When do you take pictures?

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This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by MernwenAncalime on 04/01/2004.

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posted by MernwenAncalime

Hi, I'm new here, and planning to get married soon. I have a question about receptions. When do you usually take pictures during the reception? Ofcourse I want pictures to remember this special occasion, but I worry that taking pictures will take too long. I've heard of people who've spent an hour on pictures. I think our role at the reception should be to entertain guests, not ignore them. How can this be handled?

I also have another question. Are people going to wait for us to leave before they leave the reception, or is that an old custom? I am from a different culture, and in my culture it would be considered rude for the hosts to leave before the last guest. Is there a poite way to say, you can go if you want to?

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posted by catina

First, welcome and congratulations!
Pictures are usually taken after the ceremony for about an hour or so. Some can be taken at the reception, but generally the photographer will do a couple of "set up" shots. Fake cake cutting, fake first dance etc. You can however, have the photographer stay for an hour or so, and take candid shots of speeches, the guests etc. Or, you can rely on family and friends for the candid shots. We have several excellent phographers in our family, that always bring their cameras and take the candid shots. For my daughter's wedding, we are having the photographer take a few candid shots of the guests during the cocktail hour (while my daughter is freshening up) and then they'll do a fake cake cutting and fake first dance before the guests enter the reception. We also have disposable cameras for the guest to use (included with our dinner price). If get any back great, if not, we'll have lots of other photos!

The weddings I've been to, the guests leave when they feel they need to leave. Some stay til the bitter end, some leave when the loud dance music starts! Sometimes the bride and groom leave about an hour before the end with some sort of traditional fanfare and sometimes they stay till the bitter end and then go to where they're staying for the night and have an after party. It's very felxible these days.

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posted by Holly

Hi,

Catina's right -- most of the posed pictures are taken in-between the ceremony and reception. I don't think that reception photos tend to be that intrusive -- the photographer generally takes photos of special dances, cake-cutting, bouquet toss, sometimes the speeches and guests having fun -- basically very little that needs to be posed for, more just-as-it-happens stuff. I have known a couple of weddings to do extended family portraits at the wedding reception. These were done while the party was well under way, so people were dancing and having fun. Talk to your photographer if you are concerned about this.

About people leaving -- again, it depends on the guests. Some leave VERY early on, and other do want to stay right to the end. I think most people want to stay for the cake cutting, so if you push that back to almost the end of the reception, you'll get a lot of people staying for quite a long time.

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posted by 6amandaf6

We took about 15 minutes of family photos at the church, then 1 1/2 hours of photos with me and my husband, and the bridal party while the guests were at the reception place having drinks and appetisers. Our photographer stayed for about another hour at the reception taking shots of guests and speeches etc but none of them were posed. We really didnt notice him there. I would say take about an hour for photos definitely as its a nice way to spend some time with your new husband away from everyone and relax after the ceremony a bit. We enjoyed the photos so much. And they're all you'll have left after the day is over so make the most if it.

Good luck!

Amanda

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posted by MernwenAncalime

Hi everybody, thanks so much for the welcome and for your answers. I had not yet contacted a professional photographer. I am new to this wedding business, and I'm still trying to figure things out before contacting any professionals. I didn't realise that most of the pictures people take are posed. I don't think I'll do that. Instead, maybe I could get a few people to videotape the important parts with a digital video camera. With some computer work, we should be able to get our pictures from there.

Thanks!

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posted by Holly

Hi again!

I just wanted to add -- if you are planning on having a professional photographer, I would suggest finding and interviewing some very soon. I'm not sure when you're getting married, but if you are planning to have a Saturday wedding, it could be quite challenging to find a photographer that's not booked up, and who fits all of your needs. I searched for a photographer about 6 months before the wedding, and at that point several were already booked up.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

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posted by feb-bride

I wouldn't rely solely on a digital videotape to get all of your pictures. You might at least want a photographer for the ceremony.

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posted by MernwenAncalime

Those are good points, Feb-Bride and Holly. I'm taking some time to consider the situation. I was also considering asking some of my friends to take the photographs. The idea of hiring so many strangers for different parts of the wedding does not appeal to me. I'm generally a do-it-yourself kind of person. I think it's just that I balk at the idea that you have to be a professional in a field to be able to do it well.

I still have some time to think about it though. We have even begun to finalize our plans. We're still at the brainstorming stage.

