Congratulations! You’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, and you know that with this tremendous honor comes a long list of To-Do’s that you might not be too sure about right now. The bride is in a state of euphoria over her engagement, so she might not be ready to send you a list of what she expects you to do. Until that list arrives, here are the traditional duties of the bridesmaid that will likely be expected of you:

• Assist in the selection of the bridesmaid dress. Most brides allow their bridesmaids to e-mail their choices of dress styles so that you’ll all decide as a group. The bride says which length works with the formality of the wedding, and she will provide the color or colors for you to consider. So start right away by looking at gown websites to choose the styles that suit you best, and remember that bridesmaids today are wearing different styles of the same designer’s dress (such as halter top, strapless, spaghetti straps) for a more personalized look that still works together as a group.

• Provide your measurements to the bride for the bridesmaid dress. If measurements are required for a dress that will be purchased from a bridal boutique, be sure to go to a tailor or seamstress to have your measurements professionally-taken and recorded on a size card. A pro knows where to measure the hips, waist, and bust. If you’ll order dresses from a department store website, be sure to click on that site’s online size chart to see where your own measurements place you size-wise. You might find that you’re a 12 in their sizing system, while you usually wear an 8.

• Send in payment for your dress. If you are ordering from a gown shop, you might just need to send in a deposit for now, and the balance when the dress arrives. If someone is ordering all of the dresses online, be sure to send them your check now.

• Ask what else will be needed for the wedding day wardrobe, such as shoes. Some brides let their bridesmaids wear their own silver heels, and others require you to buy and dye shoes to match the rest of the bridesmaids. 

• Co-host the bridal shower. As a member of the bridal party, you’re an official host of the first and main bridal shower. So talk with the Maid of Honor and the other bridesmaids to offer your talents in décor, help choose the menu, work out a budget, do invitations, and host the event on the big day.

• Buy a shower gift for the bride. Your group of bridesmaids might wish to give a bigger, more expensive gift off the registry and split the bill, or you might all decide to purchase your own gifts for the bride (or couple, at a co-ed shower).

• Attend additional showers if possible. These days, a bride and groom might have several showers thrown for them by friends, co-workers and family. Make all efforts to attend, if you can, and bring an additional gift when you do attend.

• Assist the bride with any planning tasks as she requests, such as making favors, printing out programs, assembling the invitations. You’re part of her support system, so be available if she needs some help.

• Pay for transportation and/or lodging to and from the wedding city. Unless the bride and groom offer to pay for your travel and lodging, this is up to you.

• Apply for a passport if this will be a destination wedding.

• Help plan and pay for the bachelorette party, as the bride wishes. Some brides don’t want this bash, and others prefer a getaway weekend with the bridesmaids to a spa. Find out the plan and pitch in to bring it to life.

• Attend the rehearsal to find out your walking order and other instructions.

• Attend the rehearsal dinner to celebrate with the bride and groom and their ‘inner circle.’

• Help the bride with any last-minute plans or tasks.

• Arrive on time on the wedding day to attend any hair and makeup appointments, join the bridal breakfast and be ready for pre-wedding photos.

• If requested, help the bride get dressed and ready.

• Pose for pre-wedding photos.

• Participate in the wedding processional, ceremony and recessional

• Participate in the receiving line, if there will be one

• Pose for post-ceremony photos

• Participate in special bridal party dances at the reception

• Assist the bride with anything she needs during the reception

• Assist the bride with anything she needs after the reception, such as directing guests to an after-party, giving guests directions back to their hotel, etc.

• Give the bride and groom a wedding gift