Married Couples At Dinner
This is a thread that was started in our old BlissWeddings.com forums by Cindy Cohen on 09/25/2001.
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posted by Cindy Cohen
An usher is married. His wife is not in the ceremony. During dinner is it rude to have this usher seated at the head table away from his wife?
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posted by feb-bride
He is only an usher, or does he "double" as a groomsman?
If he's "only" an usher and not a groomsman, he probably would not be seated at the head table and should just sit with his wife. If, however, he's a groomsman, he should be at the head table and his wife should be with the guests. I've been in three weddings in the past two years and my fiance' never sat with me. Also, I've never been to a wedding where a "non-bridal-party spouse" was at the head table.
Good luck!
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posted by Cindy Cohen
He is a groomsman. You said, "I've been in three weddings in the past two years and my fiance' never sat with me.", but this doesn't really apply to my question because you were not married at these three weddings. Correct?
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posted by feb-bride
True, BUT - there were other married bridesmaids/groomsmen in these weddings, and none of their spouses sat at the head table unless they were also in the wedding. There was one wedding where the wife wanted to sit at the head table and she was told that she needed to sit with the rest of the guests because the head table was for wedding party ONLY.
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posted by kristin
I think feb-bride is right.. usually significant others are not seated at the head table. I was in one wedding where there were only two attendants on each side and sig. others were invited to sit at the head table. I am not having a "head table" per se, but a group of tables for the wedding party. I am letting the dates of the wedding party members sit there too, because for my wedding, most of the dates don't really know anybody else there.
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posted by janeonthehill
Another way to avoid separating people from their spouses, and make everyone feel as if they are at a special table is to have one bridesmaid or usher, with their spouse or date if they have one, at each table. That way there is someone from the wedding party at each table. Many people find it akward to be separated from their spouse if they don't know a lot of people at the wedding. I do not know if this is the case or not , but it is something to think about.
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posted by feb-bride
So glad I don't have this problem. All of the spouses of my bridal party will know at least 20 or more people at the wedding, so there will be no problems of awkwardness for the spouses.
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posted by wynelle
Well, not to be difficult, but I have been to weddings where the spouse of the attendant WAS included at the main table. And yes, it was a BIG table. It just seems a bit impolite so separate them from their spouses. But everyone has their own preference. Some have only the bridal party; some have the B/G and parents; some have parents hosting their own tables. It just depends on how the B/G want it...
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