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posted by wedgirl

Even if you are a "do-it-yourselfer", you might want to seriously consider a professional for at least some of your photographs. Remember, this is a "once-in-a-lifetime" event, and you may not get quality photos by having friends take them. Wedding photography is different than photography at, say, someone's birthday party. It's worth it to get a professional for at least the ceremony portion.

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posted by MernwenAncalime

After some discussion, we've decided to look into professional photography for the ceremony. For the reception, it's not necessary, since most of us in my family love photography and practice it as a hobby. Also, for the reception, we don't care as much about getting any specific photographs, as long as there are pictures of the evening.

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posted by feb-bride

If you are going to "do-it-yourself" at the reception, I recommend having a "game plan" before your reception. For example, if you have several people in your family who will be taking pictures at the reception, assign them 30-minute time blocks. Otherwise, you could end up with tons of pictures of the first hour and nothing for the rest of the evening.

One of my cousins decided to just use friends to photograph her entire wedding (ceremony and reception). As a result, she didn't end up with very many good pictures. Both people taking pictures were good on their own, but they didn't complement each other very well. As a result, in each picture, half of us were looking at one camera, and the other half of us were looking at the other camera.

Also, because the photographers weren't professionals, some of the "important" pictures were missed. For example, there are no extended family pictures because no one thought about it. There were no pictures taken of the bride and groom with their parents. There was no picture taken of the bride and groom with the person who officiated their wedding.

When I got married, we spent about 35 to 40 minutes taking pictures before the wedding (we did all of the pictures we could take without me and my husband seeing each other). After the ceremony, we spent about 30 minutes at the ceremony site taking pictures (entire wedding party, bride/groom, bride/groom with parents). At the reception site, the only "posed" pictures taken were one of my extended family (on my mom's side and on my dad's side) and of my dad and his siblings (there are 10 of them). The amount of time spent on posed pictures at the reception site was less than 20 minutes.

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posted by Holly

It really does depend on the people taking the photos. We had a professional photographer for our ceremony and friends/relatives taking photos during the reception. What I did is I assigned a couple of people to take photos of certain things (ie, cake cutting). They turned out well and I have no regrets about not having a professional photographer.

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posted by syringa

Today, most couples take all of the pictures before the ceremony. The bride and groom have a few minutes alone together for the "first look" before the photos begin. Taking the photos early allows everyone to look their best for the picures and it allows the couple to get to the reception quickly and spend their time with their guests. The photographer is then at the reception to capture the cake cutting, toasts, first dances, and anything else that is planned within the photographer's available time. I recommend to my clients that they purchase a 5 hour package, which is standard in my area, particularly if the ceremony and reception are held in two different locations.

A current trend is all day photo coverage. The photographer is with the bride all day - at the hairdresser's, in her dressing room, and right up until the couple leaves at the end of the evening. This costs about 1.5 times the amount of 5 hours of coverage and I can't imagine anyone actually buying pictures of the bride in her underwear to put in the wedding album, but many couples like the option of having a photographer available for any and all pictures.

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posted by wedgirl

I disagree with Syringa. None of my friends who were married took all of the photos before the wedding. IMO, that's a bad recommendation. Even if the bride and groom have a few minutes "alone" together before the ceremony, I think it ruins the surprise as the bride walks down the aisle. A friend of mine recently got married, and the look on her husband's face as she walked down the aisle was just incredible! There's no reason why you can't do the bride and groom photos after the ceremony. It's a special day for the bride and groom, after all! Also, when I got married, my photographer was with us when my BMs helped me put on my dress, and I am putting those photos in my album. There are some very sweet photos of me stepping into my dress and shoes, etc.; it's not as if I was sitting around "in my underwear" as Syringa said. MernWen, definitely have someone take photos of you getting ready, even if it's just a friend.

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posted by HeatherR

Just my two cents! We have a photographer all day... I really want photos of myself and my girls getting ready, etc... and of my fiance and his guys getting ready. I'm going to be wearing incredibly sexy underwear under my dress so I may just have a picture or two of that, hee hee. We didn't pay extra for this, this is simply how she does it.

We're having our 'together pictures' right after the ceremony, for 30-45 minutes tops. To ensure this goes smoothly, I made a list of the combination of pictures and gave it to the photographer. I also asked my Mom and my FMIL if there were specific pictures they wanted, and included that in the list. I put them in charge of rounding everyone up.

