Months ago, we decided to book a string trio (a violin, cello and viola or another violin) to play music at our wedding ceremony. We were going to have a DJ play CDs of wedding music to save some cash, but then we crunched the numbers and realized it was only a few hundred more dollars to have live string musicians play. I’m super-excited about this…I think it’s going to sound gorgeous and seem a bit fancier than playing CDs.

The trio’s leader sent us some suggestions for songs for the ceremony, and here’s what we’re thinking about doing (I still have plenty of songs to listen to, so this might change):

Prelude:
“Spring” by Vivaldi
“The Prince of Denmark’s March” by Clarke
For the rest of the prelude, I might have the trio just pick whatever they want to play

Seating of Mothers:
“Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” by Bach

Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Ring Bearer and Flower Girl enter:
“Air” by Bach

Processional (aka, my entrance!):
“Bridal March” by Wagner (the “Here Comes the Bride” song!)

Interlude:
I don’t think we’ll have one because we’re not doing a unity candle as of right now.

Recessional (right after we kiss and walk down the aisle as a married couple):
“Eine Kleine Nacht Musik” by Mozart—not the traditional “Wedding March” by Mendelssohn; this one seemed more upbeat to us

These are all traditional, classic wedding songs. Part of me wants to have cool, modern picks, but I want to use our string musicians to the best of their abilities. Plus, we have plenty of chances to play more modern songs during the cocktail hour and reception.

“You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather.” So true, Outkast. So true.

I wasn’t feeling well since last Thursday, so I planned on sleeping all day on Saturday. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. It was my sister. “Get dressed,” she ordered.

I took a shower, put on the fuschia-and-white outfit I was told to wear, and applied lots of makeup to cover my pale face. It was my bachelorette party and I had a nasty cold.

My parents dropped me, my sister, and my bridesmaid, Emily, off in downtown Manhattan. We walked into a place that looked more like a strip club than the Japanese restaurant it was. My other bridesmaids, Emily and Melissa, were waiting for us at a table Emily had decorated with glasses filled with hot pink carnations and gerbera daisies. Black-and-white gift bags filled with pink-foil wrapped chocolates, pink and black jewelry, and black-and-white picture frames waited for the arriving guests at their seats. But the main reason we were there was to do karaoke. Too bad my voice was gone from all the coughing I was doing.

More of my friends showed up, and we started singing. It was fun, but, usually, I try (very hard) to sing well on karaoke outings, and it just wasn’t happening with this cold. It was supremely frustrating. Rather than be miserable, I talk-sang through and wildly danced to “Love Shack” and “Baby Got Back,” which was a good time.

The most surprising part was just how fun it was to walk around outside wearing a tiara, a veil, a hot pink “Bride-to-be” sash, and giant plastic flower earrings that weren’t really earrings, with an entourage dressed in black and fuchsia. We caught the eye of Marines visiting for Fleet Week and many subway riders.

We stopped off at a random bar in Union Square to dance for a bit (where I knocked over some guy’s drink which landed on my friend, Kerry) and then ended the night at Max Brenner’s Chocolate by the Bald Man for some delicious chocolate chip cookies and other decadent desserts.

I enjoyed getting silly with my friends, even though I had barely a sip of alcohol, but I couldn’t help but be mad at myself for not stressing less and resting more in the preceding weeks, the combination of which surely weakened my immune system. Then again, maybe coming down with something the week before my wedding was out of my control.

Outkast was right. No matter how carefully you prepare, something out of your control can happen, like the fact that it’s supposed to rain on my wedding day. I always thought it might happen (it’s just my luck, right?), but I thought there was a glimmer of hope for a happy, smiling sun when I checked the forecast the other day. No such luck.

But in the end, rain or not, Paul and I will get married on Saturday, and we’ll have good food and good music to celebrate that fact with so many of our friends and family around us. Rather than throw myself a pity party, I’m going to have a good time–no matter what.

But your prayers for a rain-free day on Saturday are much appreciated.

Talk to you after the honeymoon!

