to get through it all

[muffin]

do you agree/disagree that it's not about how often or whether or not you argue or disagree with someone, it's how you get through those arguments/disagreements that predicts how well you'll do in the future?

or, do you think that if you are truly in love, arguments/disagreements should be few & far between and it makes no difference how you get through them because you avoid them all together?

i'd love to see some opinions

[KaileK]

I think its how you get through them vs. how often you get them!!!! Definateyl

[feb-bride]

It's how you get through them that counts - not the frequency. If I wanted to be married to someone who ALWAYS agreed with me, I would have married myself.

I have a hard time with couples who never argue or disagree because it just doesn't seem natural to me.

[Heather]

Agree with the above, and if you're "truly in love", you're still going to argue.

[muffin]

i think (and this is just my opinion) that some couples/marriages don't end up working because after the initial "puppy love" stage, when they get more comfortable and arguments may become more frequent - they freak out & give up quickly. they think it must be a disaster and both of them must've changed and fallen out of love & that's why they're fighting.

so they walk away from the relationship (whether married or not) because they think they're doomed.

i really wish people would stick it out and realize their marriage is going to take work, work, work.

i'm young (well, 23) but i understand marriage is an agreement to say, "sometimes i'm not going to like you. sometimes you won't like me. but we're always going to love each other. and we're always going to get through it. that's why we're getting married, because we're willing to take the bad times with the good."

that's what a marriage commitment means to me, anyway, among other things of course

[amberube]

You might be young but you sound like you have an older soul.

I agree that arguments are part of a relationship and it is only by arguing fairly and respectfully that you can come out of it and still hug each other once it is all said and done.

I find you can only do that if you have reached a certain maturity (as you seem to have).

[The future Mrs.]

yes i agree its how you get through them. I have to say, me and Jay argue A LOT but we still love each other so much. we NEVER name call or anything like that because that brings it to such a hurtful level. I am not proud to say we argue a lot, but we are both EXTREMELY strong personalities so we both always think we are right we are both leos haha

but anyways, its how you argue. we may be upset with each other for the moment, but you can tell there is still a lot of love there

Gina

[Marksbride]

I agree no matter how in love you are there is going to be arguements, but it's how you OVERCOME the problems that really matters!

[Dr. Nic]

Originally Posted by muffin

i really wish people would stick it out and realize their marriage is going to take work, work, work.

My opinion exactly. And I'm not even married! But my parents have been married for... 30 years now I think. Yep, I've seen arguments...but hey they get through it.

I'm not engaged either (yet). And I'm young (22), and so is my girlfriend (23) whom I plan to ask to marry me. We do have arguments. I can think of a time when we were out with some friends, she got mad and woudn't talk or even LOOK at me for half an hour straight, while we were riding around in the back of our friends' car (I think this scares a LOT of guys to death and they choose to bail out, and in many cases the woman will bail out too). This wasn't even an argument really, although we do have those every now and then. And we get through it. I know it may sound a tad cheesy, but honestly I feel after we get through a fight or major disagreement, our relationship seems even stronger than it was before.

Also, if she gets mad at me when I did nothing wrong, I don't appoligize for something I didn't do. If I did do something wrong, of course I am a gentleman about it and appologize. This is an interesting point, too. My girlfriend has told me several times "remember that time when I got mad at you for [insert title of wrongdoing here], and I stopped talking and wouldn't look at you, and you just sat there and said nothing to me? I'm glad you didn't appologize since you didn't do anything wrong...most guys would just start saying I'm sorry I'm sorry just to get me to talk again." Of course, when she is the one who was at fault, she does always appologize for it, too.

So I think it's great that we both take responsibility for our wrongdoings but don't appologize when we did nothing wrong (to me, that's the same thing as flat out lying).

Wow... this was a lot longer than I expected.

Anyway... my 2 cents.

Nic

[SerendipityCrafts]

LOL can I fence sit?

We rarely fight but I believe this has little to do with loving each other (as much as we do ) but more to do with how we communicate. More often than not, we are already on the same page bu,t when something comes up that we might disagree on, we normally work through it before it gets to the argument stage.

The few times where it has reached the "argument" stage is also when we believed we knew what the other is thinking.

[Kim&Bob2004]

Originally Posted by SerendipityCrafts

LO
The few times where it has reached the "argument" stage is also when we believed we knew what the other is thinking.

This is a big factor in most arguments, I think.