The new Mrs. Roehm!

[alongroadahead08]

Hello Ladies! I hope that everyone's holiday weekend was good and safe. Ours was fabulous! The wedding went wonderfully. A little quicker than I expected, but hey sometimes quicker is better! LOL. We got to the courthouse at around 4, and the ceremony started around 4:30. A friend of mine, her husband, Steve's best friend and his g/f, and my parents were all in attendance. Dad walked me down the aisle. That's a memory i'll always have, and i'm so glad they decided to be there. After the ceremony, we took a few pictures, and headed across the street to a vey nice restaurant for dinner. After dinner Steve, myself, Steve's friend and his g/f all headed to a larger town to the North of us where our hotel was at. We checked into our hotel, and decided on a night on the town to continue celebrating.
I have oficially decided that i'm the coolest wife ever! Ok just kidding, there are tons of cool wives on here, but I'm saying that because we actually decided to go to a strip club...ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT! Steve actually got a lap dance too, and I could have cared less. I was anxious to go to a strip club because I wanted to see what they were like. I can honestly say I was rather bored. LOL. After that we went to a large night club, dance some and decided to hit the hay.
Saturday, we stayed in the hotel room most of the day, ate dinner out, and just sat around and enjoyed each other's company. It was wonderful and relaxing. Oh did I mention that his mother called us Saturday too? Yeah, Steve told her "mom I have some good news, you may not like it, but it's good news, we got married at the courthouse today." How did she take it? She hung up on him. She cooled down called us back, bascially said "whatever makes you two happy, i'll let you tell the rest of the family, love you bye." Steve said she sounded ok with it. Let's hope she keeps that attitude. It'd make everything a lot better.
I'm downloading pictures as we speak, and will be posting them shortly. I can honestly say that i'm glad we did it this way. It was so less stressful, and we enjoyed every bit of it. Even tho his mother acts ok with it, I asked if he had any regrets with her not being there, and being ok with it, and he said no. i'm so glad I married someone who is understanding, and can see both sides, and not just one.

Well that's about all other than pictures...I'M SO EXCITED TO BE A MRS!

[Heather]

Cngratulations girl! I'm so happy for you.

Yay on the strip club, too! lol They're really not bad at all if they're in a nice area.

Glad to hear his Mom took it okay. She's probably fuming but as long as she does it privately, then let her fume.

[m_t_rose]

Glad to hear everything went well. Congrats on being a Mrs'. I can't wait to see pictures.

[NovemberGal]

Congrats! It sounds wonderful!

I agree with H, if she fumes privately, then fine. Either that, or she's realizing exactly what she screwed up--that her son didn't want her at his wedding, and she can never get that experience back.

I'm so glad your parents were there and you got to have your dad walk you down the aisle!

[wembley]

Congratulations! It sounds like an awesome day and it is so special that your parents were actually there. His mom will deal with it and even if she doesn't, it's not your problem.

[alongroadahead08]

Thanks everyone! We just got back from the in-laws. MIL still not dealing well. Did not tell us congrats, did not ask about the day, saw me bring in pictures and did not want to look at them. FIL on the other hand...came in with all sorts of jokes, said congratulations you guys, and trully acted happy. But as Steve and I have decided, she didn't yell, she didn't break down into hysterics (she did cry a little) and she didn't bitch, we really couldn't ask for a whole lot more at this point. We made the effort to see them as to not exclude them totally, and what they do with it is their choice. FIL decided to be great about it MIL not so much...but hey you win some you lose some. I'm just happy it's over with.
Thanks for all the encouraging words over the months ladies, you trully kept me sane!

[Yelycrazygirl]

Congratulations... I'm happy for both of you. Being married is great, so enjoy it!!!!!

[ohiobride]

Congratulations! I'm glad you're happy with how things went and you've made the "big step" and told MIL.

[RJE080703]

Congratulations! Great to hear the big day went off smoothly. Glad to hear MIL isnt being too ugly about it. I mean I know she wasnt jumpin at seein the pics and hearing the details, but at least it wasnt a full out screaming, fit throwing, foot stomping catastrophy (sp?).