Countdown to the wedding: 20 days

Remember when I was pining for a jewel-toned dress to wear to the rehearsal dinner? Well, I finally found it! Aaron and I decided to grab coffee today down in the West Village, but on the way we were sidetracked by the Williams-Sonoma on 51st and Lexington. Thank goodness we did, or else I would have never seen this awesome silk dress in the window of Banana Republic.

Banana Republic and I have a love-hate relationship. On one hand, I’m obsessed with their jewelry and have a soft spot for them because my aunt Clarina used to work there. On the other hand, I always get angry when their clothes don’t fit me because they aren’t tailored in the right places for a curvy girl like myself. Thus, I walked into the store with low expectations, grabbed the dress off the shelf, and demanded that Aaron stand directly outside of the fitting room area so that I could get his opinion.

The dress is a gorgeous, shimmery plum color, which is the exact color I had envisioned when I wrote about my ideal rehearsal dinner dress. It’s knee length, so it’s demure enough to wear to the rehearsal at the church and the rehearsal dinner afterward, but it has an asymmetrical top with one shoulder strap so it’s sassy enough to wear to the dessert reception after the rehearsal dinner. I’d like to think that Banana Republic read my blog post and created this design especially for me, but perhaps I’m being a little self-centered ☺.

The one source of concern was the belt: without a belt around the waist, the dress hangs too loosely and makes me look about 20 lbs heavier than I actually am. The dress in the window was shown with a skinny metallic belt, but I think that look would be too clubby for the events to which I’m intending to wear it. It comes with a silk belt in the same color as the rest of the dress and is supposed to be worn on the side. I experimented with that arrangement, but it was drawing too much attention to my hips.

I tried a couple of other belts I have in my wardrobe, but everything looked to casual. Finally, I tied the silk belt with the bow in the back and that looked the best. I think that with heels and my hair down (as well as accessories that are more formal than the ones in the picture), everything will come together nicely.

The ensemble cost more than I was planning to spend, but after shopping at a minimum of five other stores and coming away empty-handed, I probably would have paid double the amount. Besides, one of my Married Person’s Resolutions is to stop buying a bunch of crappy clothes at discount stores and start investing in a few quality pieces that I will wear all the time. I think this dress definitely falls into that category.

Image courtesy of BananaRepublic.com

Ever since I ordered my dress back in February, I’ve been slowly but surely thinking about and purchasing accessories. I’ve flipped through tons of bridal magazines and pulled out ideas for headpieces, veils, necklaces, bracelets and earrings. My vision for my wedding-day look: simple and elegant—with a little bling. For example, I don’t want to wear a huge tiara, but I don’t want my head to be completely bare. I had thought about wearing my pearl necklace and bracelet (which were a wonderful gift from my matron of honor, Becky, when I was her bridesmaid), but then I remembered this is the only day a girl can really wear some sparkle and get away with it. Why not go for it?

So one day after work a few months ago, I went to Macy’s at Herald Square to look at jewelry. I found some wonderful pearl-and-rhinestone chandelier earrings (see picture I took of them below). I almost bought a bracelet there, too, but it wasn’t cheap and I wasn’t 100 percent in love with it. I figured I have a lot of time to find something I like a bit more.

I’ve also been checking out headpieces. At first, I was going to buy a pearl- or rhinestone-studded comb, but I’ve been seeing simple, sparkly headbands in bridal mag ads, and I love that look. I saw one in a David’s Bridal ad, so the other night, I hit up my local DB. I found the headpiece and bought it on the spot. Here it is (it looks much prettier in person!):

So, as far as accessories, I just need to get a necklace, a bracelet and my veil. I’m thinking about ordering this necklace below from weddingsparkles.com. If I don’t like it, I’ll just send it back—no big deal.

In the meantime, I’ll keep looking for the perfect bracelet and I’ll order my veil later at the shop where I got my dress (they gave me $100 off a veil!).

Photos courtesy of davidsbridal.com and weddingsparkles.com.

As most brides on a budget have before me, I’m making my place cards and programs myself. And by “myself,” I mean with Paul, one of my best friends, Emily, my mom, and my sister. Nevertheless, no professional will have touched those paper goods, and all of our fingers will be sorer for it.

