When the limo pulled up to the church my bridesmaids and I were quickly ushered to the library by Cindy, the church wedding coordinator, so that Aaron wouldn’t see us. At this point I was still feeling a little woozy, which made me extremely grateful for the “special moment” Aaron and I would share before the ceremony. I don’t know what I would have done if the first time I saw him was on the altar—I probably would have passed out.

I was worried that the “special moment” would be too intense, but it was actually really nice. Aaron waited in the church’s chapel while the photographer and videographer got set up. Then I walked in and tapped Aaron on the shoulder. He turned around and it was then that we saw each other for the first time. Aaron looked so dapper, and he LOVED my wedding dress! It was a very sweet moment—not too gushy or emotional, but something nice and private for us to share in the midst of a very public event.

After we took a few pictures, I went back to the library and hung out with the bridesmaids. My sister found a book on Bible trivia, which she read out loud in order to calm my nerves (sample question: “Which disciple wore clothing made of camel hair?” Answer: John). A few minutes later, we were whisked off to the sanctuary where the entire wedding party plus my dad waited out of sight before we walked down the aisle.

I had told my dad that I was really worried that either he or I was going to lose it before we walked down the aisle together. We came up with the idea of having a code word to signal when we were starting to feel choked up, and this code word would remind us of something funny that would keep us from crying. We decided on the word “corncob,” to remind us of the time we drove up to Vassar College and saw hundreds of squirrels inexplicably munching on corncobs. He later shared this during his welcome toast at the reception, but what he didn’t share was the fact that “corn cob” wasn’t doing it’s job right before the ceremony. Instead, I resorted to telling him jokes from “Family Guy” and through that we were able to get through those few minutes before the ceremony.

How do you describe walking down the aisle after you’ve dreamed of that moment for so long? It was surreal. I didn’t cry. I remember beaming at the few faces I could make out in the congregation. Then I was at the altar and my dad responded to the pastor’s question with, “Her mother and I.” Dad took my hand and placed it in Aaron’s. Then we walked to the altar together and held each other’s hands.

Between the vows, homily, communion, Judy and Sylvan’s fabulous readings, and the lighting of the unity candle, the ceremony took almost 40 minutes but I must have been in some sort of time warp because I swore that we had been up there for about 5 minutes (to the point that I had to have people reassure me that the full ceremony had indeed taken place). Our pastor, Arvin, did a fantastic job. There were so many little things that he included that just meant the world to me and a number of other people there. During the prayer he was extremely inclusive: he asked that the people of faith say a prayer for Aaron and I while those who were not of faith meditate on peaceful thoughts. He also mentioned how the joining of our two families involved both definitions of “catholic”—both the Roman Catholic church and the use of that word in the more universal sense. I wish I could remember some of the other parts, but I’m going to have to wait until our wedding video is done!

The entire family then migrated back to the sanctuary to take a bunch of family pictures, and then it was on to the reception!

Here are a few pictures from the ceremony. This is a picture of Aaron and I after we first arrived at the altar. You can just see Janay and Elise on the left, and Sylvan and Justin are on the far right. Arvin is just to the left of me.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Here we are being presented as husband and wife. You can now see Quentin and my brother Steven on the right.

This week, we’ve found ourselves with a ballooning guest list—we’re currently at 253 people! The problem is, we’ve only budgeted for 175 people. I know that because so may people have to travel to Indiana, a lot won’t show up, but how can you really estimate how many guests will come?

We need to give our calligrapher the names and addresses next week so it’s crunch time with this list. This conundrum is my fault—the wedding is in my hometown so I feel that I need to invite a lot of people. I want to invite several of my friends’ parents and we had been thinking about inviting children, so that’s adding to the total.

So I’ve been on the phone with my mom a few times this week trying to figure out how we can get the list down. Today, I decided that unfortunately, we just can’t invite children (exceptions: the kids in the wedding party and family). The more children we have, the more chairs we need, the more tables we need, and of course, the more centerpieces and favors we need. Not that I don’t want my friends’ kids there—I do!—it’s just a matter of needing to stick with the budget.

