[This article was originally published in our old website, BlissWeddings.com]

Among the exciting decisions that go into wedding planning is the selection of the bridal party. Usually. But a lot can happen before the ceremony — pressures build, relationships fray. A spat about the color of the bridesmaids' gowns can turn into a battle royale. Most times, problems blow over, but when they blow up, it may be time to hand out the pink slips.

Cheryl, an office manager in Long Island knows first-hand. Three months before her wedding, she fired her maid of honor.

"She wasn't crazy about my choice of husband," she says. "It was a difficult decision, but, ultimately, I was making a choice to marry the man, and I had to stand behind him."

It was no real surprise. Cheryl and her would-be maid of honor had been arguing for nearly a year.

"The writing was on the wall. I just formalized it in a letter." By then, the feeling was mutual and her friend was ready to move on. "In the end, I was glad I did it, although not necessarily glad to lose a friendship over it. It was a loss for both of us."

Maria, an executive assistant in New Orleans, also made the painful decision to divorce her maid of honor. "Right from the start, I began doubting her ability to do the things I asked of her. She tried to turn it into her wedding. She gave me grief about just about everything — from the hotel that we chose for the rehearsal dinner to the flowers to the cake."

Maria finally had a face-to-face. "As hard as it was to sit there and tell her I didn't want her to be a part of the most important day of my life, I have no regrets." Maria tells brides-to-be to choose their wedding party wisely. Someone who is "inefficient, selfish, or just plain lazy will detract from what the whole day is supposed to be about."

If you find yourself in the unenviable position of having to boot a party member, do it as soon and as gently as possible," says Laura Holycross, a certified wedding coordinator and owner of Distinctive Events in Los Angeles.

"Let her know how much you appreciate the effort she has made. Do not go into detail about all her shortcomings as a bridesmaid. Remain calm and be aware that she may be hurt and sad. Let her express herself and just listen." Holycross recommends cushioning the blow by inviting her to take a special role at the ceremony, such as a prayer reading.

Some couples manage to sidestep potential bridal party problems altogether. John and Francine selected their Yorkshire terrier as the maid of honor for their outdoor wedding in Cape Cod. "At least there were no last-minute tribulations with sizes and fittings," says the groom.

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