These past two weeks have been full of fun wedding stuff—you might remember that last week I bought my dress. Well, this week Justin and I have been working on our honeymoon details! He has been heading up the research for this because, with all the stress of the wedding, I didn’t want to deal with planning a trip. And he’s done a great job. We discussed a few places we might like to go and he did all the research.

At first, we had our hearts set on Greece. We thought it’d be cute to go there because we live in Astoria (which is a neighborhood full of Greek immigrants, restaurants and shops). Plus, it’s a gorgeous country. (Side note: I must confess my dirty little secret…I’ve never been to Europe! Vacations in my family growing up usually consisted of weekend trips to nearby cities such as St. Louis or Chicago; our biggest extravagance was going to a beach in Florida, which really wasn’t half-bad. So I haven’t been much of a world traveler. But what better time to start?)

However, we decided not to go to Greece (above) because I realized that it was only going to be only a high of 60 degrees when we would be there (in October). I was afraid I’d be sad about seeing those beautiful beaches and not being able to lie on them!

Wherever we went, we wanted to have relaxation time but also be in a place where we could do some cool sightseeing. We didn’t really want to go somewhere in the Caribbean because we got engaged in Jamaica. So then we started talking about other places in Europe, maybe Italy or France or London. We also discussed Belize, which sounded like a great mix of culture plus beaches, and it was about 80 degrees every day. Can’t beat that. But at the last minute, we decided to go to Paris for about four days and then spend about seven days in Italy (we’ve resolved to go to Belize for our first anniversary!). I just couldn’t turn down a European vacation—I mean when else will we have two weeks off of our jobs and want to spend so much money for a vacation? Soon we’ll want to start saving for a house, kiddos, etc., and we couldn’t see ourselves spending that much moolah in the near future.

So we’ll leave for Paris the day after our wedding, Oct. 19, and get in the morning of Oct. 20. We’ll stay in Paris for three nights and then take a puddle jumper to Pisa. We’ll probably see the Leaning Tower and then hop on a train to Florence. We’ll stay in Florence for a few days, relax, eat some yummy food and see the sights. Then, we’ll get on a train to Cinque Terre (see below), a group of five beautiful coastal villages in the Liguria region of Italy. So romantic!

I’m especially excited about Italy—I love Italian food and every picture I’ve ever seen of the country has been gorgeous. The quaint villages look so relaxing. I can’t wait to eat, drink and be merry with my new hubby!

I know the eponymous disco hit is about divorce, but it’s fitting here because getting wedding bands is the one of the last things we need to do, but just like I had nightmares about shoes, I had one about wedding rings:

I was talked into sailing to Nigeria (amazingly, my subconscious knew that Nigeria is on Africa’s coast) with a jewelry designer. Not long into the journey, she showed me some of her designs. They looked like paper clips. I told her I wanted to head back to New York. Then she told me that Nigerians had died while unearthing diamonds for my ring. I felt awful! Then I was sailing by fjords in Norway that looked more like the It’s a Small World ride in Disney World. Then I woke up.

I wanted to get a wedding band right away, lest I have another bizarre dream. Paul and I went with my mom and sister to the Staten Island mall to look around. Though my engagement ring is modern, I was set on getting a vintage-looking band. I love dainty rings with micro-pave diamonds and milgrain (those rows of little dots on the metal). Plus, rings with tiny diamonds cost less than ones with diamonds the same size as my side stones, but the ones I tried on didn’t look good with my engagement ring. On my other hand, they looked fine, but not amazing. Paul didn’t love anything he tried, either. We left empty-handed.

On Valentine’s Day, we went to Fortunoff in Manhattan…15 minutes before they closed. We each tried on a bunch, but nothing was great–or affordable.

After work one day, I stopped by Zales. I tried on some antique styles, but they all looked silly with my engagement ring…even on the other hand. So I tried on one that matched my ring. I liked how it looked! Unfortunately, it had these silly indents in the metal on both sides of the diamonds. I asked the saleswoman if a ring could be custom-made without those divots. “No,” she said flatly.

