Brother/Sister dance???

[The future Mrs.]

Hi guys. Let me ask you what you think of this...

My dad is out of the picture and my mom has passed on. I wanted to have both my brothers involved in the wedding so I was going to have one walk me down the aisle and one do a dance with me (instead of father-daughter dance). I know he is a little nervous, and I don't know if I should cut it out all together or leave it in. If I leave it in, we might have people asking "why is she dancing with her brother? where is her father?"

what should i do? i need to find another way to get him involved if i cut this out... i don't even know if he would want to be a reader... i guess thats another option

Gina

[justnmary]

Why don't you have both walk you down the isle and then split the dance between the two of them? If your fathers not in the picture you needn't worry about him. So what if people talk. Not everyone knows the situation so you can't prevent the talk from happening. Just enjoy your day with your brothers.

[Julz518]

You could have them both walk to down the aisle, or each walk you half way... or you could make him a guest book attendant or something.

For the dance, you could do a "non-spotlighted" brother/sister dance... it might make him less nervous. Ask the DJ to play a special song "sometime" during the night, but not announce that it is special. Then you can dance with your brother while everyone else is dancing. I'm doing this for my father/daughter dance b/c Rick's mom passed away, so there won't be a mother/son dance (and he thinks it's wierd to dance with his sister). I didn't want to rub salt in his family's wounds by highlighting my dance.

[The future Mrs.]

haha i think my brother probably thinks its weird too... i feel like if we dance alone, there is too much attention on him and if we dance with others, its not "special". i wish there was some way we can make it shorter...
i am open to suggestions if anyone has a song thats not too mushy that would be appropriate... i was going to do an old frank sinatra song...

[feb-bride]

If you think your brother will be uncomfortable, what you can do is start out the song with just you and your brother(s), and then mid-way through the son, the DJ can open up the dance floor to everyone else.

By the way - You would not be the first one to have a brother/sister dance instead of a father/daughter dance.

[allisonw1400]

Originally Posted by feb-bride

If you think your brother will be uncomfortable, what you can do is start out the song with just you and your brother(s), and then mid-way through the son, the DJ can open up the dance floor to everyone else.

By the way - You would not be the first one to have a brother/sister dance instead of a father/daughter dance.

Yea, thats a good idea. My FH & I are very nervous about our first dance too so thats what we are doing. It takes the attention off of you guys. I think that is a great idea to incorporate your brothers into the wedding. I'm glad they are there for you!

[ringem1]

I agree with the ones above about letting both your brothers walk you down the aisle and then they both would be involved. That would be special I would think to you and both of them.

[NovemberGal]

Originally Posted by feb-bride

If you think your brother will be uncomfortable, what you can do is start out the song with just you and your brother(s), and then mid-way through the son, the DJ can open up the dance floor to everyone else.

This is what we did for our father/daughter & mother/son dances (done at the same time to Billy Joel's just the way you are...at the musical break in the song, we had the DJ invite everyone onto the dance floor, and had our wedding party prepped to take the lead so that folks would join us).

If your brother is nervous but it's important to you, I would suggest practice, practice, practice. If he's really uncomfortable, I wouldn't force him to do it.

And, no one will talk. Many of the people attending will already know the situation with your father, and those who don't will already have assumed, since he wasn't at the ceremony, that he's either dead or out of the picture. And you won't hear any comments, even if they make them to themselves. So don't worry about that. I think a brother/sister dance is a very nice idea; I also like the idea of splitting one song with both brothers, and having both walk you down the aisle.

[Brandonsgirl]

I would have both of them walk you down the aisle...one on each side...I think that would be cool, especially if they don't want to dance!

[KaileK]

I would have them both walk you down the aisle. I think that walking the bride down the aisle is a much bigger honor than a dance and I wouldnt want the dance brother to feel slighted, KWIM? I think having them escort you would be awesome!

As for the dance, I would probably have two separate dances in evening (not at the same time) where you danced with each brother!

[The future Mrs.]

the one walking me down the aisle is even more shy than the one i am supposed to dance with. i am walking down with John, the older of the two brothers.

Also, I hear it's awkward to walk down with two people at once and holding your bouquet. knowing me i might trip! i think it's a good idea to open it up half way through and encourage the bridal party to join.
Thats a good idea...

[Heather]

Hi Gina -

I had my two big brothers walk me down the aisle, then I danced with the oldest during the brother/sister dance. It wasn't awkward with the bouquet. I held it as I should, and then each of them took my upper arm. Toward the end of the aisle, they handed me over to my Mom, who placed my hand in Mike's.

For the dance, I used He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. After that I danced a 1/2 song with my other brother - not formally, but casually.

Don't worry about what other people think is strange/odd/unusual. Do what is important to you and honor the people you want to honor.