I’d heard that cutting the guest list is hard, but I didn’t now how hard it was until this week!

The day before my wedding, my sister, her college roommate, Julie, and my best friends Melissa and Emily W. went out to brunch and then to see the Sex and the City movie. It was such a perfect pre-wedding activity except for the fact that **SPOILER ALERT** it got me scared that Paul wouldn’t show up to marry me the next day (he assured me he would). Afterward, we got our nails done, I went to the mall with Paul so he could buy sunglasses for our honeymoon, my mom made a tortellini dinner for everyone, and soon, I was fast asleep, thanks to some sniffle-stifling Nyquil.

Eight hours later, my door opened. Before I could fully rouse out of my Nyquil-induced slumber, my mom cheered, “Happy wedding day!” as she, Emily W., and my sister holding my dog, Skippy, marched into my bedroom. I rubbed my eyes. They were videotaping my wake-up. I looked outside. Gray sky.

I ate a  muffin and showered. Emily H. arrived as I got out. We left specific instructions for my dad about what to do when the florist arrived, then headed to the salon.

After having to switch parking spots because some crazy woman insisted we were blocking her driveway, I was inside getting my hair done. Even once the veil was in, it didn’t feel like my wedding day; it just felt like another trial. Soon, I was walking downstairs to get my makeup. I passed some windows. The gray sky had turned black and it was pouring rain. Somehow, I didn’t freak out. Emily W. called my sister from my house to say the flowers arrived and the roses for our flower ceremony were red and white, not purple as I had requested. Somehow, I didn’t freak out. I had become so accustomed to things going wrong that, unless the hall burned down, nothing was going to bother me that much.

Emily H. sat with me as layers of makeup gave color to my pale face. After applying lashes, I was ready to look in the mirror. Though I still didn’t feel like a bride, I felt pretty, which was half the battle.

We left. It was hot and sticky out, but I wasn’t complaining because the rain had subsided. Melissa and Emily W. were getting ready in my living room when we came home. I checked out the flowers in the dining room. The bridesmaids’ bouquets were gorgeous. My bouquet was not quite to my liking (instead of mostly purple, it was mostly white with pink). But it was time to get dressed, so I couldn’t dwell on the flower situation.

I shimmied into my spanx, poured myself into my corset, then walked downstairs to check on Emily and Melissa’s progress. I must admit: It was fun to run around my house with full hair and makeup in my underwear. Once everyone else was dressed, my mom and four bridesmaids helped me into my gown, a complicated process. I clipped on my earrings, slipped on my bracelet and shoes, and slowly descended three staircases as my train was carried behind me.

The limo was waiting, as were a gaggle of neighbors. I felt like a local celebrity, not someone who was about to get married. We loaded into the limo and were off to Watchung Lake, a park near the hall, for our photo session. The sky looked threatening the whole way there, but I was with my family and my best friends in the world on the way to marry the boy I wanted to marry for almost 13 years. I was feelin’ fine.

More wedding photos next week! I promise!

Weddings are such funny things. You dream about them your entire life, you spend over a year planning the big day down to the last detail, and then suddenly . . . it’s all over! If I hadn’t had such an unbelievably fabulous wedding weekend, I might be a bit depressed right now. But everything went so above and beyond my expectations that I am still basking in the afterglow.

The festivities started on Friday night, when the family gathered to attend the rehearsal, go to the rehearsal dinner, and then join the other wedding guests at the Toll House Hotel for the dessert reception. I wore my Banana Republic dress despite the suffocating heat—I mean, there was no way I was NOT going to wear that dress. Everyone showed up on time and the rehearsal went very smoothly. The only minor problem was that I forgot to grab the bridesmaids’ gifts (little cosmetic bags with perfume, nail polish, and mints inside) and my mom’s gift (a gold fleur-de-lis necklace), so my dad had to rush me back to the house to get them before we went to the rehearsal dinner. I was stressing hardcore, but we got there just in time and so I calmed down after that. Oh, and there was also a huge fire in the Santa Cruz mountains that day, so this huge cloud of smoke blew over the area and turned the sun red. I was worried that it was some sort of apocalyptic sign, but apparently not.

