Bridesmaids and MOH issues

[Asya]

I have been engaged officially now for about 8 months, my big day is coming up March 1st. I have a bridal party made up of my best friend (MOH) my two sisters and cousin (bridesmaids). When my fiancé and I decided it was time to get married I had no issue deciding who would be my MOH and bridesmaids.
My best friend (MOH) is another state away about a 3 hour drive from here, she has made it once to the dress trying on process and has not been back since. I am finding my consultant at the bridal shop insisting that I order before September 1st. I haven't had her measured in this shop and I have no idea what she will look like in the dress I have chosen. Not that it would be possible anyway because the bridal shop only had one and since my MOH is a plus size there is no way she would be able to get into the dress anyway! I am wondering if it is safe to have her measured somewhere and then just order the dress. I have no idea what to do otherwise.
As far as my bridesmaids I have had quite a few issues surrounding them as well. The first issue being money to pay for their dress. It always seems that something more important comes up and we end up having to push back when we can order their dresses. The deadline is coming shortly and they insist on waiting until the last minute which frankly scares me. I have no idea what to do, I have offered to pay for them and they wouldn't hear of it. Any suggestions? or maybe I am just being too paranoid about the bridal shop needing 5 months for the dresses to come in like that they told me. That does seem like an awful long time!
My next issue is lack of interest in helping me at all, sometimes frankly I feel like I am the only person who really cares about the wedding. My MOH is far away so I don't expect her to help me, but my sisters always seem to be busy when I ask for help. My mom passed away in 2003 so I have no mom to help and my Mother in law to be lives in Cleveland and has helped out as much as possible. Am I asking too much of my sisters to be more involved?
Sometimes this seems to weigh on me heavily, I feel like a burden to everyone around me which has made it hard for me to get more motivated and ahead in the planning. When the engagement was new I had such a great time planning now I am just afraid everyone around me will think I am asking too much from them. Is this normal?

[Montanabride]

My MOH and 2 of my 3 bridesmaids were 1600 miles away!! There was no way they could come to the shop out here and get measured. . no way. I just had them go to a dress shop locally and email or call the Bride Shoppe here in town with thier measurments. If you order them earlier enough, they can have alterations done if need be. . .which i suggested a friend do (if they know how to sew) It can get expensive. So that would work out just fine

As for you not getting very much help, sorry about that. We are here to help tho .. Like i said my family is ALL in Michigan and i am in Montana so i had hardly any help. But i managed. . just keep it simple and organized. One thing at a time and remember we all know a little something about weddings

Just give us some details and ask away . ..

[Heather]

Awwwww

You just got here and already this is going on! Well, I'm glad you found us because most of us have dealt with all of this in some way or another.

You're not asking too much of those whom you've asked to share your day. Not at all. But as a bride it can be hard to remember that not everyone shares our total enthusiasm, lol. Just keep doing what you're doing and if they don't get what they need done before the deadlines, do it for them and then just be paid back as they have suggested.

You can absolutely ask that your MOH be measured somewhere near her and then send you the measurements. It's very common to do that for both BMs and groomsmen and most shops should be accomodating.

Five months is about average for the ordering process. You have to factor in time for alterations to be made.

Good luck and we're here for you!

[Leslee&Jake]

[TheaterDiva1]

Originally Posted by Asya

My best friend (MOH) is another state away about a 3 hour drive from here, she has made it once to the dress trying on process and has not been back since. I am finding my consultant at the bridal shop insisting that I order before September 1st. I haven't had her measured in this shop and I have no idea what she will look like in the dress I have chosen. Not that it would be possible anyway because the bridal shop only had one and since my MOH is a plus size there is no way she would be able to get into the dress anyway! I am wondering if it is safe to have her measured somewhere and then just order the dress. I have no idea what to do otherwise.

My MOH lives in AK (I'm in NY), and she did her own measurements, then gave them to the salesgirl at my bridal shop over the phone (along with CC info). Luckily, all my BM's were similarly shaped, so I only needed one local BM to try on the dress.

And five months sounds reasonable - you still have to allow time for alterations. I ordered ours in October (2003), and they came in the following June (for a September 2004 wedding) - and that's before alterations!

[Asya]

Originally Posted by Montanabride

My MOH and 2 of my 3 bridesmaids were 1600 miles away!! There was no way they could come to the shop out here and get measured. . no way. I just had them go to a dress shop locally and email or call the Bride Shoppe here in town with thier measurments. If you order them earlier enough, they can have alterations done if need be. . .which i suggested a friend do (if they know how to sew) It can get expensive. So that would work out just fine

As for you not getting very much help, sorry about that. We are here to help tho .. Like i said my family is ALL in Michigan and i am in Montana so i had hardly any help. But i managed. . just keep it simple and organized. One thing at a time and remember we all know a little something about weddings

Just give us some details and ask away . ..

