Bouquet Toss, etc...(naming tables)

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This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by HeatherR on 01/21/2004 .

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posted by HeatherR:

Morning! I'm not a fan of "traditional" activities at a reception. For example, we're not going to have a wedding cake. Both of us hate cake and the barbaric tradition of smashing it into each other's face. I'm not a huge fan of the bouquet toss either, and in the past, my friends and I have run from trying to catch it. I just read that some brides will give the bouquet to the couple in attendance who have been married the longest. Has anyone else seen or done something similar?

Heather

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posted by Holly

I haven't seen or done this myself, but it is a sweet gesture.

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posted by feb-bride

I've heard of this. You can have an anniversary dance. Ask ALL of the married couples to get out on the dance floor. At some point in the song, the DJ asks those who have been married for at least 5 years to stay on the dance floor. You can do this in increments of 5 years until you have one couple left on the dance floor. This is the couple who receives the bouquet.

Oh, you don't have to smash cake in each other's faces just because you have a wedding cake. My husband and I had a wedding cake, and we did not smash cake in each other's faces.

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posted by HeatherR

Great idea Feb-Bride... thanks.

As for the cake, neither one of us can stand it and we would rather put the $$ and reception time to better use. (Not trying to offend those that have cakes, it's just not for us.)

Heather

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posted by Ekaaj

I have seen the "anniversary dance". Usually, the DJ has the couple that has been married the longest give the bride and groom a piece of advice on how to stay happily married. You can also give them the bouquet if you wish!
I didn't have the traditional bouquet toss, either, (where the single women line up on the dance floor). Instead, I tossed my bouquet to the crowd just before we got into the limo. It was fun to do it that way!
That's fine if you don't want cake. Feb-bride is right, though - you don't have to smash it into each other's faces. My husband and I didn't smash it either. Some people think it's funny to do that, but I think it shows a lack of respect for your spouse.

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posted by HeatherR

That's a great idea too Ekaaj. Thanks!

Heather

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posted by feb-bride

Heather - Are you going to at least provide some sort of dessert at your reception? I think guests come to expect it. You could have cookies or even cheesecake. I think cheesecake would be elegant.

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posted by HeatherR

Absolutely- The dinner menu we chose comes with a chocolate souflette with strawberries. At the bar, there will be chocolate cups with a little liquor in them. (Those flavored things with kaluha, etc..)

We are also having a desert table set up about an hour or so after dinner for guests to pick through. There will be fruit, Italian pastries, chocolate mousse, cheesecake (have to have cheesecake), chocolate fondu and strawberry shortcake.


Heather

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posted by TheaterDiva1

I also hate the idea of smashing the cake in one's face - I just think it's stupid. As for the bouquet, I was at a wedding where the bride divided her bouquet among six couples in the room (guests, a BM, etc.) who were engaged and will be married within the year.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Heather -- You've had your wedding already, right? What did you end up doing with the bouquet? We aren't doing most of the traditional wedding activities either (first dance, garter toss, bouquet toss, etc). Although we are doing cake because... mmm I love cake, can't get enough of it, and we PROMISED not to smash each other's face with it.

cristin

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posted by HeatherR

Yep- April 17th...

We did not do the bouquet toss (or the cake, or the garter toss.) We let our DJ know ahead of time that we wanted a dance where all married couple get on the floor to dance, and then did as Feb-bride said. The couple on the dance floor the longest had been married 55 years!

All of my singles friends thanked me, lol... and the lady who rec'd the bouqet gave me the biggest hug of the day.

Also- I am still getting E-mails & phone calls from people telling me it was the best wedding they have ever been to. I've even rec'd thank you cards for my thank you cards!

This is just my opinion, but I think wedding guests are getting tired of the "traditional" wedding scene. They want to see something different and unique.

(We also didn't have table numbers, instead I stole an idea from someone here and purchased frames that had a story in them about a special place for Mike and I.)

We didn't give away a centerpiece- we used the facility silver candlelabra, though everyone did get a favor. We did NOT do the Chicken Dance, Macarena or Electric Slide.

We did have a "dance," and it was Thank You by Led Zepplin, it was playing the night we met.