For place cards, well, technically, escort cards, I picked up some white ones with a pearly white inner border from Staples for about $15. Because plain white just won’t do, my mom cut flowers off from the first round of invites that I ordered when I thought I was having my wedding in Staten Island. I added rhinestones, as I’m wont to do, and all three Bodgas women spent a day affixing the bejeweled flowers to the cards. The cutouts are far from uniform, but they look cool anyway.

The programs have been a bit more complicated. Since we’re using the plain, albeit pretty, textured lavender papers I found online, I decided I wanted to add a tag with our names and wedding date on it. Cutting circles freehand is not one of my talents, so my mom, sister, and I set out on a search to find a circle stamper. I bought one for $6 (hooray for A.C. Moore half-price coupons!). After several failed attempts, Paul and I finally figured out how much space we’d need to leave in the Word document in between the text for our tags. We began printing and stamping.

Next up was printing the program contents (the bridal party’s names, order of the ceremony, thank you page, and such) on this gray, marbled paper my mom got for $2/100 sheets from Jack’s World, a discount store in Manhattan (and elsewhere, too, maybe!). You’d never believe how tricky it is to figure out which pages should be printed together and separately so, once you fold them, everything is in order. More failed attempts, but we eventually got it.

I had bought ribbon at a stationery store a while back, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Luckily my other best friend named Emily had ample supply of a similar ribbon left over from when she made me these beautiful thank you cards for my engagement party.

So now we had to assemble these things. We formed an assembly line: Emily folded the gray printed paper inside the covers. Paul punched holes in them and the circle tags. And I, the weakest link of the line, slowly strung the ribbon through the holes, tied on the tags, and knotted each at the ends. We’re only about 1/6 of the way done, but I’m not worried: It’s the last project to complete before wedding-time (!).

Now I’m thankful for all those no rsvps–we’d have a lot more programs to make if they all said yes.

Countdown to the wedding: 27 days

We really need to solidify the details of our ceremony so that we can write up the program, so Aaron and I have spent a lot of time over the past week making decisions about various ceremony elements. One of the big decisions was the reading: which reading to do, who should do it, and where to put it within the ceremony. It seems like such a little thing, but it was definitely one of those wedding planning moments where a little decision suddenly seemed like an enormous one.

The first issue is that we couldn’t find a reading that captured what we wanted to be said at that particular moment. We looked at all the usual suspects in the Bible—I Corinthians, Ecclesiastes, a number of verses in Song of Songs—and some non-Scripture possibilities like something from The Prophet, or even passages from novels we both liked (turns out that The Giver is not exactly wedding-appropriate), but nothing really seemed to click.

Then Aaron remembered that a reading had been done at his cousin’s wedding that consisted of a poem by Pablo Neruda read in both Spanish and English. This seemed like a great idea, especially because we had originally wanted to do a Spanish/English reading, although we had tossed that idea aside when we had difficulty finding a reading we liked. We found the poem Aaron’s cousin had used, and both loved it. Aaron even translated it into English because he found some of the online translations lacking.

The next decision was to figure out who would do the reading. This was really stressing me out: how could we possibly choose someone to do this without making others from that group feel left out? Aaron requested that Sylvan be involved in the reading, which I fully support as Sylvan is the best man and we’re having our wedding over his graduation weekend (not to mention the graduations of many of our relatives). I know it’s a little nontraditional to have someone from the wedding party also do a reading, but I think this makes sense for us.

We then decided to have my Aunt Judy do the Spanish portion of the reading. Judy was so honored when I asked her, and she graciously wanted to make sure that 1) no one who was a native Spanish speaker would be offended if she did the reading, even though she speaks Spanish fluently, and 2) that my dad’s side of the family would feel adequately represented at the ceremony. I really appreciated her concerns, especially because I have been so overwhelmed by the love and support bestowed on me by my dad’s sisters, but I think that Judy will do a wonderful job and I think it will be a nice gesture to have her read in a non-native tongue to honor the heritage of my father’s family and Aaron’s father’s family.

Figuring out the reading epitomized everything that has been stressful about the wedding planning process: having too many possible answers, being worried about favoring one person over another, and not being able to default to tradition when we are trying to have an extremely traditional wedding. But I am so happy with our final decision, and I think it will be a beautiful part of the ceremony. Here is the poem we chose:

I do not love you as though you were salt-rose, topaz
or the arrow of carnations that fire brings.
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that does not bloom, and carries
hidden within itself the light of its flowers;
and, thanks to your love, a certain quickening fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in me.

