Hosted bar
This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by beckyb on 06/12/2003.
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posted by beckyb
I am going to have a hosted bar at my reception but due to budget limitations I am only able to spend $1500 for it. Would it be tacky to give each guest drink tickets? I just want to make sure that everyone gets the same amount. Also, since I will be charged for things like soda or juice, I don't want any of the kids going and ordering drink after drink because they forgot where they left their last one. I hate to do it that way because I want everyone to feel welcome and at home. Also would it be appropriate to have the bar be non-hosted after my money ran out so that people who still wanted to drink can pay for it themselves?
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posted by 6amandaf6
THat's kind of what we're doing. OU receptin venue has a bar but they have also included wait staff in our price so drinks will be brought to you and your table rather than you helping yourself, unless you want spirits which we arent' paying for. And once our limit runs out you can go to the bar and order what you want but you pay for it. It means the waiters can keep an eye on people's drinks and the big drinkers can't stock up on bottles and go through the wine too fast. See if this is an option for your reception venue. Also looks nice too that people are being waited on rather than carrying bottles off booze around the place!
GOod luck!
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posted by feb-bride
I would definitely make sure you have drinks available for FREE during the entire length of your reception, even if it's just water, coffee, and punch. I usually don't bring much money with me when I go to a wedding (most people I know don't, either), and it would be a shame to have guests leave earlier than you expected because they are thirsty and don't have any money on them to pay for their own drinks.
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posted by beckyb
Coffee, tea and water will be available during the entire reception and won't be charged against what's available at the bar. I was considering putting in the invitation that the bar would be hosted only between certain hours and that a no host bar would be available for the remainder of the time. My reception will be during lunch so I don't know how much people will be drinking anyway. My alternative would be to offer only soda or juice at the bar. Then I could afford to host the whole time.
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posted by Amanda
you don't have to have a full bar you can have a bar that just serves one special drink or a wine and beer bar. that would cut down on the cost but you should see if you can pay for pop and juice becasue some adults don't like to drink and it would not be fair for them to pay for a 6 onnce glass of juice.
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posted by beckyb
I totally agree Amanda. If I was only offering juice and soda at the bar, there would be no problem to have all drinks paid for. I would like to offer alcohol for those who want it. That is where the added expense comes in. It won't have hard liquor. I guess it's called a "California Bar". Has anyone done the ticket idea that I mentioned earlier or been to a wedding where that was done? I would like to know how it went and if they know how it made the guests feel.
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posted by feb-bride
Not to be rude, but I think the tickets are a little tacky. I went to ONE wedding with drink "tickets," and it felt like we were at a school carnival.
If I were you, I'd only offer what I could afford for the entire reception. If you can afford to offer coffee, water, soda, punch, and juice for the entire reception, then that's what you should offer. There is no requirement to serve liquor at a reception, especially since you're having your reception during the lunch hour. If you want some liquor, perhaps just have a champagne toast or just have the bartender serve wine during the first hour of the reception (while people are getting their food).
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posted by wynelle
What Feb-bride has said, is what Sasha has also mentioned. Have what you can pay for, but don't expect your guests to pay for their own food/drink at YOUR party. If you can afford coffee, soft drinks and wine, then serve that. But don't serve something for 1 hour and have guests pay for their own beverages after that.
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posted by feb-bride
When I said serve wine for the first hour, I didn't mean to have guests pay for it during the rest of the reception. I meant that if you can only afford to serve it for an hour or two, stop serving it entirely after that.
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posted by anon
In some areas, though, cash bars are acceptable. Maybe you should go to the local chat board at theknot.com and see what people say there, just to get a feel for what other people in your area find acceptable.
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posted by anon
Also, if you have a cash bar, you should say so in the invitation.
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posted by beckyb
That is pretty much my biggest concern. I don't want it to seem tacky. So I'll nix the idea of tickets. I had asked about possibly having the bar removed or just closed after lunch was served but the person coordinating the bar seemed to think it would be too much of a disruption to the party. Like anon mentioned, the coordinator said that it is acceptable to have a cash bar and to mention it in the invite. I am from California so I am not sure if maybe this practice is not okay in other states. I am sure however that to not offer any alcohol at all or only a champagne toast would be considered tacky to my guests. Some of them are from Spain and Germany and I am afraid that to not have wine and beer will make them feel uncomfortable and they will want to leave early. My only other alternative would be to invite less people. Thanks everyone for the input.
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posted by feb-bride
In California, it is NOT acceptable to have a cash bar. That's where I'm from.
Like I said, I went to one wedding with a "drink ticket" bar and it was a bit tacky. What I didn't mention is that I've also been to one wedding with a cash bar. Cash bars are not really done here, and as a result, most guests had little to no cash on them. As a result, most of us were just drinking water because we didn't come prepared to pay for our own drinks.
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posted by beckyb
ok so I was just over at theknot.com forum and it was like WW3!!! Someone posted a topic: It's not an opinion. Cash bars are rude and tasteless...its FACT ......and just let me say, there is so much flaming going on, it is no longer a "community". The whole thing makes me want to not have a bar at all. I guess liquor is pretty low on my priority list and I would rather spend the money on having really good food and entertainment for my guests. So back to square one. I am just going to have the bar stocked with enough beverages to cover the tab and once its gone people who still want to drink alcohol can go to the hotel's bar.
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posted by Holly
Hi beckyb,
Yes, emotions do seem to run high with topics like this. Weddings are emotional things to begin with, but there are definitely some "hot" topics...
What I'm doing is serving a sit down meal, and a free-flow of soft drinks, water, juice, coffee and tea. Guests can have what they want to of these things, but no alcohol will be served. It gets too expensive with the alcohol, so it helps to keep things within budget, and it also is a good idea for me not to serve alcohol anyway -- I have a few alcoholics attending and I'd prefer not to see anything happen. To add to this, I've heard in the news about a couple of weddings where it was an "all you can drink" bar and guests drove drunk, got in an accident, and sued the newly married couple! Ridiculous.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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posted by feb-bride
I can tell you, the boards on theknot.com can get pretty vicious. I like this site better because it's usually a lot more tame, but not as many people participate, so I frequent theknot.com as well.
Holly - If I had any alcoholics in my family, I probably wouldn't have served liquor at my reception, either. In most states, the bride and groom are held liable if a guest drinks too much at their reception and then drives drunk. It sucks, because you're trying to be a gracious host, but it's an unfortunate reality.
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posted by katisue69
THIS site it more tame?!?! wow! Remind me to never go the knot.com forum then! Yowza!!
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posted by Amanda
holly....
in canada you can get insurance that will cover any "accidents" and or alot of recepion sites will provide insurance so that the hall is liable...not the bride and groom. also every reception site must let your guests have access to a phone for emergencies and to call taxis it sould cut some stress off the big day
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