Thanks for offering help! I don't have very many female friends to lean on around here! As far as alterations go I ordered my dress with a prepaid alterations package which knocked the price of my dress up to 900.00 which is more then I originally wanted to pay but what the heck right?
It's like only one of the most important days in my life I want to look special and pretty! BTW if anyone wants to see my dress I can show you pictures!
They offer this in the BM's dresses as well so I am hoping that they get it so that it will not be an issue later on!

[Asya]

[quote=Heather]Awwwww

You just got here and already this is going on! Well, I'm glad you found us because most of us have dealt with all of this in some way or another.

You're not asking too much of those whom you've asked to share your day. Not at all. But as a bride it can be hard to remember that not everyone shares our total enthusiasm, lol. Just keep doing what you're doing and if they don't get what they need done before the deadlines, do it for them and then just be paid back as they have suggested.

[quote]

This makes me feel so nice! Since my mom died it's been really hard for me, I think planning a wedding without her is my biggest challenge. She was a very crafty and take charge kind of person, lucky for me so in my mother in law to be. I just have to keep in mind that I guess that everyone around me wants to help, I just have to ask for it! Thanks for your support! I am looking forward to hearing your advice in the future!

[Asya]

Originally Posted by TheaterDiva1

My MOH lives in AK (I'm in NY), and she did her own measurements, then gave them to the salesgirl at my bridal shop over the phone (along with CC info). Luckily, all my BM's were similarly shaped, so I only needed one local BM to try on the dress.

And five months sounds reasonable - you still have to allow time for alterations. I ordered ours in October (2003), and they came in the following June (for a September 2004 wedding) - and that's before alterations!

Wow I thought I had it rough, but this really eases my fears!!! Thanks a bunch!!!!

[Montanabride]

You are welcome!!

And YES we LOVE pictures

I think it sucks that you have to have alterations at alll, i mean you spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on a dress that you get fitted for. . . and it takes x amount of time to come in and find out oooh the bust is too big or small ect. .. I mean come on .. they just see dollar signs when they see brides. ( little annoyed by it can ya tell!)

Whatever tho. ..

Ok well, post some pics girlie!

[Asya]

Update:

Everyone finally has their dresses ordered! My sister was late of course! (I wanted to have them ordered before September 1st and she didn't until September 1st)

My next worry in the flower girl dress but that one is on me, since she is with me every weekend and is my soon to be step daugher. So does anyone know what is better for kids dresses? Ordering them online or actually buying them in the store?

[feb-bride]

Originally Posted by Asya

My next worry in the flower girl dress but that one is on me, since she is with me every weekend and is my soon to be step daugher. So does anyone know what is better for kids dresses? Ordering them online or actually buying them in the store?

In my opinion, you're better off having her try on dresses in person. Kids' sizes vary pretty widely by manufacturer.

[RJE080703]

I took my 4 year old FG to the Davids Bridal shop and tried on several different styles and sizes. Come to find out she wears a 2!! But after finding her size, I then ordered her a DB dress of ebay. It fits perfectly, just like the 2's in the store did. And it only cost me $50! And the original was well over $100!

[TheaterDiva1]

Originally Posted by Asya

My next worry in the flower girl dress but that one is on me, since she is with me every weekend and is my soon to be step daugher. So does anyone know what is better for kids dresses? Ordering them online or actually buying them in the store?

How old is she? You don't want to order her dress too early - kids outgrow clothes so quickly. You may be better buying off the rack a month before, then having it altered (instead of ordering and waiting for it to come in). And, as feb-bride pointed out, in person is better than online.

[Asya]

Originally Posted by TheaterDiva1

How old is she? You don't want to order her dress too early - kids outgrow clothes so quickly. You may be better buying off the rack a month before, then having it altered (instead of ordering and waiting for it to come in). And, as feb-bride pointed out, in person is better than online.

She is almost 9 and growing everyday. Her growing too quickly is my main concern. I am not even sure where I could get one off the rack because every shop I have been to so far you have to order in advance.

[litlbit]

For flower girls you can always try stores like Macy's or even Target. Since you're getting married in March you can probably even catch the early Easter dresses. My junior bridesmaid is nine also and we're worried about her growing too much by April. I may have hers custom made to coordinate with the bridesmaids though.

But I would DEFINITELY recommend department stores!

Funny, I was going to suggest the same thing about Easter dresses. If you are just looking for a cutesy dress in white or another pastel color, my guess is you would be in luck.

Caveat, if you live in a cold-weather winter area, I don't know how early the stores bring out their Easter lines (and your wedding is Mar 1, or am I wrong?). Maybe you'd want to inquire with a store or two? (I remember seeing Easter dresses marketed very early in the temperate Central Coast of CA, but what is availible in February here in the great white north is a little different).

[Julz518]

My neice is going to be a FG in a wedding this coming October... we found her dress at Goodwill for $1!

If you think about it, kids grow so fast, that most of the "fancy" clothes at thrift stores have only been worn once (if even that - i saw a lot of clothes with tags still on!). So if it's too early for Easter dresses at the department store, try a few thrift stores in your area.