Opinion please.... - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

mrsd · #1 11-13-2007, 02:37 PM

I have a friend that I met through work a long time ago. We get together several times a year for lunch. During one of our lunches earlier this year I told her I was getting married in the summer. As it was the third time for both me and my fiancee we were keeping it family and our closest friends. She was happy for me and told me that as we were friends for so long she wanted to come to the wedding and basically invited herself. I was very surprised and did not have the heart to say no (my fault). On the day of the wedding she arrived with a friend and told me her husband backed out at the last minute and she thought it would be ok if she brought her friend as his dinner was already paid for. No big deal, but he never goes with her anywhere so she should have known this prior and responded for only herself. To keep our cost down we hired a photographer to take photos and provide us with the pictures on disk so that we could edit ourselves, ( my husband is also a photographer). When we received the disk I was stunned to see no less than 5-6 posed shots of my friend ( some of the settings were nicer than the ones of me, the bride). It turned out my friend asked the photographer to take some photos of her outside on the flowered grounds so that she could possibly purchase them later on. He also posted them on his website on the link for our wedding which really upset me and I asked him to remove them as I felt it showcased her and not the bride/groom and our familes. Am I being overly sensitive? What is your take on all this? Was she out of line more than once? She is a nice person but....?? What about the photographer? Sorry this is so long. Thank you.

Mrs. D

Sharon Naylor · #2 11-13-2007, 03:28 PM

Wow, what an opportunist she is! No, you're not being overly-sensitive. She was WAY out of line to ask the photographer to take portraits of her on your dime [and you were right to ask him to remove them -- great job!]. Plus, it was very rude of her to bring a friend 'since it was paid for.' She should have let you know her husband wasn't coming so that you could adjust the price with your caterer. She didn't even ask...that's so rude!

Your photographer isn't to blame here...he may have thought she was a sister or someone important, and he probably didn't want to cause a scene if she complained about his saying No.

I'm sorry to hear she took advantage of you on your wedding day. That's not the makings of a nice person. I know too many people like this, who are all out for themselves, and I know how aggravating it can be.
She was definitely out of line more than once...