I love you . . . I don’t know how or when or where.
I simply love you, no problems, no pride.
Like this I love you thus because I know no other way,

than this: in which I do not exist, nor you
so close that your hand on my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Last Saturday, Justin and I went to Men’s Wearhouse to pick out his tux and the tuxes for his groomsmen and our fathers. I left the decision up to him about whether he wanted to do a dark suit, tuxes with ties or tuxes with bow ties and cummerbunds. He chose the middle-of-the-road option: tuxes with ties. The tuxes are one-button notch lapel (whatever the heck that means.) The vests will all be a herringbone pattern; Justin’s will be light silver (and my nephew, our ring bearer, will match him. SO cute!)…

The groomsmen will have a darker silver vest:

The dads will have black:

…and the two ushers will have a plain black (not herringbone) satin vest. The whole process was easier than I thought it would be (it was even easier because Justin knew the woman helping us. It turns out they went to elementary school together—so funny!). Justin and I pretty much agreed on everything (I tried to keep my mouth shut and not take over the whole thing—this was his deal).

And, they make it really conveinent. The guys can get fitted for their tuxes at any Men’s Wearhouse location, and then pick up or drop off the tux at any other location (perfect for us since our groomsmen are scattered around the country).

I’m happy with the choices we made and I think the guys will look totally handsome. I’m excited to see them all standing up at the altar (especially that guy in the light silver vest!).

Photos courtesy of menswearhouse.com.

First, it was a preview for the Sex and the City movie: “Get carried away May 30th.” Then, I saw a subway ad for an asthma research walk, “Saturday, May 31st.” Now, it’s my milk carton: “Expires 5/31/08.” There’s no denying it: My wedding is officially just days away.

I wish my stomach didn’t turn every time I admitted that to myself. I’m not at all afraid of marrying Paul, but I’m stressed out from working on our last-minute to do list, including making programs and place cards and finalizing plans with our vendors.

Paul and I met with our DJ today to go over the itinerary and our song requests. We’ve tried to stay away from wedding cliches with our choices, but I’m sure every couple thinks they’re original!

First, our bridal party will be announced as “Baba O’Reilly,” by The Who plays. Then Paul and I will be introduced to “Today,” by the Smashing Pumpkins, and go right into our first dance, “Thank You,” by Led Zeppelin.

After that, we’ll invite everyone on the dance floor to do the Hora (the big Jewish circle dance to the song, “Havah Nagilah”), and Paul and I will be hoisted up in the air on chairs, something I’ve always wanted to do, despite my minor fear of heights. The Hora will transition into the Tarantella, the similarly crazily paced  Italian tune.

Our best man, Rich, and my best friends from college, Melissa and Emily, will give toasts. My grandpa will say the Hamotzi, the Jewish blessing you’re supposed to say over challah bread before you eat. And Paul and I may say a quick thank you to our guests, but that’ll be all the talking. I want to have as much time for dancing as possible!

For my dance with my dad, we’re using “Dig,” by Incubus. I know, I know, not a traditional choice, but the words are sweet while recognizing that our relationship is far from lovey dovey: “We all have someone that digs at us, at least we dig each other,” and “When weakness turns my ego up, I hope you’ll remember the me of yesterday.”

Paul and his mom are dancing to “The Man You’ve Become,” by Molly Pasutti. It was clearly written for weddings, so it’s fitting: “I’m so proud of who you are, The man you’ve become. Thrilled to share your deepest joy, To know you’ve found the one.”

I’ve decided to toss my bouquet, and I’ll coax my girlfriends up on the floor with “Express Yourself,” by Madonna. We’re skipping the garter toss though. It just feels icky to me.

For the cake-cutting, “I Want to Grow Old with You,” from The Wedding Singer, will play. As older guests begin to leave, we’ll sneak in songs like “Baby Got Back,” by Sir Mix-A-Lot, and “Calabria,” (the “whoop, whoop” song that’s on the radio now). And the last song of the night will be “One More Time,” by Daft Punk.