When do you two leave for Cabo? Now I cant wait to see those pics! Cant remember but is it a cruise, or flying in?

BTW, saw the pics from the big day... You looked beautiful. Definately looked like a very happy day

[lala]

Congrats! Hopefully, MIL is just in shock and will be happy the next time you see them. Can't wait for pictures!

[Sh@ks18]

Congratulations!

Hopefully your MIL is reflecting on what a witch she's been and regretting that she pushed you guys to make this decision.

[feb-bride]

I'm really happy for you!

The only thing I find sad in this in terms of your ILs is that because of your MIL, your FIL was robbed of the opportunity to see his son get married. Because your MIL is the way she is, she ruined it for others who might otherwise have gotten to see you two get married.

[ringem1]

Congratulations!! Hopefully MIL will come around and if not oh well she cant ruin your big day anymore!!

[alongroadahead08]

Originally Posted by RJE080703

When do you two leave for Cabo? Now I cant wait to see those pics! Cant remember but is it a cruise, or flying in?

We leave for Cabo on September 21st, and will get back on the 27th. I'm soooo excited for that I can hardly wait. My ticker is slightly off, but we're down to only 3 months and some odd days. It won't get here fast enough!
It's just flying in and staying at an all inclusive resort for the week. I don't plan on doing much but sitting by the pool have drinks and eating especially since it's all inclusive I need to get my moneys worth! LOL

Feb I know what you mean. Steve and I have actually talked about this a little. He's sad that his dad didn't get to see it either, especially since he's been so great about all of this. WHen we were over there last night and MIL didn't say anything to us, we knew the moment we walked out the door she was chewing FIL's ear off. I feel so bad for the man. Words gotten around because MIL's friend's husband came into see Steve at work today and said that she's MAD about it. We both shrugged. We don't care anymore. Everything is out of our control.

Anyway, we're loving every minute of married life!!

[justnmary]

Originally Posted by alongroadahead08

Feb I know what you mean. Steve and I have actually talked about this a little. He's sad that his dad didn't get to see it either, especially since he's been so great about all of this. WHen we were over there last night and MIL didn't say anything to us, we knew the moment we walked out the door she was chewing FIL's ear off. I feel so bad for the man. Words gotten around because MIL's friend's husband came into see Steve at work today and said that she's MAD about it. We both shrugged. We don't care anymore. Everything is out of our control.

I'm going to play devils advocate here.

As much of a bitch your MIL has been, or so we're told, there are two sides to every story, did you expect her reaction to be anything less? She's mad, hurt, upset....of course she's going to react like this. She finds out after the fact that her son got married and they weren't even informed it was going to happen. On top of that, they find out that YOUR parents were told in advance and INVITED. I'd be fuming too. I'm impressed with how well your MIL is handling this becuase honestly, I can't say I'd be as nice. I think the situation was handled very poorly and if it were me, I think I would have informed his parents a day or so before the wedding and given them the option to come or not to come. What would they do in that little bit of time? Not a damn thing, maybe be pissy for a few days, but would it really have an effect on whether or not you got married? I just think farther down the line your hubby will regret not having his parents there. I will almost guarentee that you put up a huge wall between your parents and his and that's pretty sad also.

[ladedah]

I feel bad for Steve's mother, too....I know that she was being a hugh bitch and causing a lot of stress over your wedding.....but this has got to be such a huge slap in the face to her and I'm positive she's absolutely heartbroken....I know you guys say you don't care and that she's hurt you enough for you to be at that point...but now she will never have that opportunity again and you purposely excluded her because the two of you wanted to "hurt" her for the drama that she has caused....and I know that your FIL was acting happy for you two, but deep down he's got to be heartbroken, too....

I know you've got to do what you feel is best for you and as long as you are comfortable cutting Steve's family out as you begin your married life, then all the best wishes in the world to you.....

