The Pash Wedding blogs is currently on hiatus.  In the meantime, please visit the blog of our sister site: BlissWeddingsMarket.com for great DIY wedding tips.

I was a bridesmaid in an absolutely lovely wedding this past weekend. Me and the other girls in the bridal party really rallied together (I think! I hope!) and did everything we could to make the bride’s day go smoothly. It got me thinking about how glad I’ll be to have my bridesmaids there to help me on my big day. Here’s my lineup:

Maid of Honor: CC, my best friend from high school
Matron of Honor: Becky, another great friend from high school
Bridesmaid: Vickie, my sister-in-law (my brother’s wife)
Bridesmaid: Meredith, my best friend in New York City
Bridesmaid: Alex, my sister-in-law-to-be (Justin’s sister)

These girls have already helped me so much–they’ve helped me find my wedding dress, started planning showers and parties, brainstormed ideas with me, and so on.

The girls will be in simple but beautiful Alfred Angelo teal dresses. I really wanted to pick dresses that would be flattering on all the girls, and luckily, they all seem to like them. They all mentioned that they love the color, and that they like the style and the fit. Here’s a pic of them!

Photo courtesy of Alfredangelo.com

So there’s still so much to tell about Justin and I’s recent wedding-planning trip to Indiana! This week, I’m going to focus on the flowers and décor.

The first day of the visit, my mom, maid of honor and I visited my florist, Jerry Schooley at The Station Floral Design Studio (stationfloral.com). My wedding planner came, too, to help explain my vision and give suggestions (side note: one good thing about having a wedding in a semi-small town is that she has a relationship with all of the vendors you use. Very helpful!). I love my florist…I totally trust his style and am confident he’ll do a great job and help bring my vision of a modern candlelit ballroom to life. Anyway, about the flowers I chose: I’m obsessed with hydrangeas (they are so lush and beautiful) so of course I had to have them in my wedding. They cost $13-$15 a stem, which sounds like a lot, but we are going to use them in the ceremony and then reuse them at the reception. Plus, hydrangea stems have big blooms, so a little goes a long way. At the ceremony site, we’ll put green- and cream-colored hydrangea bouquets on pedestals on each side of the beginning of the aisle. We’ll also have simple aisle decorations—a plum-colored dahlia attached to a ribbon on every few rows of chairs. I didn’t want to go overboard with decorations at the ceremony because it’s going to (hopefully) be outside so I don’t want to overshadow the natural beauty of the site (plus, I want to save money!).

Next, we headed to my wedding planner’s office to talk about reception décor. We took stock of the decisions we’d made at the florist’s and talked about other decorations we need. We decided that we’ll have three different kinds of centerpieces—six of the tables will have one kind, six tables will have another type and six tables will have yet another type (for a total of 18 tables). Here’s a short description of each:

1) Dahlias and the hydrangeas from the ceremony will be in square-shaped vases of three different heights (similar to the vase below). The vases will be placed on top of mirrors and surrounded by lots of votives. My wedding planner raved about this set-up—she’s used something similar in a wedding before, and she says the candlelight reflects off of the water in the vases and the whole thing just looks gorgeous.

2) I really wanted some tall centerpieces, so I’m going to use tall tube-shaped vases that my wedding planner has (see picture of a similar vase below). I think they’ll look great with the stalk of dahlias we’re going to put inside them.

3) Lastly, we’ll use a very short, large, square glass vase (more like a square bowl, actually) with flower blooms and candles floating in water.

Also, a smattering of flower petals will be sprinkled on all of the tables. I’m really happy about our choices…I think they are simple but elegant. I can’t wait to see them all together and the room set up on our wedding day.

Photos courtesy of www.awsd.co.uk and www.chaircoversido.com.

I woke up today for the first time in days with dry eyes. My dreams tend to reflect what is going on in my life so it was nice to wake up and not be immediately pissed off or sad.

I’ve thought about calling my mom and talking to her about what has been going on. I think that she would take it worse than I have though. She has my husband on a pedastal that even I know isn’t that sturdy.

Marriages tend to come and go in our family so easily. I want to be different, and I want to prove to the younger members of my family that a successful marriage can be achieved. Do I have a successful marriage? Right now I don’t know. There is a part of me that knows without a doubt that I do. But again that little voice keeps saying: “Not without work.” I’m okay with that. I think divorce is the easy way out and as angry as I’ve been, that word has never crossed my mind. Leaving him for a few days - yes, but divorce, not on my life.

My husband has been looking at counselors as I’ve mentioned before. I think that I need it more than he does. I can hold a grudge for years and years, and I will make him pay for just as long. I don’t want to do that. If we’re arguing about the color of a wall, I don’t want to throw it in his face that he has lied to me, and I will. I will put this man through hell for a long time. I know because I’ve done it in past relationships. When I explained this to my husband, he said he’s willing to go through hell for the rest of his life if it means I will stay with him. That isn’t a marriage. I think he’s suprised that I’m willing to work on everything with him, and learn the tools we’ll both need to make it through the next year or so. It again goes back to why he didn’t tell me in the first place - he thought I would be gone with no questions asked.

He’s done underestimating me in a variety of ways and I can see that when he looks at me.

I love him so much, and even as I wipe away tears right now (so much for dry eyes), I feel a sense of relief in knowing that I haven’t been crazy in thinking something had happened at some point. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and that I’m thinking clearly for the first time in years.