To those of you who have had destination weddings... - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

AngelRoseFyre · #1 11-08-2008, 10:36 PM

What did you think about it? We have been talking alot about doing destination instead of local.

I have heard some say it's less work, and some say it's more, same with costs.

And do you have any suggestions of destination spots. We are tossing around Mexico or possibly Hawaii, but nothing set in stone.

sparklesweetie · #2 11-09-2008, 12:34 AM

The wedding I was just in was a destination wedding. I think on cost it was a little more than if she'd have had it here in a church; but it was also on a cruise ship, so that my have contributed - however, I think most people get less cost with a destination wedding assuming that they do not have a reception afterwards (which is where the money all goes, really).

As for planning - she never stressed that first time that I could tell. Everything was taken care of, and the only thing she (and we) had to worry about was showing up with our dresses on.

You do have to be able to not be in complete control of every detail though, b/c there is just no way you could be. But anytime she had a question she could email or call the travel agent and they would help her. Then once we were on the ship the wedding coordinator there took care of it.

If you're looking to stay in the States, I would reccomend North Carolina (but I'm a bit biased, b/c I love it there

). If you want tropical, I personally think anywhere in the Bahamas, St. Thomas, or St. Marteen would be perfect. Then, of course, if you don't neccesairly want water nearby, there's always the desert or the mountains. I read a thing today about people getting married in a cave - the pictures were awesome. (If you want the site let me know). There's just so many options - so, what do you want as your "background?"

I will say that having the wedding one day and the reception two weeks later was fantastic. There was no rush either day, everyone was just super relaxed. Plus, you know how everyone says the day rushes by so fast? Well, with it split like it was we ALL got to take in every moment. Makes me wish I'd done it for my wedding.

AngelRoseFyre · #3 11-09-2008, 04:11 AM

We are definitely thinking ocean 'background' we both love the ocean, and live pretty much in a desert. The mountains would be nice too, but we see the mountains all the time.

We are thinking of doing a reception when we get back, but more low key than one that would usually be right after the wedding. More of just a formal party/ get together for out local friends to come celebrate with us.

I know it is way to soon the sweat this now, but I am already concerned about wedding party involved. Ian is pretty much insisting on bringing his best man along, which I understand, but I have TWO best friends (and no sisters), and I would need to bring one of them along as a MOH. The problem is we can only afford to take one MOH, so I have to choose between them, and either one could get hurt. Guess I'll think it out more once we have more definitive plans

RJE080703 · #4 11-09-2008, 06:33 AM

Personally I couldnt have had a destination wedding because I am one of those that HAS to be in control.... But my SIL was just in a destination wedding back in June and the bride is one of those not so girly girls and very very laid back. She didnt care at all about the details as long as there was a groom, preacher, and family there!

They had their destination wedding in Mexico... Cancun or Cozumel (cant remember). But she said it was great!! They did everything from cake, flowers, music, decoration, etc. I know they are middle class folk and it couldnt have been that expensive or her folks would have said no. I do know that they didnt pay for everyone to get there but the hotel that everyone stayed in had some kind of great deal for everyone who was with the bride and groom (all inclusive hotel)... But also it wasnt super duper expensive because everyone that was flying over there was flying right out of Texas and it isnt that expensive from here to Mexico.

I do know the bride had some kind of issue with the marriage license, but she was able to work it out between there and here.

Dont know if that helps, but if you are very interested I can ask her for information on the place they went and the information on who to get into contact with to find out all the details...

sparklesweetie · #5 11-09-2008, 03:12 PM

You are not required to pay for anyone to travel with you. All of us who went (BP and guest alike) paid their own way. It's a nice thought....but if push comes to shove then I wouldn't. If I were one of those two girls...and knew that you could only take one b/c of money...I'd be really insulted, and think why didn't she just have us both pay so we could both go? But that's just me.

I had a different friend who did the Sandals thing in Jamaica. She loved it - said it was great, went smoothly, and was just very relaxed. Sandals has several locations - you might check into them if you're wanting an all inclusive.

AngelRoseFyre · #6 11-09-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RJE080703

But my SIL was just in a destination wedding back in June and the bride is one of those not so girly girls and very very laid back. She didnt care at all about the details as long as there was a groom, preacher, and family there!

