how to include soon to be step children

[treasia]

ok, you are right, this site has become addictive to me. haha. now can anyone tell me the proper way to include the soon to be step children in the wedding? the ages are: girl age 8 and boy age 6. i thought about seeing if the daughter would be my flower girl and the boy be the candle lighter, but at age 6 i worry about this. my soon to be intended groom says whatever i want honey. ain't that just like a man. i want my daughter who is 16 to stand up for me along with my sister, and my grandson of 3 to be ring bearer. but do not want his children to be left out. does anyone have any suggestions???? this is supposed to be simple small ceremony with close family and friends as well. but looks like most will be in wedding instead of just watching it.

thanks,
treasia

[kenzies_mama]

I'm not sure, but I am having one of his cousins who is 7 and who's sister is the flower girl be a greeter, she felt left out and her reading skills aren't very strong. You could make him a mini groomsman, not traditional but who cares.

[ljeagle]

Why not have them stand beside there father. I have seen this a lot of times 6 years old is a little to little to be lighten candles. I would have them a part in the wedding just as important as your girl.

[treasia]

this might work. thanks for the advice for me. i just don't want to leave anyone out, especially since it is the combining of two families.

treasia

[treasia]

once again i like this idea even better. since i have my daughter and sister standing with me and groom only has brother this could work out well. still let step daughter be flower girl.

i like it.

treasia

[treasia]

this site just keeps getting better and better. ya'll (yes i am southern) know your stuff. don't want it to formal, but small intimate and family and close friends. thanks one and all.

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Yeah, I wouldn't give a 6-year-old fire!

You *could* have two ring bearers. Have your SS and your GS each carry one ring.

Or, what I'm doing to include my kids is a family medallion type ceremony. (Only, I'm not using the Family Medallion--other necklaces instead.) This is where you say vows to his children and he says vows to your children. I think it's a really touching way to make it about the families coming together. If you've never heard of it, I can look up and post some more information for you if you're interested.

[Mrs.Levitt]

Originally Posted by Marrying_the_Good_Husband

Yeah, I wouldn't give a 6-year-old fire!

You *could* have two ring bearers. Have your SS and your GS each carry one ring.

Or, what I'm doing to include my kids is a family medallion type ceremony. (Only, I'm not using the Family Medallion--other necklaces instead.) This is where you say vows to his children and he says vows to your children. I think it's a really touching way to make it about the families coming together. If you've never heard of it, I can look up and post some more information for you if you're interested.

We are doing the Family Ceremony thing too. He has 2 girls 6 and 8 and I have a son who's 9. The girls are the flower girls and my son is the ring bearer. after we say our vows then the children will come to the front and we will say our vows to them and present them with a gift. (We are not doing the actual Family Medallions either) I think its a great way to say I not only love and cherish your dad but I love and cherish you too.

[Complicated Woman]

At 6, if he had someone older to help him, I think he could probably light the candles fine.

We have an Advent service at our church in which children light the candles of the advent wreath; we use one of those very long lighter/candle snuffers and have a parent go up with them.

[cru5h]

We're having all four of our children (2 his 2 mine) stand up with us when we get married. His daughters are technically my bridesmaids, and my sons are the ring bearers, but we will all end up together for the ceremony.

[swtdl11552]

Wow you girls all have the greatest solutions to every problem. My two sons are 9 & 5 - well, they'll likely be 10- & 6 at the wedding. I think for them I will have them either stand with my fiance, or walk with me down the aisle. It is my 2nd wedding so it won't be quite as traditional...more "emotional and spiritual". I think maybe talk to his kids...tell them that you would love for them to be a part of the whole ceremony b/c its so important to you, and ask them what they would be comfortable doing. give them a couple of options... they might surprise you and have a few ideas of their own. Remember to be open-minded with kids...what is important to them may not seem traditional or important to us, so be prepared for whatever suggestions they make. HAHA - hopefully they won't say "I don't know, you figure it out" like their Dad though

Hope it helps!

[feb-bride]

There's no reason why you can't have two ring bearers. That's probably what I'd do.

[cru5h]

Originally Posted by feb-bride

There's no reason why you can't have two ring bearers. That's probably what I'd do.

Yup, we've got 2. Now we just can't decide who will give which ring

[Marrying_the_Good_Husband]

Originally Posted by cru5h

Yup, we've got 2. Now we just can't decide who will give which ring

That's when you just mix 'em up behind your back and say each pick a hand!

[cru5h]

Probably.

[treasia]

what a great idea for two ring bearers. I will run this past my fiance and see what he thinks of the idea and run it past my step son as well. I had not thougth of that. Not thinking to much out of box these days. Right now at my house packing up. Moving in early to get out from under some bills and sick and tired of driving back and forth on weekends.

I love all the great ideas you girls come up with. Keep em coming.

Treasia

[Jazi94]

I made my daughter the Jr. Maid of Honor (made up title I know, but I think it fits), and my sister is the maid of honor.
We are giving my daughter a necklace that matches our rings during the ceremony (although I'm not exactly sure how we're doing that yet).
That's another idea though...you can present them with a gift after you exchange your rings with each other.

[breezy]

DF has 3 girls and they will be acting as our wedding party. Jr Bridesmaids is their title... since they had to have one to make them feel important

We are actually going to have 3 rings. I am having one on either side of my e-ring and his band. I hadn't thought of them each carring a ring... think I might have to use that idea.

We are doing a sand blending ceremony. (we altered these vows to suit our tastes)

Sand Blending
As you each hold your sand the separate containers of sand represent your lives to this moment
Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. Each can stand on it’s own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when they are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. Please pour the sand into this common container to symbolize your union as a family.
As each individual’s sand is poured into the family’s one united common container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will become the bond with your family
The life that each of you experienced now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the five shall become one.
from these two families, the new emerges from the old… the present from the past.

I think I am going to have our big glass container etched with these words
“just as these grains of sand can never be separated, so will our family be” and then put our names and date on the back.

With something like this for our individual vows to them:
Each of you are a precious to us both, and today We promise to be there for you always, to comfort you and care for you, to protec you and provide for you. We each promise to guide you and listen to you and most of all to love you with all of our hearts from this day forth as a loving family.

[justnmary]

That is such a wonderful idea.....very touching.