receiving line at reception

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This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by casmom93 on 10/01/05.

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posted by ggirl_star

My fiance and i do not want to have a recieving line. He is more adamant than i, but neither of us wants to stand in line shaking hands when it is our wedding day and we should be dancing and having fun with everyone else. However, my mother thinks that it would be very rude not to, since people are traveling to the wedding and everyone wants a chance to congratulate us. I think anyone who really wants to congratulate us would have that chance in a relaxed atmosphere as well. is it really that bad not to have a recieving line at all? I've tried a compromise between my fiance and my mother, suggesting having a recieving line for part of the reception, but they are both pretty stubborn and neither will budge.

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posted by anon

I've been to many weddings where there was no receiving line.
The wedding coordinator at our church suggests that the bride and groom come back in after the recessional and dismiss people, while the parents stand in the entryway of the church and be sort of a mini-receiving line.
The only thing that worries me about not having a receiving line of any type is that you then have to make sure you talk to everyone at the reception, and that might interfere with your relaxing and having fun.

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posted by feb-bride

You don't HAVE to have a receiving line. The most important thing, though, is that you and/or your new husband speak to EVERY SINGLE GUEST at your reception. You need to go to them; they should not be expected to come up to you.

The way we did this was to do "table visits" during dinner. We had a buffet, so while everyone was eating (we ate first), we visited the tables.

As long as you have some other way to make sure you talk to all of your guests, you don't necessarily need a receiving line.

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posted by Perth girl

I'm going to go against the grain on this one and say have a receiving line either after the ceremony or at the reception. We had a receiving line after the ceremony outside the chapel and then a "time to say goodbye" line at the end of the reception and I am so glad we did as we were physically unable (time jsut gets away with you) to get around to everyone and I would have hated not to have been able to speak to each and everyone of our guests.

regards Perth girl

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posted by Holly

I think in some ways, it depends on how many guests you have. If you have 100 or so guests then you should be able to greet them and thank them, with no problem. If you are inviting significantly more guests (ie approx. 200) then it would be very difficult to greet them all. Also -- as anon mentioned, you will probably not be able to just kick back and relax when you have lots of guests to greet.

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posted by feb-bride

Holly's right - it probably does have something to do with the # of guests you have. We had about 125 guests, and we were able to talk to every single one of them by doing table visits.

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posted by Perth girl

Hmmm well again I have to go against the grain we had 85 guests and it still wasn't possible. We did have a lot of formal things and we also wanted everyone including us to have a good time so we (as i said already I know!!!) had a receiving line outsied the church b4 the photos (this was all videod and a few photos - so some nice memories here) and then the goodbye circle b4 we left. What with speeches, cake cutting and bridal waltz we just did not have the time and if we had of gone to every table we would never have had a chance to enjoy the reception ourselves as in a dance with people etc as it was the reception went so quickly, I keep saying "I want to do it again!!!"

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posted by feb-bride

Perhaps it also depends on the length of your reception. Ours was over 6 hours long, so we had plenty of time to both talk to each guest AND get in plenty of dancing. I was able to talk to each guest before the dancing even started.

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posted by anon

Perth Girl -- What is a good-bye circle?

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posted by Perth girl

A goodbye circle is very everyone forms a circle and you and your husband go around and say goodbye. You can eitehr follow each other or go the opposite way. This is done at the end of the reception. We did our to Andre Bocchellis - Time to Say goodbye.
It was a lot of fun but so sad at the same time. Also a good tim pull your veil over your shoulder ! - everytiem someone went to hug me they pulled my veil which pulled my head back!!
regards Perth girl

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posted by JeremysGirl2002

Here's taking the chance that 'feb_bride' will flame me.
I cannot see someone taking the time out to greet EVERY single person at the reception!
Receiving lines are a tradition that I think a lot of brides 2 B are getting away from. I just hate going thru & greeting people I don't know. I am sure they dislike it as well. I always feel I have to say SOMEthing to them or it is awkward. The couple releasing the pews is a great idea. At least you are sitting down while you wait!
To appease your mom? Just have the couple & their parents. I will be doing it this way.
By no means do you have to have a receiving line. You do what you want, it is your day.
If you greeted EVERYone at the reception, you wouldn't have time for the important things. NO,feb_bride, I am not saying that the guests are not important, just that they do not expect YOU to come to THEM. I don't expect them to, anyway.

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posted by feb-bride

I won't address your "flaming" comment, jeremysgirl2002, except to say that I don't flame people. I simply say what's on my mind. I cannot help it if some people are more sensitive than others.

I never said that the guests expect the bride/groom to greet them at the reception. I said that I don't think they should have to come to you. I think brides/grooms should make a point of making sure they talk to all of their guests, at least for a few minutes each.

If you don't want to "waste time" talking to each guest during the reception, your only other option is to have a receiving line. All I was trying to say is that in lieu of having a receiving line, you should come up with some other way to ensure that you'll be able to talk to your guests. We had to be out of our ceremony site within 30 minutes after our ceremony ended, and we still needed to take pictures, so a receiving line was not an option for us.