The rehearsal dinner and reception was amazing—Aaron and his family deserve a big round of applause for what they put together. At the dinner they served crab cakes, salad, and mini hamburgers as an appetizer, followed by filet and the most delicious chicken I’ve ever had (and I’ve had a lot of chicken). When we were finished, we walked a few steps to the Toll House courtyard to greet our guests. To our surprise, over a hundred of them showed up! This turned out to be great because it meant that Aaron and I could say hello to almost all of our relatives and family friends and not worry about tracking them down at the reception.

The next day, my sister, mom, and I woke up bright and early, picked up the three other bridesmaids, and drove to the salon to get our hair and makeup done. I was surprisingly calm, mostly because the morning of your wedding is a very surreal time and I wasn’t entirely convinced that it was actually happening. After that, we drove back to the house and put on our dresses. Well, the bridesmaids all put on their dresses independently, but I had to wait to put on mine because the photographer and videographer wanted to take getting-ready shots. There were only a few times when I thought I was going to cry uncontrollably or throw up, and that moment when I got zipped up was one of them. Suddenly my dress felt very tight and I was being whisked away to the front yard to take pictures and it hit me all at once. Luckily, I recovered, and did not cry or throw up, and then I got in the limo and we were off to the church.

Here are a few pictures from the wedding reception. I promise that I will post more as I get them! Here is a picture of my sister/maid of honor Elise, my mom, and I:

Here is a picture of me with my cousin Callie:

Here I am with a bunch of my girlfriends from college. My bridesmaid Lindsay is on the far left:

A few weekends ago, Justin and I had some down time, so I started surfing iTunes, listening to music that we might play at the reception. I trust our DJ—John Lawson of Footloose Sounds in Terre Haute, Ind.—to play fun party music, but I also want to make the reception personal and play some of our favorite songs during the night. Well, now my list is seven pages long—I guess I like music more than I thought! Here’s a sampling of some of my must-plays (and must-not-plays!):

Must-Plays:
Dinner music:
At Last by Etta James
#34 by Dave Matthews Band
One Love by Bob Marley
When I’m Sixty-Four by Beatles

Slow songs:
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith
In My Life by The Beatles
I Could Not Ask for More by Sara Evans
Amazed by Lonestar

Fun songs:
Small Town by John Mellencamp (Mellencamp is from Indiana and we always listened to him in college. And, I was—by New York City standards—born in a small town)
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Indiana University Fight Song
American Girl by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Do Not Play:
Chicken Dance
Macarena

I know that some people love the Chicken Dance and other such songs, but they’re just not me. However, if someone wants to request the Electric Slide, that one’s not too bad and I’ll “let it slide.” I just want my guests to have fun!

With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, I wanted to dedicate this post my dad, and recognize everything he’s done for Justin and I in the past few months. He’s been an amazing father-of-the-bride—he’s come with us to meet with vendors and our wedding planner, he went to our food tasting and site visit, met with possible photographers, worked on the budget and even helping me pick out invitations. And I’m sure in the coming months, he’ll continue to be there for us and help every step of the way. Here’s a picture of my dad and I when I was a baby; I love it!

Some other very important fathers will be at my wedding. I’m so happy that my Dad’s dad, my Grandpa, will be able to make it. He’s in his late-80s, but he’s still moving around pretty well. He’s such a sweet man and I can’t wait to have him sitting up front at my ceremony.

Then there’s my brother, who’s a wonderful dad to my 3-year-old nephew, Nolan. Andy has done a great job of molding Nolan into a sweet, fun-loving and (usually) obedient boy. Andy will be a groomsmen.

