This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by SkyeCPHT on 03/24/2004.
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posted by SkyeCPHT
Hello all. We have had to opt for a dry reception because we can't afford the alcohol. Our reception is only going to be dinner at a very nice restaurant in a separate room; so basically, no DJ and dancing (we can't afford that either, and the restaurant isn't set up with a dance floor anyway). There is a bar in the resturant, for guests to get a drink if they want. Anyway we are totally fine with that, in fact that's what we've always wanted because we don't really think our crowd will be a dance crowd. So I came up with an idea about the alcohol thing. What about serving a dessert wine with dessert (wedding cake)? I love dessert wines, they tend to be sweeter, and a little cheaper, because each person would probably only drink a glass, maybe two tops. Anyway. Has anyone ever seen that done before? Alcohol served with only dessert? Please let me know your take on this ...
cristin
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posted by Marge129
I think your idea sounds fine. I've never seen it done like that, but I think it will be nice. Like you said, since there's a bar in the restaurant people can get their own drinks if the just "have to have it." We're only serving beer and wine at our reception, but our restaurant also has a bar downstairs so people can venture down there to buy the hard stuff. I don't want a bunch of drunks at my reception (too many mean drunks to deal with!)
Margie
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posted by SkyeCPHT
I know what you mean! I have two younger brothers, 18 and 20, who are awfully immature and irresponsible, and they've both asked me "Can I get drunk at your reception?" So in a way I'm glad to have a dry reception because it might be easier for them to get away with drinking underage otherwise. This way, they have to at least get past the bartender!
cristin
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posted by Holly
I just wanted to say that your idea sounds totally fine. I also haven't seen it done before, but it sounds like a nice idea.
Of course there will be those who will go to the bar. At mine (where there was also no alcohol or dancing) we didn't advertise the fact that there was a bar onsite, in fact guests would have to go WAY out of their way to do it. We thought this would be good to prevent boorish behaviour from a particular alcoholic we had invited. Of course, he found the bar anyway ... luckily he still behaved himself.
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posted by SkyeCPHT
I'm glad to hear that someone else had the same reception as me -- did you enjoy yourself Holly? I'm worried that people will be expecting one thing (drinking and dancing) and then when they get there they may be disappointed or think I'm boring ... my mom is already saying "oh but can't I just do the electric slide? Please?" lol
Did you tell your guests that it was a dry reception? We're wondering how we should do that. We thought about just getting the word out because at the very least, if people want a drink, they wil need to bring money. We're a little stumped on how to handle letting our guests know that there won't be alcohol served, but that there is a bar onsite ...
cristin
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posted by catina
Your idea for dessert with dessert wine is a great one! I don't think you need to say anything about it being non-alcholic. Let it spread by word of mouth. If it's at a restaurant, it will already be assumed that alcohol can be purchased if they want, and that dancing is probably not likely. Don't worry about it!
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posted by Holly
I had a wonderful time at my wedding! Honestly, I'm so glad that we planned it the way we did -- the only thing I'd really want to change is to make sure EVERYONE in our families knew what day our wedding was. We thought they knew, because we'd talk it over with them and stuff, and even gave invitations... but my husband's sister, brother-in-law and niece (who were all participating in the wedding to some degree) forgot, and missed the ceremony entirely. Sorry, that's another rant altogether...
Ours was a small wedding (about 50 people) and I did verbally tell some people that there wouldn't be alcohol or dancing, and let them spread it via word of mouth. I agree with catina that this is the best way to inform people -- it shouldn't be included in the invitations or anything.
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posted by SkyeCPHT
What?! Family members missed your wedding?! What is up with that?! Oh dear. Well I'm just praying that my kid brothers don't embarrass me ...
We're having a small wedding too and I'm glad about it -- I think it would be WAY too much stress planning for more than 50 people!!!
cristin
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posted by Holly
Yup, that's right. I felt really bad for my husband, because he has a small family to begin with, and some of his friends got lost, or didn't show up, so he only had his parents and brother there for him during the ceremony
But I'm sure that won't happen at your wedding!
What do you anticipate your brothers doing? Hopefully nothing too bad... I read your earlier post about them wanting to get drunk at your wedding, do you think they actually would?
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posted by SkyeCPHT
Yes first they wanted to get drunk -- they younger one (18) has been more persistent about it than the older one (20). Then yesterday the 18-yr old was talking to me and I asked him, "Are you going to have the filet mignon at the wedding?" because he recently started to like steak, and he goes "I'm going to fast all day, blaze a bowl, then eat 12". He wants to get high. NICE! So I'm like well how do you plan on doing that if you're riding around with mom and dad all day? Then he started to tell me about how he planned on getting away with it. So I got really ticked and I said "Look if my wedding is going to be that awful that you need to smoke up to enjoy it, then don't come at all". He tried to pass it all off as a joke, and maybe I would be able to take it that way, but this is the 8th time he's brought it up to me ...
Also my 20-yr old brother has volunteered to be our photographer (he's very talented) but he keeps asking if he can get drunk at the reception! I'm like YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING PICTURES! He hasn't been as bad about it as the younger one though.
So yeah that's what I have to worry about on my wedding day. My mom said she wouldn't let them ruin it for me ... I'm just keeping my fingers crossed ...
cristin
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posted by Holly
Skye/Cristin,
How lovely for you, for your younger brother to threaten to get high on your wedding day! Maybe that's a little memory for you to hold on to, and work into the speech that you will be giving on his wedding day, sometime in the future...
I have a feeling your mom will keep both of your brothers in line. If she's aware of the situation, and it sounds like she is, they won't mess around. The mother of the bride is truly a force to be reckoned with!
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posted by SkyeCPHT
LOL I know it! The funny thing is, he's like "just wait till my wedding" and he talks about getting high there too! I'm just like Gosh, whenever you are adult enough to get married, I hope you're adult enough to understand that pot is an illegal drug no matter how you feel about it and that you have given up using it! He's always been so immature ... I pray for the day he can act like a grown up for just one day!!
cristin
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posted by Holly
Cristin,
Well, at least your brother's only 18... I'm sure he'll mature in a couple of years, and perhaps if he wanted to pull a stunt like that at his wedding, his bride would put him in line.
I hope he behaves himself for your day!
Alcohol at reception
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