Dont know if that helps, but if you are very interested I can ask her for information on the place they went and the information on who to get into contact with to find out all the details...

Yeah, I am kinda wanting to have to NOT worry about details. I have 2 kids to take care of, one of which is still an infant, one in school, on top of wedding stuff, I am OK with not being in control.

If you could let me know of the place she went that would be great!!!

Heather · #7 11-09-2008, 09:53 PM

I would keep it to the States, maybe somewhere Florida? If you get married after January, your guests are going to have to deal with more strict passport situations.

NovemberGal · #8 11-09-2008, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

If you get married after January, your guests are going to have to deal with more strict passport situations.

That's a really good point, and unless you're sure they all have valid passports already, it can take MONTHS to get one unless you pay pricey expediting fees.

I don't have any specific suggestions though. There are lots of nice beachy places from Maine to Florida and Washington state to Cali.

RJE080703 · #9 11-10-2008, 01:19 AM

I'll ask her for some details and let ya know. It may take a few days, shes a teacher and kinda hard to get ahold of during the week. But I'll let ya know what i find out when I hear back from her...

wynelle · #10 11-10-2008, 08:42 PM

It's really sort of a shifting of the expenses. If you had a wedding in your home-town, or where you are currently living, YOU (or parents) would be spending the money for the wedding and the reception. A large majority of the guests would have minimal personal financial output, depending on where they live, and if they would have to drive/fly into town.

A destination wedding, where the guests have to pay more (flights, cruises, beach hotels, driving, etc), anticipate a lower attendance. And technically it isn't your responsibility to pay for the bridal party or guests cruise fees, airline reservations, rental cars, etc. And to be honest, if you pay for one person...you are setting into place a whole lot of hurt feelings if other guests or bridal party members find out. But since less people will attend, the overall cost of the destination-related wedding reception will be less. But you run that cost right back up if you have another reception back at home after the destination wedding. Are you sure with all that is going on, you don't just want a smaller family wedding?

And... depending on when you want to have it, that whole passport thing comes into play, plus saving enough money to attend, etc. And then requesting time off.

AND don't forget that if you get married in a foreign country, you technically have to get married in the USA for it to be valid anyway.

AND you are going to have two children tagging along, so the cruise might not be the best idea. Although I personally love cruises.

AngelRoseFyre · #11 11-14-2008, 04:41 AM

It's not set in stone yet, just an option we are looking into.

I am not very worried about the guest thing. I want a small wedding either way, so there won't be many guests anyway, and those we want to invite live far away, so travel would be about the same. We would just have an informal party celebration when we got back, not really a formal reception.

It's kinda weird, with my last engagement, I was obessed with having a huge show off wedding, and impressing everyone else. This time all I really care about is marring Ian, the rest is just details.

RJE080703 · #12 11-14-2008, 04:59 PM

Just wanted to let ya know I asked my friend Kayla and she hasnt responded yet... As soon as I hear something back I will let ya know the details on their recent destination wedding!

feb-bride · #13 11-14-2008, 06:05 PM

My best friend had a destination wedding. It was only a couple of hours away from us, but it still required all of the wedding party to stay one or two nights (because of the rehearsal and dinner) at a hotel that was NOT cheap because of the location. When it was all said and done, it cost me over $500 to be in her wedding, and that did not include my dress and shoes, gifts, etc. She thought it would save money, but all it did was cost the guests a lot more to attend, so she only had about half the guests that she thought she'd have.

AngelRoseFyre · #14 11-15-2008, 04:05 AM

Ok so heres the deal with the whole guest thing. More or less I am trying to get out of 'drama'.

When I was in high school, I had a very close knit group of friends (one of which was 'ex-fiance' Ian), well over time, I grew apart from these friends, and made new friends. Anyway, I don't really want to have to invite some of them, and if I invite others, I will feel obligated to invite the rest, if I invite none of them, then it's just this huge big horrible deal..... yada yada yada....

As for the friends we have now, they are all just fine with not coming to the actual wedding, and ust having a big party later on. We discussed it, and don't think we would bring a bridal party along. Just a small wedding for us, the kids, and immediate family (not a money issue on either side).