Another important dad in my life is my father-in-law-to-be, Jeff. Jeff is a nice, caring, funny guy—and he’s always supportive of Justin and I.

Happy Father’s Day guys!

Well, we did it. Paul and I are officially husband and wife (assuming our marriage certificate was filed properly!). And it all went off with surprisingly little drama.

But not before some this-stuff-only-happens-to-us stuff.

The Thursday before our wedding, I rode with my parents and sister to the Marina Cafe, an oceanside restaurant in Staten Island that was hosting our rehearsal dinner. When we arrived, the parking situation was bleak. A valet told us that they were out of spots. I told him we had a reservation for 18 people and it was my wedding rehearsal dinner. Surely there were spaces for our party. “You’ll need to find street parking.” My dad dropped us off while he searched.

We walked in, and I saw that most of the party had arrived. They were all standing around. I felt badly that they didn’t sit down at the table yet! Then I found out why. I can’t remember who told me or how they broke the news, but the restaurant was in the middle of a blackout and they weren’t seating anyone anymore. They wouldn’t be serving us dinner that night. Or, rather, they could bring out bread and some cold appetizers, but we’d have to eat in the dark without A/C. Not exactly how we imagined our rehearsal dinner.

Part of me couldn’t believe it was happening. The other part thought I should have foreseen this. Something went wrong with every single aspect of our wedding (”Except the flowers,” Paul reassured me, which was true, until we learned–just hours before the wedding–that my favorite flower, anemones, would no longer be available to be in the bouquets as planned); why would the rehearsal dinner be an exception?

The scene was chaotic. We were racking our brains trying to think of other restaurants. We all thought someone was making calls, when, in fact, no one was. People were growing impatient and yelling. Finally, my mom dialed up some places on her cell phone. One we tried had also lost power. Another couldn’t seat our huge party. Finally, a woman at the restaurant had a suggestion. No one had heard of the place, but they had a table for us, so we went on our way.

It was also beachside, but a lot more casual. Everyone sat down in a way that wasn’t conducive to my family and the bridesmaids talking to the groomsmen. And there was this gross Staten Island couple making out fairly hardcore right outside. But soon, none of this mattered.

The Italian food was really, really good. There was plenty of sangria to go around. And dessert was pretty heavenly, too. More importantly, all of my bridesmaids (except Paul’s older sister), all of the groomsmen, and both sets of parents were all in one place enjoying themselves. Maybe it was the booze, but for one of the first times, I was feeling like I could actually have fun at the wedding. I stopped dreading the day and all the potential disasters that could arise. It was quite the accomplishment.

Countdown to the wedding: 6 days

I’ve been very cool and collected since we arrived back in California, but yesterday all the stress caught up to me and I just about lost it. First, I went on a power walk with my dad and I burst into tears over nothing. Then I kept randomly choking up while I was trying to get some work done at the Border’s café. I was afraid that I was going to go completely insane, but luckily it was the evening of my bachelorette party, and the festivities were just what the doctor ordered.

My sister/maid of honor Elise organized the entire thing and she did a fabulous job. Everyone braved the ridiculous parking at Santana Row in San Jose (Northern California’s version of Rodeo Drive) to meet up at Sino, a great Asian restaurant that thinks it’s a club. My bridesmaid Lindsay was there, as was Alice, one of my dear friends from freshman year, along with Amanda, Katie, Jessica, and Kaitlin, my friends from senior year of college, as well as Christine, my sorority sister and roommate at Oxford. Christine drove in all the way from Sacramento and Lindsay came down from San Francisco—thanks so much for making the trip, everyone!

We got a bunch of great food and chatted about everything under the sun. I hadn’t caught up with most of these people since my bridal shower, and it was so nice to just sit and relax and feel celebrated. It also calmed my nerves a bit about the actual wedding day—if all these people are going to be there to cheer me on, what is there to worry about?

