Wedding Party Dilemma - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

stephj · #1 07-15-2008, 04:37 PM

I am having a wedding party dilemma... My fiance has a group of really close guy buds, well we just told them that we were getting married this weekend, and now my dear sweet future hubby inform me that he has to invite them all to be in the wedding party which wouldn't be a problem but there are 5 of them... we are planning a small wedding and had planned on only having 1 or 2 attendants each. mainly because on my side due to moving quite a distance for grad school and going through 2 grad programs, i am sadly out of contact with most of my girlfriends who i grew up with. Due to being busy with grad school, i never really developed close girl friends here in my new city, most girls i know are more acquaintances. 2 of the groomsmen (well the best man and a groomsman) have wives/fiances that i have been spending some time with ... but wouldn't really consider them close girlfriends.... we spend time with eachother because our SO's are close and are starting to become friends because of that.
So i feel like i have a few choices ...

1. Invite my cousin and best friend sophia to be in the wedding party ... and have 2 girls and 5 guys (the guys will not be happy with that one!)

2. Invite my cousin and best friend as well as the 2 other fiance/wives of my fiance's entourage to be in the party making things a bit more even

- or -

3. use this as an opportunity to get back in touch with my closer girl friends and invite them to come down to be in my wedding... at present we mainly keep in touch via occasional emails and cards, we haven't seen eachother in about 3 years

I really don't want to limit his groomsmen because while my family is huge his is very small and these people have been like family to him. ma

starjumper · #2 07-15-2008, 04:50 PM

i've been to a few weddings lately that have had different numbers of attendants on each side. me and my hubby prefer symmetry, but it's totally an option to have different numbers.

another idea (because the whole part about not having many close girls is near and dear to my heart) is that you can have guys stand up for you to. i just went to a wedding where the bride had 3 bridesmaids and the groom had a best man and a best woman (his best friend is a girl).

personally, i invited my best friend from elementary school to be my maid of honor. we'd both been away at school in different places with occassional email contact, but she was thrilled at the idea, and i really felt that she was the most responsible/ reliable person for the job and had known me the longest and best.

starjumper

NovemberGal · #3 07-15-2008, 05:47 PM

I agree, there is no problem with uneven numbers. Who cares if the groomsmen aren't happy about it--your wedding does not exist for them to meet girls. I also agree with having men on your side if you have close guy friends you'd like to honor.

I would warn against asking S.O.s of the groomsmen if you're not particularly close to them or even with reconnecting with old friends solely to have an even wedding party. You're likely to find yourself with bridesmaids who do little to help and cause more burden than they are worth. If there are friends you'd like to reconnect with and you really feel you WANT them there, that's different--give it a shot. But don't do it just because you want even numbers.

sparklesweetie · #4 07-15-2008, 05:50 PM

How many guests are you having? (Small wedding can mean lots of different numbers, lol.) If you are only having like 50 guests, 5 guys is going to overpower your guests - there's a number equation somewhere I'll have to look up - it reccomends a ratio of party members to guests.

That aside - I'd stick with #1 or #2. They know you the best - but it all boils down on who you want up there with you on that day. If you'd like to involve the wives of the groomsmen, have them be the guest book attendant or hand out programs.

wembley · #5 07-15-2008, 06:11 PM

Is there one or two that your FH is closer to? Could he ask just one or two to actually stand up with him and have the others be something like ushers or readers? That way they are all involved and have jobs but you don't have so many boys actually walking down the aisle without ladies. During planning and partying, you don't have to separate which boys are doing what job. They can all be treated like the "wedding party" no matter what they're actual job is.