We had 10 tables at our reception (not including the head table or the kids' table). Seven of the tables were exclusively my guests, and three of the tables were exclusively my husband's guests. I went to my tables, and my husband went to his tables. Since I had a seating arrangement, all the people at each table knew each other, so it was quite easy to talk to the entire table at once.

We also spent time during the dancing talking to guests because they danced with me and my husband.

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posted by Holly

Perth Girl -- I've never heard of a goodbye circle before you mentioned it, and I *love* the idea! I'd really like to use this in my wedding (first I have to get engaged though)!
Feb-Bride -- I think you're right, it could have something to do with the length of the reception as well.
JeremysGirl2002 -- I can definitely see how a receiving line could be awkward, especially if you are standing in front of someone that you don't know and you're expected to make small talk with them. I think, though, it would be better for the bride and groom than it would be for the rest of the wedding party. If, let's say, you as a bride were faced with someone on your groom's side, all your groom would have to do is lean over and make an introduction: "This is my friend, Brad, from college." But anyway, that said, I'm not thrilled with the idea of receiving lines either. I do think that if one doesn't believe they will be able to touch base with all of the guests, they should have this, or something similar. Your idea of having just the couple and the parents is great, so it's not a long receiving line that includes all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen -- and, it allows you to talk to each guest!

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posted by Perth girl

Holly
We had only myself and my Husband outside the chapel and recieved each guest at the church - there was also people who had come to see us get married who were not invited (in Aus we send out only the one invite to the church followed by reception) and then the "goodbye" again my husband and I said our goodbyes. I do think it would get awfully long if you had say 2 or 3 attendants on each side!! in a recieving line!
We knew everyone in the reciveing line so we didn't have a problem there! However an old aunt on my Husbands side that I had met only once and I couldn't remember her name well no probs becuase people generally introduce themselves !

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posted by wynelle

Perth-girl is right, generally a guest in the receiving line will introduce themselves, if for example they worked with the groom but hadn't met the bride, or were an second cousin of the bride but hadn't met the groom). We have somewhere around 140 people at our wedding/reception. When we arrived at the reception, my husband and I immediately started making the rounds of the people seated at the tables to greet them and thank them for coming. Yes, it IS the responsibility of the bride and groom to meet, greet and thank the guests for attending. And we had plenty of time for the 'important things.' These are friends, family who have taken the time to get dressed up, drive over (some spend the weekend), buy wedding presents just because they care about you. You don't have to have a receiving line, and if you do, it is certainly acceptable only to include the bride/groom and parents. But somehow, in some way, yes, you are obligated to speak with everyone there.

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posted by Perth girl

As Wynelle said "in some way or another you need to see the guests"
And you know what that's all it boils down to - so long as you see each guest at some stage - then receiving line or no receiving line its up to you.

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posted by Holly

Hi Perth Girl,
Yes, I like the idea of just having the couple (as you did) or the couple and their parents in the receiving line. As a guest, often I've seen receiving lines with the entire wedding party (so when I hear the phrase "receiving line" I think that includes everyone in the wedding party). I remember one particular receiving line that I found a little awkward -- I came as my boyfriend's guest, and the receiving line included the couple, both sets of parents, the 4 groomsmen and the 4 bridal attendants. My boyfriend was a groomsmen so I went through the receiving line alone. I didn't know anyone else at the wedding besides my boyfriend (I'd only met the groom once before) and while standing in front of the attendants, I had no idea what to say except: "Hi, I'm so-and-so's girlfriend, it's nice to meet you." The line was quite slow as some people knew others in the receiving line very well, and they chatted for awhile. That left me and whomever I was across from in semi-awkward silence. I've found that saying something to the bridal couple is never a problem, obviously -- I just never know what to say to the attendants!
Anyway sorry for ranting! -- back to the question at hand -- I also believe it is important to touch base with all guests. It is what being a host and hostess is all about -- talking with guests, and trying to make them feel comfortable.

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posted by ggirl_star

i don't know if this is a stupid idea or not, but we were talking and thinking of maybe doing something like being the first at the reception and opening it up and standing by ther doors as everyone comes in to the reception Not totally sure how this would work, but just interested in some feedback if this is a good idea or a really lame one.

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posted by feb-bride

That's a good idea - as long as you can pull it off. How would you get there before your guests?

Another alternative (only works if you're having a buffet dinner) is for you and your husband to greet the guests while they're in line to get their dinner.

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posted by NotSoonEnuff

I think you should do what YOU want. Explain to your mother that this is your day, not hers. I think more guests are all for no receiving line.
I think the reception is a good place to greet the guests, in between the special events that go on during this time. Remember, you cannot please everyone, so, just please yourselves.

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posted by usoakamai

At my cousin's wedding, they went around the room, to each table and made a toast. It was fun as each table tried to out do the other. This was done during the reception when the wedding party was done eating and before the entertainment. This could be an option as you can then meet with everyone group at a time.