This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by jegallan on 02/09/2004.
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posted by jegallan
Background:
My fiance will be just finishing a 2-year grad degree when we will be married - so basically we will have NO money (I work full-time and been paying the bills while he finished school). We are just not willing to wait any longer to get married, so are making many compromises in order to save money. However, we also have insanely large families and would like to invite everyone (we expect around 250 guests)
Question:
We want an inexpensive reception. I have an idea, and want to know if it is tacky or not?!?
Idea:
Friday evening ceremony (say 6:00). Reception afterwards (not a sit down meal - which we would specify on the invitation). Have banquet tables of 10, and in the centre of each have: an ice bucket with champagne chilling; 3 tiered trays of chocolate dipped strawberries, red and green grapes, gourmet cheeses and pepperoni; basket of gourmet breads (french, focaccia, etc) with flavoured butters; lots of tea lights; and each place setting would have a plate with the napkin draped across, and in the centre a glass champagne flute filled with chocolates, and utensils of course. The flutes would have a nice tag tied on with ribbon with our "Thank you for being part of our special day..." stuff, and a nice toast written on the back - so that the flutes are the wedding favours (you can buy them fairly inexpensively in bulk), and it would be nice for people to give us nice toasts. So, we would have our toasts, then move right into the dancing... and everyone can nibble at their tables throughout the night. The food would all be do-it-ourselves (a few days before hand and with lots of help).
Of course we will have wedding cake, and there will be a cash bar for the dance (I know many do not like this - but it is VERY common where I am from. More common than an open bar!).
So, I appreciate any feedback or fine-tuning anyone may like to give!
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posted by SkyeCPHT
I think that sounds like tons of fun, and very sophisticated! I am trying to keep my reception small too, but we don't have a ton of family, so we kept it to about 50 people and were able to afford a very nice dinner, but we aren't having a DJ or dancing. If I had a very large family, I would definitely go with what you are saying -- in fact, if I did have to plan a large wedding I just might steal your idea!
I think everyone will just be very happy to celebrate your special day with you. Good luck!
cristin
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posted by jegallan
Thanks for that - I am jealous that you are having an intimate dinner reception, but I love all my zillion cousins and can't wait to see them on my wedding day! We get together for a reunion every summer on the same long-weekend, so I am planning to have the wedding that Friday so everyone can make travel arrangements to attend both... I love big parties (especially in my/our honour :-)
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posted by feb-bride
The only thing I would change is the starting time. If you start your ceremony at 6:00 p.m., people will not have a chance to eat dinner before the ceremony and will likely be ravenous when your reception starts. If I were you, I would have the ceremony start at 7:00 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. This way, people will have a chance to eat dinner before coming to your wedding.
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posted by catina
I have to agree with Feb-bride. Move the time to a later time. I would also add more fruit. Maybe some different varities of Melons? Other than that, can I come! It sounds very elegant and yummy!!
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posted by Holly
If you've worked out the budget, and you know all of this can be done within your means, then it sounds just fine to me! The only thing I would caution you about is the time of the ceremony/reception. I personally would make the ceremony later than 6 pm, so that guests are not starving through the reception. I'd probably want to hold off the ceremony until about 7 pm or so -- just so guests do have a chance to have a more complete meal before the wedding begins.
Your ideas do sound very elegant, and if a cash bar is common in your area, then that should be fine.
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posted by jegallan
Thanks to all - great advice (7:00pm ceremony, more tasty fruit). The cost savings really comes from this being do-it-ourselves catering. Almost anyone can wash grapes and cut-up cheese and pepperoni!
One more question - with a later ceremony/reception we may need to have pictures taken before hand... I'm not 100% against this, but I'm not in favour of letting my fiance see me before I walk down the aisle either. I was thinking of getting a lot done before hand (bridal party, with parents, etc) and then having a quickie outdoor shoot while the guests get situated. Plus a LOT of "action shots" at the ceremony.
Any suggestions?
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posted by Holly
We had some photos taken before the ceremony, but I also wanted to wait to see my groom, so it was just of me, some family pictures, and my wedding party.
If I were you, I'd ask the photographer if he could take some of you and your family and party, and also some of your groom and his family and party, at two different locations. That way, a lot of pictures are done, and you'd only need a couple of the two families together, the entire wedding party, and then of course some shots of both of you. Most photographers will do this, and then you could estimate how long it would take you to do the "together" photos (I'd be inclined to say 30 mins or less, depending).
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posted by feb-bride
I didn't want my husband seeing me, either. We did as many pictures before the wedding as possible:
Bride alone
Groom alone
Bride with attendants
Groom with attendants
You could even do the pictures with parents before the wedding. We didn't, and it only added about 5 minutes to the time we spent taking pictures after the ceremony.
Non-traditional Wedding Reception
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