Any brides experiencing stress as you plan your weddings?? - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

lisabrookeskift · #1 07-02-2008, 01:36 AM

Hello - I'm Lisa and I'm excited to be a part of pashweddings forum! I thought I'd get the ball rolling by checking in with any brides (or grooms!) who might be just a wee bit stressed out right about now???:

Planning a wedding can bring up a lot between couples. Anyone noticing your relationships getting tense as you sort through the details of your nuptials? I'd also love to hear from those who are blissfully happy and having no issues around this.

Looking forward to providing relationship advice here!

Heather · #2 07-02-2008, 01:39 AM

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to Pash! I'm sure your expert advice will come in handy for a lot of the girls.

feb-bride · #3 07-02-2008, 01:49 AM

Welcome to Pash! Do you accept questions from couples who are already married, or only those who are planning weddings?

sparklesweetie · #4 07-02-2008, 03:33 AM

Welcome!

Yelycrazygirl · #5 07-02-2008, 02:29 PM

Welcome to Pash!!

lisabrookeskift · #6 07-02-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feb-bride

Welcome to Pash! Do you accept questions from couples who are already married, or only those who are planning weddings?

Thanks for all the warm "welcomes!"

To reply to your question - I absolutely accept questions from married and unmarried couples - and those planning to marry. One of my practice focuses is premarital counseling. I can be helpful to those with questions about relationship issues coming up around the wedding, why premarital counseling can be helpful to ensure a lasting marriage, stress management and much more.

I work with individuals and couples - so I am familiar with many issues. To learn more about me you can visit my website at www.lisakifttherapy.com.

Sh@ks18 · #7 07-02-2008, 03:49 PM

Welcome to pash

RJE080703 · #8 07-02-2008, 05:53 PM

Welcome!

#9 07-02-2008, 10:52 PM

Welcome to Pash Lisa!

erin701 · #10 02-26-2009, 05:18 AM

I am absolutely stressed. We're only in the beginning stages - at the point where we need to decide on a venue, and it is bringing up so many of my own unresolved family that it's driving me a bit insane. I really just want to elope at this point.

We had planned to choose a venue in the mountains not too far away from my parent's southeastern hometown and where I grew up. We also looked at one venue in my hometown. After looking at lots of venues, of the ones we really liked, the only one in our price range was in my parents hometown. He is ready to choose it and go for it, but i"m hesitant. It's bringing up a lot of my memories from childhood about the place - I'm having a kind of adolescent response to the small-town-I-grew-up-in. There are a lot of class and other dynamics going on there that I've rejected and moved away from, and I guess somehow I see a lot of the weddings there to be a part of it participating in all that I have rejected about the place and social dynamics.

I've also had issues with my family. I live on the other side of country from them and over the past 5 years have found it increasingly difficult to relate to them. Sometimes I go home and spend 5 days with them and throughout the whole time no one has really asked about me or engaged me in any way. I leave feeling really disconnected from them and like they don't care. In reality, they are very nice kind people but their lives are just so different than mine. But this dynamic has been really hurtful to me. Then with the engagement and beginnings of wedding planning, everyone is suddenly so interested in my life and wanting to support me. It's been kinda overwhelming - both nice but also hurtful in that I feel, why now? just because I'm getting married?

Anyhow - all of this is leading me to feel afraid that if I have it in my parent's home town it will all feel really fake and participating in the things that I have rejected, and that I'll feel disconnected to people at my wedding such as my family.

Is this a normal part of going through wedding planning? Should I confront these issues and go ahead with the venue there? Or should I not have to confront all of these issues during my wedding and I should look for another venue in the mountains or elsewhere?

Heather · #11 02-26-2009, 12:11 PM

Erin, you may want to start a new thread in Lisa's area. If you look at the last post, this thread is pretty old.

I would move it for you but I don't have mod priviliges in this area.

erin701 · #12 02-27-2009, 05:31 AM

Thanks Heather - you know I tried it, but it seems it has to be approved by a moderator or something. You know anywhere else I could post this? Or how to get around the moderator bit?
thanks

#13 02-27-2009, 05:39 AM

Lisa is the moderator, and she will see the question and post it once she's responded to it. Go ahead and ask the question, and it'll show up in her email immediately.

rubysync · #14 03-11-2009, 04:51 AM

with regards to the title of this thread. I, myself, experienced stress as we are planning for our wedding.. but I guess couples will experience stress...

lisabrookeskift · #15 03-11-2009, 06:30 AM

"with regards to the title of this thread. I, myself, experienced stress as we are planning for our wedding.. but I guess couples will experience stress..."

Yes, stress will be most certainly part of the picture at some point in the planning period of your wedding. The question is: what are you doing to handle it?

Here are some tips to handle stress with your fiance:

Check in with your fiance periodically to see how the other is feeling
Get exercise regularly to regulate mood and let off some steam
Make lists and divvy out responsibilities so no one is overwhelmed
Don't let wedding vendors pressure you into spending more than you can afford
Set boundaries with disagreeable family members
If it gets out of control - consider a couples counselor to help you navigate through.

If you have any specific questions - I'd be happy to answer them.