Two Familes Two traditions - The PASH Wedding Forums and Message Boards

Mary2008Weds · #1 10-11-2007, 09:04 PM

I have a question. The grooms family has their own traditions and customs, and we have ours. Do you go with the brides or mix in a bit of the grooms? All or nothing so to speak?

Julz518 · #2 10-11-2007, 09:11 PM

It is competely up to you and your hubby - how attached are you each to the tradition? Can you imagine your wedding without it/Are you appaled at the thought of having it at your wedding? Is there a historical significance/special meaning to the tradition? Will someone be really hurt if you do not include it in your wedding (and do you care)?

For example, in my wedding we are doing the "cookie table" - which is a tradition of my FH's family and something my mom isn't fond of. But it has historical significance in his hungarian heritage and is something that his family can't imagine not having.

Mary2008Weds · #3 10-11-2007, 09:30 PM

whats a cookie table? Its sounds yummy!!!!

Well Fh family has several children half are married and they have their traditions that frankly are done for the sake of "show", know what I mean. BUt I think its the same thing in my family a bit. FH and I see the wedding and reception as a way for the family to celebrate by showing their friends and family our choice to commit to be husband and wife. So with that said we would like to please them both but without just throwing two traditions together and looking "thrown together". I really want a quick cermony, lol. do you? do you? Great lets celebrate.

Heather · #4 10-11-2007, 09:48 PM

We're very much on the same page as I just said in another post, lol. Our ceremony was 12 minutes long, lol. Quick, to the point and then to the party.

Definitely talk to FH and see what traditions he absolutely must have - and you do the same. The ceremony is the most important part, so both of you should stick together if either set of parents aren't happy with your choice. That's the one area where I wouldn't compromise.

Julz518 · #5 10-11-2007, 09:58 PM

If most of your traditions are in the ceremony, and you want a short ceremony... and if you want to have SOME tradition... maybe you could each pick your ONE favorite tradition and just do that... or make up YOUR OWN new tradition to pass on to your kids or something.

As for the cookie table:

It is a tradition passed down by imigrant families who could not afford to provide a cake for the wedding. Instead, the brides family would bring cookies to be the "something sweet". Now-a-days in our neck of the woods, the cookie table is USUALLY laid out and eaten with the hors d'ouvers (which I personally think is silly, but whatever). I've been to weddings in other "necks" where boxes are provided for people to take cookies home in - this is what we're gonna do instead of favors (though the cookies will be laid out in advance if people want to much).

For our wedding, since I don't have any family locally, FH's aunt have all offered to bake for me

And we'll have a cake in addition to make my family happy.

Mary2008Weds · #6 10-11-2007, 10:05 PM

i really like the cookie table idea. I think if I told me father about it he would love it.

Julz518 · #7 10-12-2007, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary2008Weds

i really like the cookie table idea. I think if I told me father about it he would love it.

Here's a link to a little more information on the "official" history of the cookie table, if you are interested: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Weddings-...okie-table.htm

Mary2008Weds · #8 10-12-2007, 07:34 PM

Oh thank you so much! I was chatting about to my father and we was really intersted in it. We both are always reading up on other cultures and traditions all around. I even thought it would be so neat to incorparate all the different customs in our wedding. We travel alot. Just ran that by him. lol

belle103 · #9 10-14-2007, 07:42 PM

I think its should be the mix of favs from both the sides so that the parents of either side dont feel bad about it.

Mary2008Weds · #10 10-15-2007, 07:27 PM

there have been so many ideas thrown at me and "special" things that people have mentioned they want so I think I will have a big party and invite everyone and their ideas and throw them in a hat and draw. Whats funny is all my married friends thought this was such a great idea.