Would it be strange? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

munchkin · #1 11-24-2005, 06:59 AM

Would it be strange to invite my ex's sister to my wedding? She and I work together and we're becoming friends. She doesn't know I dated her brother and I don't plan on telling her until she figures it out for herself. Her brother and I dated more than 5 years ago, but it was a horrible split and he now hates me. Should that preclude her from being invited?

Marge129 · #2 11-24-2005, 01:28 PM

I don't see how it would be a problem. Like you said, she doesn't even know you DATED her brother. She may not ever figure it out, and if she does, she'll probably just find it funny. I'd say invite her. What does your FH think?

NovemberGal · #3 11-24-2005, 05:11 PM

Is this one of those small world things where you dated a guy and broke up without having met the sister, and years down the road find out you're working with her?

Anyway, I'd invite her. You might, though, consider mentioning your dating history to her. I think I'd feel a little weird if I was talking to my brother and said, oh, I'm going to Jane Doe's wedding this weekend, she's a friend from work, and my brother said, OMG, I used to date her, what a b!tch!! I think I'd wonder why Jane had never mentioned it to me.

But maybe not.

555Ann555 · #4 11-25-2005, 01:06 AM

How long have you been working with her? Are you really close?

I'd find it a bit strange if I was in her position & found out later, but it wouldn't stop me being friends with you or going to your wedding... Did it take you a while to realise you'd dated her brother or have you always known?

bebe · #5 11-26-2005, 04:09 AM

I am still close friends with my ex's sister AND his mom, even though you can actually see hate seething from him at the mere mention of my name. DH and I went to the sisters wedding last year, and the sister and the mom were both invited to our wedding. The only person who has a problem with the situation is the ex, and who really gives a rat's about that anyway. (where is the evil smiley when you need it?) If you want to invite her, you should. But I do think that in your situation, you may want to mention that you went out with her bro a million years ago. I just think that if she finds out eventually, she will feel wierd that you knew who she was, but you never mentioned it. It shouldn't be a big deal - but if it IS a big deal to her and she reacts badly, it will be better for you to have told her than for her to have just somehow found out.

maroki13 · #6 11-26-2005, 04:54 AM

I agree it would be fine to invite her. I would, however, mention to your ex's sister that the two of you used to be together. Better to mention it now rather than her find out at a *probably* awkward time in the future.

My ex's parents are good friends of my parents, so they are on our guest list. At first I thought it would be a little strange, but FH doesn't care so I guess I don't.

munchkin · #7 11-26-2005, 05:15 AM

I've known since she started working with me about 7 months ago. She doesn't know, and I'm kind of nervous about telling her. It was 8 years ago, so she was young (she's 18 now) when we dated, and I look quite different now than I used to. I'll probably tell her sometime in the next couple weeks.
She is becoming a good friend at work, so I would really like to invite her.

whiddle · #8 11-26-2005, 05:45 PM

I don't think it would be strange but I would definetly tell her first.

Marrying_the_Good_Husband · #9 11-28-2005, 12:00 AM

I agree. If you're close enough friends with her to invite her to the wedding, you should tell her you dated her brother. As you said, it was a LONG time ago. I'm sure her brother would be over any anger towards you at this point. And if she finds out you lied by omission about it at some point in the future, it would become a much bigger issue than if you just told her something like, Wait a minute, are you related to John Smith? It just dawned on me that like a lifetime ago I dated John and he had a little sister named Mary!