After that, we are joining our guests at the cocktail hour (it's actually an hour and a half.) We want most of our pictures to be of us and our friends and family having a good time. I would rather see that than a slew of posed photos...

However everyone's tastes are different. I would definitely have a professional for the posed photos, and I think Feb-bride's idea is a good one- assign time slots or even specific events to one person so your entire night is covered.

Heather

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posted by catina

I agree, that the bride and groom shouldn't be seen together before the ceremony. But, that's just my personal feeling. I know it is done, but I don't think as frequently has Syringa says. At least where we are. My daughter's photographer is similar to Heather. She has an assistant so when she's at the house taking pics of my daugher, us, our home, her getting ready etc, the assistant will head over to the church about 1/2 hour before us and take pics of the guys, guests, the church etc. Then during the ceremony they'll have the two of them taking candid shots. After the ceremony, we head of to a nearby park for more photos of the wedding party and family, but the assistant will lag behind at the church for more candid guest shots, then join us at the park. Then we all head up to the reception, where again the assistant will take candid shots of the guests during the cocktail hour while the photographer is doing the "Posed" cake cutting, first dance and more family, bride and groom shots. They will then stay for the first protion of the dinner. The grand entrance, Grace, a couple of speeches and then they're gone. After that, we're relying on certain family members that always do photos on their own. Which they then give to the bride and groom as a little "gift".
It's a must do to have a list of the photos you really want. Otherwise, they may not be taken!

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posted by Holly

I know of only one couple who did most of their posed photos together before the ceremony. I'm not sure if this made a difference, but they were both married before. I personally wouldn't have wanted to see my husband prior to the ceremony... I think it would have taken away from the anticipation a bit.

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posted by feb-bride

Oh, and if you do put together a list of "must-have" pictures, make certain that you talk to your photographer in advance regarding your list. I had a list, and I even tried giving it to the photographer a few weeks before the wedding, but she didn't want my list. She said that I could just tell her on that day. Well, when the day came, she got all huffy anytime I asked her to take one of the pictures on my list (unless it was a pose that she normally takes). As a result, I didn't get some of the pictures I wanted, even though I hired a "professional."

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posted by MernwenAncalime

It's really helpful for me to read all the discussion here. Feb-bride, you make a good point about needing to have a game plan. We've talked to two of our friends who will be photographing about certain moments that are very important to us, and they'll be ready to capture them. They will also be taking pictures of us and of the guests during the rest of the reception.
I like the idea of an all day photo diary. It might be nice to have pictures of me with my friends and my fiance with his friends before the wedding.

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posted by Tonysgirl

As a former event coordinator and bride to be, its important that you take the time to value whats really important to you. Its seems that you really want to create a familiar and intimate atmosphere on your wedding day. Though I am not suggesting that you don't ask friends & family to shoot your photos, keep in mind that by asking someone(s)to shoot your photos they are not just simply a guest anymore but now your photographer. Though some may relish the idea others may feel a slight sense of pressure. If you want to use the photos you receive from family and friends to make a "day in the life" diary I think that is a great idea. Yet don't underestimate the ability of a true professional. Meet and interview some photographers in your area, ask for references and follow up with them, get a feel for their work. I have seen instances professionaly where the bride has aked a friend who happens to be a great amateur photographer, unfortunately some things went wrong with the development of the film, which resulted in not having a wedding album. The best way to have that intimate close knit affair is to let the pros do their job so that you can experience all your guests, and they you, worry free.

As for when to take the photos there is no set answer. Its all a matter of personal choice. Taking your photos before the wedding is perfectly okay. Its not uncommon for the bride and groom to see each other before the traditional processional, for example in the Jewish faith where the bride and groom sign the ketubah before the traditional ceremony procession. I personally will be taking my photos before the ceremony with my family and groom (1st time marriage for both by the way). Consider first what the distance will be from the ceremony site, and reception, will you be having a cocktail hour, and what are your must have photos? There is nothing worse than waiting for the bride & groom for an hour or more because they are out taking photos. Its simply rude. I always recommend no more than 1 hour, preferably 30 minutes. So when selecting a ceremony/reception site keep that it mind. If you are not having a cocktail party by no means should you have guests waiting to eat before your long arrival. If possible select a site that is picturesque where you can take photos on the grounds which would save you travel time. And more importantly you can spend time with your guests. You are so right when you say that your role is to entertain not to ignore your guests. You are the hostess for this momentous event. Would you invite someone to your home,leave for an hour, and then come back and serve them dinner?