Heather

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posted by SkyeCPHT

HEY! THAT WAS MY IDEA FOR THE TABLE NAMES! lol No way! I'm just beginning to assemble my "centerpieces" for the table names, what a daunting process. Our favors are personalized M&M's .. they are so cute! They have our names, our wedding date, and "Meant To Be". And they're in our colors too. I know what you mean about the traditional wedding activities, when I worked as a wedding photographer's assistant, every single wedding started to look like every other one after a while. So we're striving to be different. We're doing different-ish favors, different-ish table numbers (names), and our reception is just going to be a very nice dinner at a very fancy restaurant. No dancing, so that saves me from having to see my mother grooving to the macarena and the chicken dance and the electric slide and every other possible dance she could to do embarrass me -- including her special, "Beth's Jungle Boogie". So yeah. I'm glad we're not doing the dancing. Now, since you stole my idea about the table names <lol>, I might steal your bouquet idea. I'll have to go about finding out how long everyone has been married though... hmm...

cristin

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posted by HeatherR

I thought it was you, I wasn't sure though, lol... Thank you!! Everyone thought it was the sweetest idea in the world but I gave credit where it was due- not by name, but I did say I got the idea from Bliss.

You don't have to find out how long everyone has been married- if you're not having dancing or music, ask the married couples to stand. Ask those who have been married 5 years or less to sit, and so on and so on.

That should work okay do you think?

I know what you mean about the table names... maybe some of mine can help you in return for the great idea.

Head Table- Where we were engaged and a description of the proposal.

Mike's Family Table- Name of my hometown and a description of the area I found on the internet.

My Family Table- Name of Mike's hometown and a description.

Table- Place we had lunch on the day we were engaged, and where we had our rehersal dinner. (My 2nd family table)

Table- City where we had spent New Years Eve twice. (Montreal) (I sat some of the friends who were with us here.)

Table- City where we had vacationed together for the first time. (Long Beach Island)

Table- City where we had went to see Howard Stern show & spent the weekend gambling. (Atlantic City) (Sat our gambling friends here, lol)

Table- Our favorite bar/hang out. (Madison Grille)(Sat the owner of the bar and our drinking friends here.)

Table- Mike's favorite restaurant while growing up (Patsy's).

That's all we needed as we had 30 people at our head table... (I know, yikes!)

Obviously the names won't apply, but maybe you can use some of the same concepts? Let me know, I still have the Word document that I typed them all in if you would like it.

Heather

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posted by SkyeCPHT

lol No need to give credit honey. I actually got the idea out of a wedding magazine -- it was an InStyle issue I think. I'm glad they all liked the idea though! And whoa nellie 30 people at your head table? And I thought I was going overboard with 13!! I don't need too many tables, but here's what I've got so far (I used to be very creative but somehow lost that touch along the years...)

Head table -- "Six Years Together" table. This table will have a picture of us, and a scrapbook full of things like letters, cards, poems, movie ticket stubs, Broadway ticket stubs, etc. I figure that's enough for people to look at lol

My Family's Table -- "Philadelphia Table". This will have pix of us around the city, at the places where we met, first kissed, and got engaged. And a story with each pic.

His Family's Table -- "New Zealand Table". Same idea as the Philadelphia table. Although I liked your idea about switching the places so that where we're from is on opposite tables. I might steal that.

Friends/Coworkers Table -- "Beach Table". Our favorite vacation spot, any beach, especially OCMD. So this will have like beach tags from OCNJ, pictures, etc.

Family Friends Table -- "Blue Horizon Table" OR "Roseland Ballroom Table". Haven't decided yet. We met at the Blue Horizon in Philly but our first "date" (if you can even call it that) was at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC. I just need to figure out which place I have more pictures and momentos from.

So yeah those are all my tables. We don't need a lot of tables because some of the tables will be long rectangular tables that seat like 16 or something.

Your tables all sound so cute! Your guests must have loved to be included like that, you know?

cristin

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posted by TheaterDiva1

We had gotten that idea from a reception place in a vineyard that named each table after a type of wine (the Merlot table, the Chardonnay table, etc.) We picked Long Island beaches (to go with our beach theme, plus we are on Long Island). We'll have our own table, which will be Jones Beach since that's where we usually like to go. My mother asked that our family table be Point Lookout, since that was the town beach where she grew up.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

That's a great way to keep with your theme! Good idea TheaterDiva!

cristin

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posted by HeatherR

Hey Theater, my husband is from Long Island- East Northport to be exact. (Have you ever been to Northport Harbor? The mosquitos there are bigger than my cat!)

Yep! 30 people. We had 7 on each side and we had their significant others sit with them plus the officiant (good friend) and his girlfriend- also a good friend. My Matron of Honor (older sister) opted for the family table. We didn't have children so we didn't have to worry about kids sitting with parents, etc... Here's a pic of how it was set up... kind of in the middle of people: franklinplaza.com

Heather

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posted by SkyeCPHT

Wow that place looks gorgeous! I told my mom about the give-the-bouquet idea. She thought it was a great idea so I think we're going to do that. And now, come to think of it, I think my parents will be the ones there who have been married the longest! There's like no marriages left on my fiance's side of the family...

cristin