This past Sunday, Paul and I went to the Queens Center Mall. I tried on more bands that had channel set princess diamonds, like my engagement ring, but nothing was an exact match. I didn’t think I’d ever find something that looked right with it. Finally, I found one with diamonds just like mine with milgrain in the metal. It was somehow modern and vintage at once! I grimaced when the salesman told me the price. He asked me how much I wanted to spend, so I told him. He talked to the manager, and we had a deal. Though they only had it in yellow gold in the store, it gave me that “this is the one” feeling that no wedding dress could. I was excited–and relieved.

Paul found one he liked, too, but it couldn’t be sized to his finger, so he passed on it. I’m a little worried that Paul doesn’t have a wedding band or a tux, but he’s going to Men’s Wearhouse on Sunday to take care of the latter. Hopefully I won’t have any scary dreams about his tux search before then!

Countdown to the wedding: 109 days

I’m so excited—I just received my first wedding gift! Well, shower gift actually, but it’s from our Williams-Sonoma registry, so I think that counts. One of my our dear family friends got us this beautiful Bodum Glass Teapot that makes tea using a French Press technique. It arrived in the gorgeous Williams-Sonoma wrapping, along with a little metal pineapple charm that they attach to the ribbon. Does anyone know whether or not those pineapple tins can actually be used as molds? They look functional, but they could just be decorative.

The teapot is a wonderful reminder of my upcoming bridal shower, which will take place on Saturday, March 8th, at my parents’ house in California. Aaron and I are flying out to the West Coast from the 6th through the 10th to work on all of the myriad wedding-related things that we can’t do remotely from New York. Between the shower, meeting with our minister (for the first time!), discussing the music, stuffing the invitations, meeting with the florist, doing my first dress fitting, and buying our wedding bands . . . I don’t know when we’re going to find time to sleep!

But the thought of being able to see a large group of my friends and family during my shower makes me very happy. Another reason why the new teapot teapot excites me so is because it reminds me that the theme of my shower is “high tea”—hats strongly encouraged! I think I am going to wear some type of veil-like thing, but other people are wearing everything from shower caps to baseball hats. My mom and sister sent out the cutest teapot-shaped invitations a few weeks ago. I bought a black and white print wrap dress for the occasion, but I may switch it out for something brighter if I can find a more suitable option.

I can’t believe that this is going to be MY bridal shower. It’s a huge sign that the wedding is not-so-far-away! The other night I started to get a little sad at the thought of not being able to look forward to my wedding shower after March 8th, and then I thought—gee, is that how I’m going to feel after the wedding? I’ve often heard that there’s a bit of a let down after such a big event. I know it sounds silly, but part of me wonders how I’m going to fill all the time that the wedding planning has consumed over the past year and change when there’s no longer a wedding to plan.

That makes me sound like I don’t have a career, friends, or family, which I am fairly certain is not the case. I haven’t even poured as much time and energy as I possibly could into this, and I’m still worried that I’m going to be sitting around twiddling my thumbs after it’s over! Do other brides-to-be feel this way? Do newlyweds actually experience this? I’d be very interested in knowing!

Countdown to the wedding: 110 days

You’ll have to excuse the silliness of this post, but I thought it might be fun to do an Oscar-themed roundup of some of the highlights of the wedding planning process over the past few months. Luckily the writer’s strike hasn’t affected this awards ceremony! Speaking of which, does anyone else out there think that the random photo montages they showed were really weird? Also, why do some people thank their agent before they thank God? Anyway, let’s start the show . . .

Best Costume Design. It’s an upset! The favorite—Allure Bridals, the designer of my dress—lost to the random woman in the lingerie store today who managed to guess my bra size while I still had on my parka. It really freaked me out, but then she handed me the perfect undergarments to go under my dress. Congratulations, x-ray vision lady.