Sounds like a good time, right? Lord knows I need a party right now…

Countdown to the wedding: 33 days

There’s a little more than a month left before the wedding and the RSVPs are filtering in bit by bit. My mom has been calling me regularly to give me the update on who is coming and who isn’t, and so far we’ve received about half of the responses. So far the schedule has been exactly like Meredith said it would be: a bunch of responses come after you first mail the invitations, then there’s a slow period, followed by a rush at the end. I think this week Aaron and I are going to start calling people who haven’t yet responded, so that we can get a headcount to the vendors well before the RSVP deadline.

This number will be especially important for Village Caterers, the catering company used by the Los Gatos Opera House. We’ve been working with Tony Barbatti, who is just wonderful and has patiently answered every ridiculous question we’ve thrown at him. Currently, the biggest question is whether or not we will be using food stations or a sit-down dinner format, and that decision is based on our final headcount. If the guest list exceeds a certain number, we’ll have to do the sit down, otherwise we’ll go with the food stations, which is our first choice.

I personally don’t have a huge preference one way or another, but the food stations sound like a lot of fun and I think they will encourage people to mingle more than a sit-down format would. Plus, there are a bunch of different themed stations to choose from that have a little something for everyone. When we had our initial meeting with Tony, we chose the following stations:

Carving Station: We can choose any two from this list of items: roasted turkey breast, honey baked ham, beef tenderloin, whole poached salmon, or roasted leg of lamb with mint sauce.

Asian Station: Pot stickers, spring rolls, chicken satay, and California rolls.

Pasta Station: Cesar Salad, garlic bread, pasta primavera, and tortellini with Alfredo or pesto sauce.

Oh man, I am getting so hungry just writing about this! On the other hand, with the table service, we choose one salad to serve to everyone, two entrees, and two side dishes. Looking at their menu online, I think I would choose this combination:

Salad: Caesar salad with freshly grated Parmesan and homemade croutons.

Side Dishes: Risotto cakes, asparagus.

Entrees: Cornish game hen with a lavender glaze or salmon fillets served with a citrus dill sauce.

And of course, there’s always the cake! Well, whatever happens, I am confident that Tony will do an amazing job with the food. Hopefully I will be able to eat some of it amid all the insanity.

Image courtesy of thaifood.about.com

In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, this post is dedicated to my mom. I honestly have no idea how I could plan this wedding without her. She has done SO much already. She’s been there every step of the way. Here’s why I think she’s the best mother-of-the-bride in the entire world:

-She’s made countless phone calls to vendors and our wedding planner (initial inquiries, follow up phone calls, etc.)
-She met with various vendors, including photographers and my florist and cake baker (and she found our fantastic photographer at a bridal show!)
-She’s organized tons of information, notes and appointments. The woman has three wedding-planning binders—enough said!
-She’s created mock-ups of possible programs, memorial candles, favors and table cards, and will soon be working on escort cards.
-She’s met with my wedding planner on my behalf several times.
-She’s been there with me at ALL of my appointments—cake tasting, food tasting, hair trial, florist appointment and so on—and asked any questions that need to be asked.
-She’s found addresses for our invitations, and she’s heading up sending the invites out and tracking responses.
-She’s updated the budget, to-do list and guest list on theknot.com.
-She’s given me emotional support when I’ve gotten stressed and overwhelmed…

…and much, much more. (Here she is below with my nephew—her grandson—at his 3rd birthday party. Isn’t he the cutest?!?!)

I know that soon she will have to take a little bit of a break from wedding planning—she’s having her second knee replacement surgery at the end of May (she had her first knee done last June). She needs to do this to get healthy so she can enjoy life without pain—she’s lived with it for too many years (she has arthritis). I’m sad that I won’t be there for Mother’s Day this weekend or for her surgery, but she knows that my thoughts will be only with her both those days. Thanks, Mom, for always being there for me, helping me and supporting me. Thank you for everything you’ve done for the wedding—and always!

I also want to give a shout-out to all the other mothers in my life—my mother-in-law-to-be, my aunts, my girlfriends with children, my sister-in-law. Your dedication and love for your children is inspiring, and I hope that one day I’ll be as good a mother as you all are!