This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by PJALLAR on 12/18/2002.
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posted by PJALLAR
I am trying to decide whether or not to have assigned seating at the reception. Does anyone have an opinion about this? What are the pro's and con's to assigned seating? Thanks in advance for the advice!
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posted by anon
I'm going to have assigned seating because I'm a control freak.
Actually, I'm going to have it so that I can feel confident that everyone will be sitting by someone they know, and if they come in late or whatever, they won't have to sit at a table of strangers. And that way you can choose who sits closest to your table.
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posted by anon
One more thing -- my hall is set up so you walk in and down steps to the main area. There will be a few tables at the top of the steps, and I have an aunt who has a hard time with steps, so I want to make sure she has a seat at one of those tables.
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posted by Holly
When my mom married her second husband, she didn't have any assigned seats. The wedding was small, and many guests knew at least a few others there, so it wasn't a problem. I've also been to weddings where each guest gets their own seat, and that's fine too. For my wedding, I'm planning on assigning tables to people, and letting them choose the seat at that table. That way it can give them a little bit of choice, if they want to sit beside someone specific at that table, but at the same time they will definitely get a seat. Another pro to assigned seating is that you won't get two people who dislike each other, to be close to each other! That's another reason why I'm definitely having assigned seating!
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posted by feb-bride
I did the same thing as Holly is going to do - I assigned tables and let people pick their own seats at the table.
I did this because I've been to so many receptions where acquaintance-type people are sitting right near the bride and groom while people who are really close to them (e.g., family) are sitting in the back, all because they walked in a few mintues later than the "acquaintance" guests. Also, I had some guests who I needed to "keep apart" for various reasons.
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posted by anon
When you said assigned seating, I assumed you meant assigning tables, not actual seats. I've never been to one where the actual seats were assigned, I don't think.
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posted by feb-bride
There are people I've read about on wedding web sites and in wedding magazines who actually have assigned seats at a table, but I that's just TOO stuffy for my taste. The assigned tables are the best way to go, in my opinion.
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posted by zim
NO ASSIGNED TABLES - it's too much headache and becomes a political issue if you make any mistakes.
The problem with assigned seating is that inevitably you will have no shows. I have been to weddings where there was ONE couple at a table because the family of 4 did now show. If you are concerned about the family, then assign 1 or 2 tables (or whatever you need) for family members only. Tell the catering crew to put up a sign that says "reserved for XXX Family" and let those family members know.
Our wedding had many many guests from out of town who did not know anyone and many in town who knew everyone. We only assigned the head table. In the end it couldn't have worked out more perfectly, the younger guests all seemed to congregate together. The cousins all found one another. Those with small children also found each other, the parent's friends found one another too.
By not doing assigned seating you avoid the potential political fall out, you avoid having to actually take time to think abou this, no phone calls to mom and dad to find out if it's okay to have Aunt Talkative sit with Aunt Shy, no place cards, and no cluster of people at the hall entrance looking for their name cards.
Zim
http://www.zimphotography.com
Mine was the only wedding I've been to with assigned seating at the reception, and the seating went more smoothly at my reception than at any other I'd ever been to. The guests appreciate it, too, because they realize that you've went through the effort to make sure they're comfortable.
Assigned seating also helps to make sure that elderly guests aren't seated near the sound speakers and that people with other special needs are seated somewhere easy for them to access.
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posted by mussyhair
Hi Pjallar ~
I am having assigned tables, but not assigned seats ...
I've been to a few weddings with actual seat assignments and some of the guests switched chairs to suit themselves
I think you should at least assign tables. Imagine going to a reception, not knowing anyone but the bride and/or groom, and going from table to table asking "is this seat taken?" "do you mind if I sit here?" I would be very uncomfortable having to do that.
I am not putting out little match books or favors with seat numbers, I am making up a seating chart set against an easel. The names are written alphabetically by last name with the table number written beside the name. We are just having the bride and groom, bride's parents & groom's parents in the receiving line with the seating chart at the end of the line. This should eliminate bunching up of people searching for their name. The favors are going to be at each seat.
Yes, it's tricky trying to think up who might want to sit with whom .... but if there are any feuds going on I'm not aware of, they can just behave during dinner and then go find a friend to sit with for the rest of the night. It doesn't bother me one bit if the guests move themselves around. As I'm already concerned about no-shows, I'm going to keep an eye out for the potentially 'lonely table' so I can invite those persons to move.
Good luck.
~mussyhair
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