Best Director. This was a tie between my mom and our wedding coordinator Loretta at the Opera House, but I’m giving this to Loretta because my mom will receive Best Supporting Actress, and also because Loretta has answered every one of the gajillion questions that my mother and I have asked her. Here’s to you, Loretta!

Best Sound Editing. I am super psyched about our DJ, Jesse, but so far I haven’t experienced his work in person. Thus, the award will go to Aaron, whom I asked to create a list of music possibilities for the reception, ceremony, and wedding video. Thanks for keeping us organized!

Best Supporting Actor. Aaron asked that this award be presented to his brother Quentin in honor of his decision to get married first so that Aaron could feel a little more prepared for his own wedding.

Best Supporting Actress. There’s only one person whom this could possibly go to: my mother, for being so infinitely supportive in every way imaginable. How would we possibly do this without you, Mom?

Best Picture. It’s been a while since I posted a picture of Aaron and I, so I snapped this one of the two of us right before we went out for Mexican food with our friends Brian and Claire. I only just realized that it looks exactly like the last picture of us I posted a few weeks ago! Well, that one is definitely out of the running, but my favorite picture of us is the one where Aaron and I are dancing by the fountain. Can’t wait to see what Ashley will be able to do with the wedding photography!

I’m pretty much on cloud nine today—I got my dress last night! It has everything I wanted: beading, pearls and crystals on the bodice; mermaid cut; corset back. I really had that “this is my dress” moment…it felt right. I, as they say, “just knew” (just like with my hubby-to-be)! I felt great in it.

But the road to this happy occasion has been bumpy. I first found the dress on the designer’s web site back in December. But when I started calling around to find a local shop that carried the dress, I found out that the frock was a few seasons old and no one had it in stock. Me, my matron of honor (Becky) and my sister-in-law (Vickie) must have called 25 stores between us. Finally, Becky reached a saleswoman at a store in North Bergen, N.J. (which is just a few miles outside of Manhattan), who said she could borrow the dress from the designer for me to try on. I had an appointment to try on this much-sought-after dress on Saturday. My mom was visiting so she was with me, we were both excited—we had a hunch I would love it and buy it on the spot. But, when I walked in the store, the saleswoman said, “Emily, you’re going to be upset with me. The designer sent the wrong dress.” I was disappointed to say the least. I stayed and tried on the dress they did send (a very similar dress to the one I wanted, but with a different cut) and a few other mermaid styles she had in the store. Nothing was right. The saleswoman told me that the designer was going to send the correct one and it’d be there by Wednesday (precisely the day my mom was leaving to go back to Indiana!).

I was upset that my mom wasn’t going to be there with me to try it on and I was a bit frustrated with the whole process. But luckily, the right dress arrived and I went back to the bridal shop last night. I was by myself—which was not an ideal situation but my only bridesmaid in NYC was busy and I didn’t feel like dragging any other friends on the bus to New Jersey after work. I was nervous toward the end of the day yesterday—I knew I was going to have to make a big decision. But it turned out fine that I was alone. The saleswomen fawned over me, and I found I didn’t really need anyone else’s opinion. I just knew it was my dress. And as one of my bridesmaids pointed out, it’ll be exciting to show all my bridesmaids and my mom the dress on me for the first time.

So now that I know what my dress looks like, I get to decide on accessories. It seems like there are so many options for veils—cathedral length, fingertip length, with crystals or without, with lace or without, one or two layers—I just don’t know! I think I want something simple like the pic below (from the Davids Bridal web site):

And then there is the headpiece (should I get a clip, a comb or a tiara?). And the shoes—silver or ivory? sandals or closed-toe? And what about the jewelry (chandelier or drop earrings? Pearls or silver? What kind of bracelet will I wear?)

Looks like I’ve got lots more research and shopping to do!

…and find the perfect wedding favors for me.

