The mandatory bridal party dance - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

#1 02-03-2009, 10:35 PM

Mandatory isn't really the right word for what I'm trying to ask, but it's the best I can do at the moment.

I really hate the tradition of the bridal party having to dance with each other, and even if I didn't, it's impossible to do because we have five guys and three girls. So, we've decided to invite all of our attendants with a guest (we were going to do so anyway), and then for the "bridal party dance" they can dance with their guest. Does that sound like a viable option?

Secondly, what dances did you include? We're going to do our first dance obviously, and then my dance with my dad, and then his dance with his mom, followed by the bridal party dance. Does that sound like too many dances? I've tried to convince him to dance with his mom at the same time I'm dancing with my dad, but he thinks his mom will want to dance to some Portuguese song and I refuse to dance to that. Is four dances in a row too many before opening up the floor to everyone?

NovemberGal · #2 02-03-2009, 10:52 PM

We did our first dance right off the bat when we came in. Then toasts and dinner. Then, to open the dance floor after dinner, we did the parent dances--I danced with my dad and DH with his mom at the same time. Halfway through the song, the DJ invited everyone onto the floor (DH and I are not dancers and didn't want to be the focus longer than necessary). Our wedding party had instructions to lead the way, in order to encourage others (turned out this wasn't really necessary for our group--they packed they floor all night!). But we didn't do any separate wedding party dance.

I don't think a WP dance is necessary; I think sometimes it's too much. If I'm at a wedding, I want to see the first dance, and the parental dances can be sweet if they aren't too long. But what do I care about the wedding party, generally?

In your case, unless you feel strongly, I'd just skip it, or tell them to lead the way--either with each other or by grabbing their dates/other guests to encourage folks to start dancing.

Julz518 · #3 02-03-2009, 10:58 PM

All we did was our first dance and a dance with my dad (and 1/2 way through that the DJ invited all the father/daughters to the dance floor). But, DH's mom is no longer with us, and he didn't want to dance with his sister or grandma, so we just skipped the "mother/son" dance.

We also dedicated songs to each other, but somehow only the one I dedicated to him got played. Everyone was "allowed" to dance to those, too. And we were gonna have an anniversary dance, but I think everyone got too distracted and we forgot to do it.

AshyBekka · #4 02-04-2009, 01:54 AM

We didn't do one. Like the other girls, we had our first dance and then I danced with my dad. I'm not sure that Cliff did a dance with his mom, but she's weird like that.

So if it makes you feel any better, the WP dance isn't very mandatory-none of us did it! I'm not really big on forcing people who may or may not like each other or know each other dance together-it just seems artificial and unnecessary.

#5 02-04-2009, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AshyBekka

I'm not really big on forcing people who may or may not like each other or know each other dance together-it just seems artificial and unnecessary.

Exactly! That's why we were going to just invite them to dance with whomever they wanted.

I think I'm going to skip it completely though, now that I've heard that no one really does it any more. There are lots of chances to dance that night; they don't need one just for them.

Complicated Woman · #6 02-04-2009, 03:07 AM

Chiming in a little late, but we didn't have one, either -- I think you can definitely skip it and no one will care.

SerendipityCrafts · #7 02-04-2009, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ciarrai

Exactly! That's why we were going to just invite them to dance with whomever they wanted.

I forget the name of it (snowball dance maybe??) .... but what about asking your bridal party to choose a partner for the first round of dance, and then the DJ calls for everyone to find another partner. This continues until everyone is up on the dance floor. The music can be fast, slow or anywhere in between.

Heather · #8 02-04-2009, 12:54 PM

You can also have the BP come in half way through your couple's song, or a third of the way in so that they're only dancing together for a couple minutes.

feb-bride · #9 02-04-2009, 04:23 PM

We had a BP dance, but our bridal party members danced with their spouses/dates. Our MOH was dating one of the groomsmen, and one of our bridesmaids was married to the other groomsman. That left only one bridesmaid and the Best Man, so they danced with their partners (not with each other). The DJ opened up the dance floor mid-way through the song, so it's not like people had to sit there staring at yet another dance.