are a part of weddings of those wanting to include their ethnic traditons in their weddings. Today, many couples, usually young 20s and often students, choose to have a money dance at their reception. However, not all guests like them or are willing to participate. One mother recently commented to me that when a DJ they were interviewing said that they do a dollar dance, she told him that they would not auction off the bride and she would find another DJ. Before including a dollar dance, also called a money dance, in a wedding, the couple needs to be sure that their family and friends would not be offended to be asked to give money at a wedding. Younger couples seem to be more accepting of such a dance than their parents and older adults in general.
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posted by bebe0315
My personal opinion on the matter is that unless it is done as a cultural wedding tradition, I find it kinda tacky. But I do see that it is fun for younger couples. I have never been offended when attending a wedding with a money dance, but I will personally not be doing one.
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posted by wedbyjean
It's a cultural and a regional thing. I grew up in Northern Ohio, my husband in Southwest Ohio. A Dollar Dance (as well as the Hokey-Pokey, the Chicken Dance, and serving cabbage rolls on the buffet) are all common things to me and my family. I had to explain what these things were to my husband (married over 16 years BTW). We chose which we wanted to include and which we didn't.
My point -- those who aren't familiar with these may think they are tacky and dumb, those who are familiar with them will wonder why they aren't being done. Who's right and who's wrong? Both are right and neither are wrong, but that doesn't matter. We can't read peoples minds, so we can't say we know their reasoning for having or not having something in particular at their wedding. And a couple shouldn't have to pour over every single choice they make for their wedding worrying about if anyone won't like it or will disapprove.
Jean Neuhart
Weddings From The Heart
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posted by wynelle
Big controversy here. I am personally not in favor of having guests fund your wedding, whether it be a cash bar or a dollar dance. That said, IF I attended a wedding where the bride/groom families were strongly cultural, then I wouldn't be offended. If it wasn't a cultural but a cash thing, I would be offended. My husband's younger daughter informed him she was having such a dance, because her friends said she could raise some spending money for the honeymoon. He strongly objected as did her mother and the couple dropped the issue. Where we live, it would have been perceived as a cash grab.
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posted by SuzyBride
What is a dollar dance?
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posted by feb-bride
A dollar dance is when guests pay to dance with the bride and groom. It's often announced nowadays as a "honeymoon dance."
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posted by roseprincess
I agree with wynelle... my DH and I both agreed that we didn't like the dollar dance or garter toss "traditions", so we didn't have them in our wedding. We only chose to incorporate traditions into our festivities that we found meaningful and culturally rich. I was STARTLED, tho, by the amount of people who came up to me at the reception and tried to convince me that I had to have a dollar dance! People really need to learn to back off and let the bride and groom make these decisions...
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posted by syringa
Today couples are quite outspoken about raising money via the dance rather than doing it because it is a part of their culture. I too would find it acceptable if it were a part of the couple's culture, but doing it for the money is what is controversial, and unfortunately, increasingly common. I just met with a young lawyer this afternoon and she is planning a money dance at her wedding this summer!
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posted by SuzyBride
Ohhh... That is tacky! Guests actually bid to dance with the B & G? That seems so odd.
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posted by suechick
I am so not sold on this idea!
That is like begging the guests for cash
*sue
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posted by feb-bride
Nobody bids. That's not how it works. You are thinking about the war dance scene from Gone with the Wind.
The way a money dance works is that the DJ announces the dance. If people want to participate, they simply stand in line. Each person gets a chance to dance with the bride or groom (based on whose line they stand in).
It's not like the DJ becomes an auctioneer!
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posted by wedbyjean
The Dollar Dance should not be done with the intent to fund any portion of the wedding or the honeymoon. It is more of a "Hey, Let's send the happy couple off with a little extra something" frame of mind. Keep in mind that this originated years ago when the bride and groom entered a life together with basically nothing.
I agree that it should not be done if the intent is just to get more cash. However, if done just for fun, and the guests are familiar with it (or even expect to see it done), then go ahead.
Jean
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posted by HeatherR
In my hometown (very northern NY) it's a very common thing. I've never attended wedding there without one happening. I was always told it's to give the guests a few minutes of alone time with the bride and groom. However it's not something my husband and I wanted to do so we skipped it. We also didn't get married there. Many people from my hometown asked when we were going to do it. When I explained we're not - they were pretty suprised.
I do agree with Jean though. If it's something guests will probably expect, and it's done in fun to send the couple off with a few extra bucks - go for it. However if you're uncomfortable with it & think its tacky, don't do it.
Heather
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posted by bebe0315
OMG, great - now I have visions of one of those fast talking auctioneers coming out for the 'dollar dance' Too funny... Now THAT I might actually pay to see.
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posted by suechick
Heather, I am in Western NY, where are you from??
*sue
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posted by HeatherR
I'm originally from Massena and live in Albany now... I've been here for seven years.
Heather
Dollar Dance
Haha! Ok glad you cleared that up for me feb. I was really confused! I just thought people were crazy! 
I could just see an auctioneer with the little wooden hammer, "Sold for $10 to the crazy old man in the corner!"
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