While I’m thrilled to return to worrying about small things like this (instead of the major issues Paul and I recently faced), I’m ready to be done making decisions. I thought that we’d go with truffles, but Paul and I ordered some to taste-test (a tough job, but someone has to do it) and none lived up to our standards.

I’m picky when it comes to chocolate because I’ve enjoyed quite a bit of it in my lifetime. People don’t believe me when I tell them this, but I swear, I have chocolate at least six days a week. For instance, today I had a chocolate chip cookie with lunch and a Perugina chocolate as a snack. It’s just subconsciously part of my daily diet. And I wonder why my wedding dress had to be ordered in a size 14!

So, being the extreme chocolate consumer that I am, I’m nervous to order the pretty chocolate favors my mom found while she feverishly searched for something perfect for me online. Presentation is important to me, and these, pictured here, certainly will decorate our tables nicely. I also love that we can personalize the favor with our wedding colors (which are, uh, purple and purple) and our initials, but can this chocolate possibly be tasty? Paul and I were able to order just one of each truffle to sample, but we’d have to order a minimum of 25 to try these chocolates. I’ve had so many wedding expenses that led nowhere (first set of invites and save-the-dates, my first dress, and the truffles), so I’m not willing to spend another $50 to possibly hate the chocolate. Still, it’s a good option, so thanks mom!

Every non-food item seems like a knick-knack that no one would appreciate, so I’m stuck on giving chocolate. I found these cute wedding cake-shaped chocolate lollipops which look yummy, but my Sweet 16 favors were chocolate lollipops, and I’m trying to avoid turning my wedding into a party for teenagers at all costs. But are lollipops really too cheesy? If not, are wedding cake shaped things too corny? Will people appreciate chocolate or do I just think they will because I’m so obsessed with it?

Speaking of my Sweet 16, I placed a disposable camera on each table at the party to get cool candids. Instead, there were only three cameras left at the end of the night. One had cute shots of me and my friends (thank goodness), one was barely used, and the other was full of photos of the floor, the bathroom, and some nostril close-ups. So I decided I didn’t want to repeat that mistake, but I read a brilliant idea today: Leave cards on your tables with your e-mail address so guests can send you the photos they take with their digital cameras. I’m so doing that.

Countdown to the wedding: 117 days

A few weeks ago, I caved in and registered at Williams-Sonoma. I know, I know—if one and a half registries (the half being the small registry I created on Amazon.com) are consuming an inordinate amount of my time, why register at yet another store? Well, I’ve always dreamed of registering at Williams-Sonoma—we had originally eschewed the idea in favor of a less specialized store like Macy’s—and as the countdown to the wedding nears the double-digits (gasp!) I’m realizing that this is my last chance to make sure that I’m putting my personal stamp on the wedding festivities. Besides, how adorable is the new line of New Orleans-inspired toile linens?

Slightly less adorable, although decidedly more important than pretty table linens, are the conversations Aaron and I have had over the past few days about finances. As someone who was taught to be very private about things like income, it feels strange to talk openly about how much money we make and how much money we spend individually. Together we created a spreadsheet to track the money that comes in to us every month and how much we spend on things like rent, food, and clothes. Then we talked about how much we need to save in order to pay off student loans, contribute to investments, and possibly buy a house over the next five years or so. It really clarifies things to see those numbers in black and white on Excel—and it’s amazing to see how much it will continue to cost us to live in Manhattan.

It is very important to both Aaron and I that we feel empowered by our financial situation and not controlled by it, whether we are a young couple just starting off or a more established couple saving toward retirement. I think that being open and forward-thinking about our financial situation is a step in the right direction. I also think it’s important that we are each actively involved in our financial management and planning, so that no one feels out of the loop or less accountable for the money that goes in and out of our accounts. For this reason, I’ve nominated myself official bill payer, as I am the more organized between the two of us. Aaron will look into investments, and we both will discuss and update our monthly budget.

