This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by lilhoney1976 on 09/09/2004.
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posted by lilhoney1976
Would someone please explain to me exactly how the dollar dance goes? I understand the main concept but how is it done?
P.S. My fiance'was making jokes the other night about it being the origin of strippers in strip clubs.I told him I was thinking about doing it and he started laughing and saying,"Do you need me to buy you a pole to spin around on too? He got up and started dancing like he was a girl(making fun of me)I almost died laughing! He's an idiot(but he's my idiot).He thinks the idea is ridiculous. Is it really? I 'm not really doing it so much for the money because what actully matters is that the guests show up. I'm really just doing it for fun.(the extra money would be nice too though
)
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posted by catina
Unless it's tradition in your culture or area, it's considered tacky by most people. Money tree is also a nono, unless it's a part of your culture.
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posted by wynelle
In certain cultures (where the cultural group still participates in these activities), at some point in the reception, the bride either pts on a special apron with big pockets, or has a special bag. Men then dance with the bride and pay a "bridal price." This is to give the bride a little "personal money", since when these traditions began, women didn't work and had to ask their husbands for "pin money." With these gifts, the bride has a small stash of "her" money to spend a she needed or wanted.
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posted by Marge129
At my wedding, the BM's collected the money and then the people came and danced with either me or my husband.
Margie
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posted by Just Engaged!
My opinion is that money dances are simply tacky. They always make me uncomfortable as a guest, b/c the DJ is usually pushing people to go up there and dance - (and give money, of course!)
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posted by Marge129
I think it really depends on where you are if it's considered tacky or not. I've NEVER been to a wedding where there was not a dollar dance. It's very common where I come from.... but I guess I'm just from a tacky area.
Margie
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posted by feb-bride
I guess I'm tacky, too! We had one, and the DJ certainly didn't have to force anyone to participate. In fact, they had to play an extra song because so many people were lined up to dance with me and my husband.
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posted by catina
I certainly don't think you're tacky for doing something that is very common in your area or culture. What's tacky is when someone wants to do something they've heard of, and has no idea how it's done. Obviously, not a part of their culture or area. Sorry, if I offended anyone, but if my daughter were to do the dollar dance at her wedding, when she nor I, nor most of our family or friends have been to weddings with that, it would be considered a tacky grab for money. I have never been to wedding that has it and quite frankly would be taken aback to see it done. As I said earlier, unless it's a part of your culture or is common in your area, most people would consider it tacky. Just as if all the weddings you've been to are open bar and you then go to one that has a cash bar, you would probably consider that to be tacky as well, unless it's a part of your culture or area. Again, it's not a slight against anyone.
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posted by munchkin
I agree with Catina. I've never seen one done, and would find it tacky to go to a wedding where the guests are expected to pay to dance with the newlyweds.
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posted by feb-bride
Maybe it's just because I had one, but I don't quite equate a money dance with a cash bar. No one is forcing anyone to participate in the money dance, but you are forcing guests to shell out cash if they have to pay to quench their thirst.
Oh, wait. This isn't a debate on cash bars. We can save that for another post!
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posted by HeatherR
lol Feb!
Where I'm from, it's done often- at every wedding I have ever attended. We did not do it at ours b/c I think it's tacky.
Some people don't think it's tacky however, and look at it another way. It can also be a minute or so to spend time with the bride and groom, even for a minute. That's how it's viewed in the community in which I grew up.
Heather
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posted by Kanona
With "Tradition" and many lifestyle changes taking place, how do we know who's right and who's wrong, what's proper and what's not. I'm really learning a lot as I plan my wedding... from the internet, pre-brides/post-brides, event planners, wedding consultants, anyone who wants to give an opinion, and of course, you WONDERFUL ladies.
I've heard so many different things about this one topic or that one, and sometimes it became overwhelming. In the end, you wind up doing what you want to do anyway (I hope)....I guess I'm saying all that to say...if you want to do a "Money Dance", do it. It could turn out to be the highlight of the evening, but if you find that noone is really getting into it, then of course, you should nix it. You definitely DO NOT want to offend anyone and have them wishing they never came, BUT if you have a "FUN" group of folks who gets a kick out of stuff like that.....LIVE IT UP
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posted by Just Engaged!
Feb-bride, Did I miss something? When did we start talking about cash bars?
Oh well...
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posted by HeatherR
lol, Just, Catina used a cash bar as an example.
I just re-read my post and instead of editing, I'll try to say what I meant. I don't think that dollar dances are tacky, but my husband's family does. (I meant to type "hubby" and not "I". They are never done where he is from, and would be considered a grab for cash.
Kanona, I can't agree with you more. It's great to have input, advice and ideas, but the bottom line is - do what you want. Short of breaching some horrible horrible etiquette rule, anything is pretty much open to interpretation. (Examples- I did not have a wedding cake or throw the bouquet, and I wore sneakers under my wedding dress.)
Heather
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posted by Marge129
H- Did you wear sneakers the whole time? LOL
Kanona, I also agree... do what YOU want. F#$% everyone else!
Margie
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posted by HeatherR
Yep! I bought brand new white sketchers and wore them the whole time. One, because I have 3 herniated discs and it's very hard for me to wear shoes/heels, and two b/c I simply wanted to be comfortable.
A friend of Mike's father came up to me while I was dancing and asked if it was true. Their table had a $50 bet going whether I had them on or not. All the women said "no-way!" but the men won.
Heather
Dollar Dance?
It could be the most perfectly planned day (down to the tee) and someone WILL find fault, trust me. So hey, you might as well have some fun in the midst of it all 
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