Last you mentioned using the still from a digital camera, my husband-to-be does video production and though it can be done its not necessarily the best route to take. There is an art to both mediums, and one does not replace the other. Letting a professional work frees you, and your guests to truly enjoy the occassion. Whatever you decide good luck to you.

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posted by SkyeCPHT

I used to work for a wedding photographer (as an assistant) and I'll be the first to tell you, don't let your photographer run your day. The photographer I worked for used to spend HOURS photographing the couples, and I know they probably ordered that many shots and all, but I would always think, why don't they just enjoy their reception? She would do the same thing -- pose the couple at the cake, pose them here, pose them there ... I started to think it would just be better if she just hung around and took random shots. For example, don't stop the couple before they cut their cake, just take the picture. Let them live their day. I've hired a photographer who'll be taking a photojournalistic approach, meaning she will shoot pictures -- she said "You won't even know I'm there" -- and pose only the shots I ask her to pose. I would suggest you ask your photographer to do this, the photojournalistic approach, if you don't want to worry about spending your whole reception taking pictures. Of course, you can always ask your photographer to meet you somewhere if you'd like a specific picture with someone -- you could even give them a list of shots you want (you with grandparents, you with aunt & uncle, etc) beforehand. Good luck!

cristin

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posted by feb-bride

Skye is so right. My photographer nearly ruined my day. She had a very "canned" approach to wedding photography, and anytime I wanted her to do something that wasn't on her memorized "list" of poses, she got all huffy and rude. As a result, there were many pictures I wanted that I didn't get.

I even tried giving her a list a few weeks before the wedding (I spent months on this list to make sure I didn't miss anything), but she said that she didn't need it because I could just tell her that day. If your photographer gives you that line, INSIST that he/she go over the list with you BEFORE the wedding.

On the plus side, she was pretty fast with the posed shots. We only spent about 25 minutes after the ceremony taking pictures.

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posted by septbride2004

My photographer encourages "private time" where she will arrange for my fiance and I to meet once we're dressed. She hides/stands out of the way and photographs the first moments we see each other. We can get our tears out and nerves settled, so I won't be crying as I walk down the aisle (and can then touch up my make-up)! In her experience, there is still the wonderful anticipation of seeing each other during the processional. We plan on having most of the formal photos taken before the ceremony and then the handful afterward will be with both of us. My fiance and I don't want to stay away from our own party! Our photographer is also staying for the entire reception and will have no posed shots - she'll just capture the moments as they actually happen - better than posed in my opinion.

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posted by conductorwife2b

we went over budget on everthing else so we decided to use my aunt for our wedding. i have seen other things she has done and shes wonderful. we will also have about 3 video cameras to capture everything. another reason i went with her is becuase i live in a pretty small town although not to small and everyone i called insisted on taking picures of us together b4 the wedding and i dont want to do it that way. this way i can do what i want. i mean isnt that the whole point?

andrea

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posted by TheaterDiva1

My fiance and I debated ourselves blue in the face over when to take the pictures. I wanted to keep the tradition of him NOT seeing me before the wedding and do pictures during cocktail hour (most weddings I've been to, I did not see the B&G at cocktail hour). He wanted to do everything before so we don't take too much time from being with guests, and he assured me that even if he did see me before the ceremony, when he'll be feeling then will be different than when I'm walking down the isle (plus the photographer said he could capture my fiance's expression when he saw me in the dress for the first time). So, we've decided - we're doing family pictures before the ceremony. In fact, my fiance and I went location scouting over the weekend and checked out a marina near where we're getting married. It's perfect - there's a mini-beach, a nice boardwalk, docks with boats, a display anchor and a torpedo (don't laugh - we can do some goofy poses with the anchor and torpedo). Unless you're getting married in the morning, I'd do the pictures early on when everyone's fresh and you can take your time.

As for leaving the reception, I'd want to stay as long as possible. I think it would be rude to leave before people that went through great lengths to be there for your day (I've got people coming from Alaska to Long Island). Plus, this may be the only time in my entire life I will have people from all parts of my life (family, high school friends, current co-workers, etc.) together in one room - I know I'll want to make the most of it!