One thing that will be interesting to track over the next few years is how our roles as breadwinners change. I think we are both equally interested in staying at home with the family and being the sole breadwinner, so it really is a matter of comparing the opportunities each of us has available at a particular point in time.

Lots of interesting things to think about over the next few months!

Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day yesterday! Justin and I didn’t go out (we celebrated last Friday night with a fancy steakhouse dinner and an Off-Broadway play) because my mom arrived from Indiana last night. (Here’s my mom and I at a concert a couple years ago.)

She’s here to visit for five days—I’m super-excited! While we have some fun things on our agenda (such as going to brunch at Tavern on the Green and seeing A Chorus Line on Broadway), we’ve got a lot of wedding things to do as well. Since we don’t see each other often, our to-do list is long for this weekend:

1. Look through wedding craft ideas I’ve gathered (a guest book cover design, crystal drop earrings and table numbers from a book called The DIY Bride and pretty paper-covered candles from Brides New York magazine). If we decide to do any of the ideas we’ll go to Michael’s to get materials and then do the project(s). (Side note: I would suggest picking up The DIY Bride: 40 Fun Projects for Your Ultimate One-of-a-Kind Wedding —many of the crafts are super-easy and cute!)
2. Buy high-quality, pretty paper and make info sheets to send with the save-the-dates (they’ll list information about flights, hotel room blocks and rental cars) and also sheets for the welcome gift bags that we’ll leave in the guests’ hotel rooms (they’ll have info about where to eat and play while in Terre Haute)
3. Discuss the ceremony programs (we’re going to make them ourselves)
4. Call the catering director at our wedding venue to set up a tasting
5. And last but definitely not least—buy my wedding dress!

About that last thing on my list: I’ve been waiting for my mom to come visit so that I can get my dress. I feel like it’ll be an important, special moment (or at least a big purchase) and I want her to be there for it. I’ve of course already scouted out dresses and I have the options narrowed down to three. I would love to show you pictures of the possibilities, but I know that my fiancé reads this blog, and I don’t want him to know what my dress looks like! But I can give some vague details because he doesn’t know what terms like “A-line” and “bodice” mean. ☺ I’ve tried on lots of different gown styles—A-line, ballgowns, all lace. But I kept coming back to mermaid gowns with detail (beads, crystals, lace or a combination of those things) on the bodice and the same detail on the bottom of the dress. I don’t want adornments all over the frock—just in those two places. I want either a corset or buttons on the back of the dress. Next Friday, I’ll let you know if one of my top 3 was “the one”!

In the meantime, my mom and I will be doing some wedding work, and probably enjoying a glass of wine or two while we’re at it. Cheers!

For the first time in the year and a half we’ve been engaged, I can say with 100% certainty (barring an act of God, I suppose) that I know where our wedding will be. This is a great feeling since the first location we booked never got built and the second location hasn’t been completed yet. As they say, third time’s a charm. Now that the deposit’s in and the menu’s chosen, I’m feeling an unfamiliar, but quite welcome, sense of relief that things will work out. Stirling Ridge is the unique, modern, elegant wedding hall I knew had to exist somewhere in the world, and now it’s the place where Paul and I will get married. We’re finally feeling happy about the location of our wedding, and now that our other vendors are on board to move locations (again!), everything’s falling into place.

Our ceremony will take place outdoors, under a large wooden canopy. Paul and I, the bridal party, and our officiants will stand in front of a grid that’s affixed to a wall. In each square of the grid, there will be a candle. Our guests will sit in rows of gold chiavari chairs. My only concern (besides the weather, but if it’s just a drizzle, we’ll still do it outside) is falling while walking down the aisle. But I’m prepared to take a tumble; I’m one of the clumsiest people I know. I’ll just pick myself up and laugh it off.