[alongroadahead08]

Woa woa, 1) she has no clue my parents were there. This is not something that she'll ever be informed of. 2) This was not done to get back at her. She was not invited because her SON not I didn't want her there. He wanted to enjoy a stressfree day and knew it wouldn't go like that otherwise. And for the record we have not cut his family out. Did I say I expected her to act peachy? No. I said she held her own, and that's all I could ask for at this point. It was a big shock, I understand that, but in no way did I do it to be vengeful because that would mean i'm no better than her.

[NovemberGal]

Well, be prepared that she may someday find out your folks were there--which could blow things up again if they've ever settled down.

But honestly, it sounds like you and DH made the decision you wanted to make, that you felt comfortable with. Well, then, you did the right thing--at least the right thing for you, and nevermind what someone else would or wouldn't have done. It doesn't sound like this action is going to cause them to cut you out, you haven't cut them out...it certainly won't smooth things over, at least not right away, but maybe in the long run this is the kick in the pants (or slap in the face) she needed to see how her actions and words are affecting her son.

[ladedah]

Originally Posted by alongroadahead08

in no way did I do it to be vengeful because that would mean i'm no better than her.

I'm just saying from the outside looking in.....if it walks like a duck....it's just my opinion and in no way do you have to defend yourself, if you're happy with your decision you shouldn't ever feel the need to....but you did cut his entire family out of your wedding day, and then you come around and act sunshiney....come look at our pictures of our wedding day we deliberately left you out of...ha, take that!!.....I wasn't there, I don't know....like I said....just from the outside looking in....just saying I feel bad for her...the same as I would feel for any mother who had her heartbroken by a child...

and, I'm pretty sure it will be next to impossible to keep from her that your parents were there....

[justnmary]

Like Nov or Ladedah said, if the decisions you made work for you that's all that matters. You're the ones that have to live with those. I just got an undertone from your posts that you're getting a kick from excluding your MIL
from your wedding. Not once did I get the impression that you are truely saddened by the fact that she wasn't there...not for your sake but for DH's. I'm not saying that your MIL didn't do anythng wrong, Lord knows she did...but do you really feel she deserved that? She raised your DH to be the man that he is, the man that you love, and inside you're happy as a pickled clam that you came out on top. You haven't hidden that fact from us...at all.

It doesn't matter who's idea it was to exclude them, you both agreed to it. Also, you may not have intentionally cut his family out, but actions speak louder then words and if she hasn't gotten the clue over this someone would have to hit her upside the head with a two-by-four and print it out in neon lights but it's pretty obvious to the outside world.

One other thing, if you were there showing pics, did you hide the ones your parents were in? If you're that afraid of her reaction over that, it goes to show you're not comfortable with the decision you did make otherwise you'd have no problem defending it, instead of hiding portions of it...i.e....pics of you and your parents. The longer you keep this secret the worse it will be when they find out. You'd be pretty naive to think they never will.

Good luck to you both, I've said what I needed to say.

[alongroadahead08]

I do recall saying that I was sorry that MIL was acting the way she was in previous posts, and that her actions were causing us to make the decision that we did. I've said TONS of times that I feel terrible for DH, and that i'd never ask DH to not invite his parents for my sake. If he had prosisted they be there, then they would have no questions asked. So don't pinpoint me to be the bad guy in this. You are making me sound no better than her, and you're wrong.
As far as acting sunshiney...ok...would you like me to act depressed at the fact that I got married. Of freaking course i'm sunshiney, i've not gloated in the fact my MIL was not there, I simply said i'm done caring how she feels, as she doesn't care about us either. If that's gloating then I have a different interpritation of the word.
No I did not ask MIL to see pictures. I brought them for her to see if she wished. She decided not to. Fine. She'll deal in time, and i'm fine with that too. I know there's a chance of her finding out about my parents, and that's fine to, it's just something I wish not to talk to her about right now. How about one blow at a time?

H or Feb or Elizabeth, please close this if you can. I do'nt want to argue about this anymore. Altho i'm provoking by answering and defending, if no one can discuss I won't keep being provoked.
Thank you

[ladedah]

no one is provoking you, I'm merely expressing to you how it can look to people on the outside....