Cash bar before reception
This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by catina on 08/12/2003.
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posted by catina
Would it be proper to have a cash bar before the reception? The reception is in a hotel hall and will be serving a wine punch and hors d'ouvres for an hour before dinner. I would like to have a cash bar available before that for those guests arriving early for the reception. The gap between the ceremony and cocktail hour is a 1/2 hour to 1 hour. The ceremony is only 15 mins. from the hotel.
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posted by feb-bride
Honestly, it's never proper to have a cash bar according to etiquette standards. However, if there is a bar on-site, it is open to everyone (not just your guests), and it's not specifically in your reception room, then guests can go ahead and go there if they wish. I just would not have a cash bar set up in the same room as your reception. I don't think guests should be expected to pay for drinks at a reception.
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posted by catina
Rather than the guests going to the hotel bar I thought about opening up our reception area an hour early. It's a cocktail area with a piano and private bar. I would open it up at say 5:00 as a cash bar. The official open cocktail (pre-reception) hour is from 6:00 - 7:00 with the wine punch and hors d'ourves (sp) followed by dinner at 7:30. There will be wine with dinner and an open bar after dinner. I was basically thinking of those who wanted to have a drink in a more private atmosphere. I agree they shoudn't pay for drinks at a reception but this would not be technically part of the reception. I'm trying to find a way to make it more comfortable for the quests. But, I guess you're right. If they want to drink prior to the official cocktail hour then they can go to the public bar.
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posted by Amanda
what about having a friend or a family memeber host a little pre-cocktail hour party? it will be cheaper for you because you don't have to open the hall early and pay the extra fee. and drinks will be cheaper too, few cases of beer, few bottles of wine and a few bottles of vodka, rye and gin and your set and what ever isn't finnished gives you drinks for a little get together when you get back from your honney moon.
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posted by catina
Actually, I'm MOB. Sorry for the confusion. The hall is ours all day and night. It's in a hotel and no other functions get booked into the same hall on the same day as a wedding. Unfortunately, if you can believe it, the close family members and friends that I would be comfortable with asking to hold a pre-cocktail party, live out of town or too far away in the city. It's not really that I don't want to pay for a open bar before the cocktail hour, but more I don't want too many people getting snapped before dinner. I figure if they have to pay they won't drink as much! Once the cocktail hour is open, I would then close the bar until after dinner. But you know what, thanks to all of you, talking this out has made me realize that they can deal with that little bit of a lull in their own way. Most will have rooms in the hotel and so they can go freshen up or have a wee sip of something of their own. Right?
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posted by feb-bride
Glad that you're not offended by our advice, catina. So many people get miffed when the advice they receive isn't what they want.
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posted by catina
If we only got the advice we wanted, why would we bother to post? I know what your saying. I've seen some pretty ticked of people getting their noses out of joint 'cos they don't like the advice they've been given. I appreciate all the help i've gotten over the last couple of weeks and look forward to more help over the next couple of months! I've gotten some really neat ideas, heard some things I definitley would not dare to do and verification of things I wasn't sure of but thought I knew what to do! Thanks again, all!
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posted by Amanda
but you are right,
you don't want a group of drunk people before the reception has even started that sometimes can get messy.
i think they will understand about the cash bar, most time people are understanding and if it's only for an hour than i don't think you'll have too many miffed people. it's actually couterous that you are offering a place for them to go. i have been to a few out of town weddings where they have the ceremony then you have to fend for yourself for a few hours, in which you do spend money anyways. so it's like the same thing but they are already at the recpetion site which is good beucase you don't have to worry about late arrivals.
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