After the ceremony, we’ll file into the cocktail hour room, which I think looks like the product of a ski lodge mating with a Manhattan night club. There will be passed hors d’oeuvres and stations: One with cheeses, veggies, and pasta, and another with comfort foods like mac and cheese, potato skins, and cornbread (I loooooove cornbread).

And then, into the grand ballroom we’ll go for the reception. When I saw the photo of it online I thought it was amazing, but in person, wow. Even Paul gasped. It’s so sparkly and new and will be a great home for our tall purple centerpieces. I can easily picture my and Paul’s entrance, our first dance, our cake-cutting, and every other moment of the night–even things I’m not sure that we’re doing, like the bouquet toss and the garter toss.

I couldn’t envision any of that in the old place, even once it was mostly ready. No matter how tightly I closed my eyes, I just couldn’t see Paul and me getting married there. And now we’re not! Sure, this was a HUGE bump in the road on an already bumpy road to our wedding, but now that it’s all figured out, we can go back to worrying about little things like programs, place cards, and favors.

Paul and I went out for dinner tonight, our pre-Valentine’s Day tradition that we’ve been doing ever since we got sick of the smaller, but more expensive, menus restaurants give to V-Day diners. But tomorrow after work, we’re going to go look at wedding bands, picking right up where we left off before this whole mess unfolded. It’ll be a nice way to celebrate the day, and it’ll be nice to be back on track with this whole planning thing.

Countdown to the wedding: 121 days

First of all, Happy early Valentine’s Day! If you’re looking for something to do tomorrow, check out the “Matched in Manhattan” marathon on Lifetime TV tomorrow beginning at 4 PM PST/EST. If you tune in to episode IV at 6:30, you will see little ole’ me interviewing for (and landing!) and internship with Manhattan’s top matchmaker. It’s amazing how hours and hours of filming translate to only a few minutes on screen. Oh well—if this is my 15 minutes of fame, I’ll take it!

In other news, the invitations came in and they look FABULOUS. Any concerns about whether or not the cursive was legible were completely dissipated when we took them out of the box. The black ink is so much darker than it appeared in the proof, and we slightly increased the font size of the numbers thanks to the suggestion of our Papyrus representative. It was so surreal to see our names printed within the traditional invitation verse. I remember staring at my parents’ framed wedding invitation for hours when I was a little girl, and now here is the version that I will frame and share with my children.

I can’t believe that there are 121 days until the wedding—that seems simultaneously like such a long and short time. On one hand, it feels like we’ve been engaged forever and that we’ll be in this limbo for eternity. At the same time, how are we going to do everything that needs to be done over the next 121 days? According to my online wedding planner checklist, these are the things that need to be completed between now and the same time next month:

-Choose the wedding cake design. I already have a pretty good idea of what I want: flowers from our florist between the layers and on the top of the cake; a small fleur-de-lis pattern drawn in butter cream frosting.

-Gather contact information for the rehearsal dinner. Should be pretty simple.

-Compile packages for out-of-town guests. We’re going to include inserts in the invitations that include all necessary directions and possibly a small map. I also want to make little gift bags for our guests and drop them off at their hotels—we’ll also include a map and directions in those, if we can find the time to put them together.

-Distribute tux information packets. I’m leaving this to Aaron.

-Purchase wedding bands. The last time we were in California together, Aaron and I met with our friend Shara at Palo Alto Diamonds and picked out a few rings for her to have on hand when we come out to California again in March. We both have a pretty good idea of what we want, so hopefully we can just come in, choose our rings, and order them quickly.

-Make or buy favors. I have no idea what to get for favors. I am a sucker for anything personalized or monogrammed, but I don’t want to spend a ton of money on them (especially because people often forget to take theirs).

-Talk to the maid of honor and best man about party plans. Done.

-Get Aaron measured for his tux. He was measured in June, but I think he’s lost weight since then. A wedding is no time for a baggy tux!

-Buy the lingerie for the dress. Where does one go to find things that suck you in and make you look fabulous? I will have to investigate.