We’ve accomplished so much since we’ve been back, but there’s still so much more to do. The seating assignments took a whopping five hours, so hopefully everything else will be minor in comparison to that. My mom enlisted the help of her friend Chris to tie magenta-colored ribbons on the wedding programs and they look absolutely incredible. What I really need to focus on now is the last-minute prep work, like packing for the honeymoon, making sure that everyone knows about logistics, etc.

This will be my last blog post before the wedding, and I would like to extend a huge thank you to everyone who has followed along with this blog over the past year. It’s been so great to hear from the friends and family members who have read my postings, and even more exciting when someone I don’t know well (or at all) takes an interest in the events leading up to my wedding. You all have been such a source of support over the past few months. I can’t wait to tell you all about the big day!

I was a bridesmaid in an absolutely lovely wedding this past weekend. Me and the other girls in the bridal party really rallied together (I think! I hope!) and did everything we could to make the bride’s day go smoothly. It got me thinking about how glad I’ll be to have my bridesmaids there to help me on my big day. Here’s my lineup:

Maid of Honor: CC, my best friend from high school
Matron of Honor: Becky, another great friend from high school
Bridesmaid: Vickie, my sister-in-law (my brother’s wife)
Bridesmaid: Meredith, my best friend in New York City
Bridesmaid: Alex, my sister-in-law-to-be (Justin’s sister)

These girls have already helped me so much–they’ve helped me find my wedding dress, started planning showers and parties, brainstormed ideas with me, and so on.

The girls will be in simple but beautiful Alfred Angelo teal dresses. I really wanted to pick dresses that would be flattering on all the girls, and luckily, they all seem to like them. They all mentioned that they love the color, and that they like the style and the fit. Here’s a pic of them!

Photo courtesy of Alfredangelo.com

Countdown to the wedding: 12 days

After a 45-minute delay, a 30-minute wait on the runway, and a 6-hour and 20-minute flight, we finally arrived in California at 11:30 PM on Saturday. There was minor turbulence, which means that I freaked out and sobbingly held Aaron’s hand in a death grip until things settled down. But we arrived on the ground safely, as did our luggage, which held a few memories from our yearlong adventure in New York as well as the worldly possessions we will use to start our new life on the West Coast.

The past week was a whirlwind of cardboard boxes, last-minute preparations, and sad goodbyes with our friends. I feel good about leaving Manhattan on a high note. I feel a great sense of accomplishment about surviving a year in such a crazy, fascinating city, about finding a great group of friends and taking full advantage of career opportunities we wouldn’t have had in the Bay Area. We decided to spend our last two nights in Union Square, which turned out to be a great idea because it felt like we were on vacation as opposed to biding our time before we moved across the country.

It feels wonderful to be back in California. Aaron and I are staying with my family until the wedding, and I couldn’t be happier. It makes it easier to do all of the wedding stuff we need to get done, and we get to hang out and enjoy Los Gatos before the big day. I missed my family so much and it means so much to me to be able to be near them right now. Between being around loved ones and basking in the lovely weather and preparing for my wedding—I really couldn’t be happier right now.

Yesterday we started our apartment hunt by checking out one place in Mountain View that we found on Craigslist. The owner chose us as their first pick for tenants, but we decided to turn it down because the location was a bit far away from the heart of the town. It was a tough decision—I mean, how great would it be to have our apartment ready for us right now?—but it was the right decision and it gave us the confidence that we’ll be able to find another place that fits our needs even better.

There is so much to be done over the next twelve days. Today my mother, brother, and I went to finalize the design for the wedding cake (we also decided that we needed to sample the cake flavors one last time). Later this evening we’re going to finish writing the program, and then tomorrow I have a hair appointment, then later we’re meeting with the caterers . . . and so on and so on. It feels so surreal to have less than two weeks to go until the wedding. Remember when my countdown used to be in the triple digits? The past few months have absolutely flown by.

I think the best thing about being in California is that I feel like I’ve come home. I didn’t know if that would be the case, but it is. I’m home. And I’m getting married!