proper to have a cash bar?
This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by zoe on 07/15/2002.
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posted by zoe
Is it proper to have a cash bar at my reception?
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posted by juju
Honestly, no, I don't think it is proper. Guests should not be expected to pay for anything at the reception. I know alcohol can be expensive but maybe it would be more manageable if you scale it down and serve champagne punch or just beer/wine. Good luck!
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posted by Faith
I've heard that it is better to not have a bar at all if you can't afford to purchase the alcohol yourself.
A California bar (beer and wine) is a less expensive way to offer your guests alcoholic beverages.
My suggestion would be to have the California bar available at no cost to your guests, and then you might have a cash bar for hard liquor if you feel that is necessary.
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posted by feb-bride
It probably depends on where you're from in the country; in some places in the US, it's considered acceptable.
However, where I'm from (California), it's the height of rudeness to expect guests to pay for anything at a wedding reception. The way I look at it is like this - I would NEVER invite guests to my home and expect them to pay for their own alcohol, so why would I do this at a wedding?
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posted by wynelle
This has been a hot topic in both this and the Wediquette forum periodically for a long time. I agree with Feb-bride as does the professional Sasha. In most parts of the country (although it may be changing) it is considered inappropriate to expect your guests to pay for anything at the reception. If you can't afford it, don't do it. As Faith said, wine and beer are a less expensive alternative, and if you feel you must have alcohol of some type, then just have the champagne for toasting. Besides, if someone MUST have hard liquor, they can bring a flask, or in some cases such as a hotel reception area, they can step across to the public bar!!
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posted by feb-bride
Honestly, though, if any of my guests couldn't have gone for a few hours without hard liquor, I wouldn't have wanted them at my reception!
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posted by Amanda
I have been to a few weddings were there has been a cash bar. A good idea is to give guests a few "drink tickets" this way you are buying you guest a drink or two so you don't feel bad or "cheap". The drink tickets are pre-paied at the bar buy whomever pays for the dinner. Also another good idea is if you are having a cash bar, give the tabels a few complentary bottles of wine for dinner.
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posted by Perth girl
Hello all!
In Australia with the weddings I have attended and indeed my own there is no bar! The drinks are usually made up of soft drinks,beer, red wine, white wine, champagne coffe and tea. You can however choose which wines so it doesn't have to be the house wines. We are having a middle range bottled wines along with all the others mentioned. Unless you are a multi millionaire spirits are not included. The people are there to enjoy your wedding not get rolling drunk and I agree with Feb-Bride if they can't manage a few hours without hard liquor then why would you want them there. There is in most case here a nightclub and or bar in the Hotel where the function is held whether it be a 3,4 or 5 star Hotel and then guests are usually allowed free entry after the wedding so then they can "live it up" all they want.
But I don't believe a cash bar is a good idea, although we don't have such a thing here I think it sounds a bit rude.
Cheers and good luck - I would go with the other ladies suggestions of minimal drinks if your budget is tight
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posted by sparkly things
I see this topic all the time online and it always says it's inappropriate to have a cash bar - and yet I've only ever been to one wedding that had an open bar. I'm from the east coast of Canada and now live in the Boston area and most people I've spoken with says it is completely acceptable to not have an open bar. We are planning a wedding that will be at a very beautiful and upscale inn and we can't afford to offer open bar for the evening. We will offer wine and champagne throughout the evening but guests will have to pay for beer and hard liquor. We are giving our guests a beautiful setting with amazing food (that the inn is renowned for) and wine and champagne. If any guest is offended or feels that is not good enough then they really shouldn't be sharing in our day.
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posted by feb-bride
The main thing, sparkly, is that if you are going to invite people to a reception, you should make sure you offer your guests drinks throughout the evening without forcing them to pay. I couldn't afford "hard" liquor at my reception, so I served soda, water, coffee, wine, and beer. As long as your guests have options for drinks without having to fork out cash, you're not being rude. In my opinion, it becomes "rude" or "tacky" when your guests don't have anything to drink unless they pay for it.
I've been to a wedding where if we wanted anything other than ice water, we had to pay for it (including coffee and soda). In my opinion (and in the opinion of the other guests), the hosts were rude to not even offer us a cup of coffee or a soda without us having to pay for it ourselves.
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posted by sparkly things
I absolutely agree Feb-Bride. We plan on offering coffee, tea, water and soda in addition to wine service. We're just skipping the hard liquor. We'd like to do beer too but we haven't come to an agreement with the inn yet.
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posted by PJALLAR
The last two weddings I went to were cash bars. I received free drinks at my best friends wedding, because she paid for the wedding parties drinks. Everyone else had to pay and no one seemed upset. I personally would not do it. If you can't afford a full bar just serve beer and wine.
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posted by amazon
Sometimes you will be in better legal shape if you omit alcohol all together. If someone over-does it and is in an accident on the way home, you can be sued. I would also ask your bartender to use judgement in serving minors. I attended a wedding where the brides 15 year old brother became very intoxicated and vomited all over the dance floor and on one of my fellow brides maids.
If alcohol is a definite, you will be safer with a California Bar and soft drinks. Not only will it slow down the heavy drinkers, you won't be stuck with the left overs.
Best of luck,
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